一 : 阅读理解。 Wishing to encourage her young son to make m
| 阅读理解。 |
| Wishing to encourage her young son to make more progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually found his way through a door marked "NO ADMITTANCE." When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. To her horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. At that moment, the great pianist made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a melody. Together, the old master and the young beginner transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was amazed and, as it finished, they cheered. That's the way it is in life. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't exactly graceful flowing music. But when we put our trust in the hands of a Greater Power, our life's work can be truly beautiful. Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You can hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit, and keep playing." |
| 1. The reason why the boy went to the piano was that ________. |
| A. he was encouraged to explore B. his mother forced him to have a look C. he was invited by the pianist D. he was exploring the concert hall |
| 2. What the famous pianist did at the beginning of the concert showed ________. |
| A. what a great pianist he was B. what a skilled pianist he was C. what an upright man he was D. what a strong man he was |
| 3. What did the author really want to tell us in the last paragraph? |
| A. Not being interrupted by others is important. B. Life needs one's own effort combined with guidance and cooperation. C. It is necessary for us to keep doing everything. D. It is important for us to get help from a famous person. |
| 1-3: DAB |
考点：
考点名称：故事类阅读故事类阅读概念：
这类文章一般描述的是某一件具体事情的发生发展或结局，有人物、时间、地点和事件。命题往往从故事的情节、人物或事件的之间的关系、作者的态度及意图、故事前因和后果的推测等方面着手，考查学生对细节的辨认能力以及推理判断能力。
故事类阅读应试技巧：
1、抓住文章的6个要素：
阅读时要学会从事情本身的发展去理解故事情节而不要只看事件在文中出现的先后顺序。因此，无论是顺叙还是倒叙，阅读此类文章时，必须要找到它结构中的5个W（when, where, who, why, what）和1个H（how），不过不是每篇都会完整地交待六个要素。毫无疑问，寻出这些元素是能够正确快速解题的一个先决条件。
2、注意作者的议论和抒情：
高考英语阅读理解故事类文章常伴随着作者思想情感的流露和表达，因此议论和抒情往往夹杂其中。行文时或按事情发生发展的先后时间进行或按事情发生发展的地点来转换，也可能按事情发展的阶段来布局。在引出话题，讲完一件事情后，作者往往会表达个人感悟或提出建议等。这些体现作者观点或思想的语句在阅读时可以划线，它们往往体现文章中心或者写作意图，属于必考点，所以要仔细体会。
3、结合前两点归纳文章中心，把握作者态度：
故事类文章是通过记叙一件事来表达中心思想的，它是文章的灵魂。归纳文章中心思想时，尤其要分析文章的结尾，因为很多文章卒章显志，用简短的议论、抒情揭示文章中心；文章中议论抒情的句子往往与中心密切相关；也有的文章需要在结合概括各段大意的基础上归纳中心。另外，叙述一件事必有其目的，或阐明某一观点，或赞美某种品德，或抨击某种陋习，这就要求我们在阅读时，通过对细节（第1点中的六要素）的理解，把握作者的态度。
4、有章有据进行解题判断：
分析文章，归纳主题，属于分析、概括、综合的表述能力的考查。切忌脱离文章，架空分析，一定让分析在文章中有依据。
二 : How To Make Love 特殊字符大全
使用方法：
●这些字符属于unicode字符集，所以，你的文档需要声明为UTF-8；
●下面符号列表的后面有两列编号，它们并不太一样，第一列是用于HTML的，你需要在前面加上&#符号；
●第二列可以用于CSS文件中，但是需要用反斜杠\转义；
●第二列也可以用于JavaScript，和CSS用法一样，不过要用\u来转义。［www.61k.com]
需要主意的是：
●有的字符在不同的浏览器下表现不太一样；比如小雪人 ? 在Firefox和Chrome下不太一样，钻石 ◆ 在IE下要比Chrome下要大一点儿；
●有的字符在某个浏览器下不会显示；当然原因并不是字符代码的问题，而是浏览器的bug，比如，–在Chrome下。。。
●但是，98%的字符都能在所有浏览器下正常显示的，不过如果你真的要使用，最好仔细在各个浏览器下验证一番。
●经测试这些字符在Android/iOS等智能终端的识别度比较差，所以，使用的时候要特别注意移动浏览器～～
各种箭头
● ? 8672 21E0
● ? 8674 21E2
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● ← 8592 2190
● → 8594 2192
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形状
● ? 8678 21E6
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向右的箭头
● ? 10132 2794
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基本形状
● ▲ 9650 25B2
● ? 9658 25BA
● ▼ 9660 25BC
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● ? 9992 2708
● ★ 9733 2605
● ? 10022 2726
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● ◆ 9670 25C6
● ? 9672 25C8
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标点
● ? 171 00AB
● ? 187 00BB
● ? 139 008B
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● ’ 8217 2019
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法律符号
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货币
● $ 36 0024
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● ¤ 164 00A4
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● ￥ 165 00A5
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数学
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音乐符号
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对号、错号
● 160 00A0
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十字
● ? 9768 2628
● ? 9769 2629
● ? 10013 271D
● ? 10014 271E
● ? 10015 271F
● ? 10016 2720
● ? 10010 271A
● ? 8224 2020
扩展：love特殊字符 / make love / make love not war
扩展：love特殊字符 / make love / make love not war
三 : 【中英双语字幕】How to Make Tea the British Way - Angl
#我的翻译##双语字幕#Anglophenia发表于20150618缺英茶叶专题：上一集Kate分享了让茶成为英国文化关键部分的历史片段（ www.61k.com ?ref=home）这一集她来教大家如何泡出完美英式好茶。［www.61k.com）学学常见的茶艺英语，茶要泡多久，先加奶还是先加水——用杯子泡的茶应该在倒水后加奶，那样它就不会干扰到泡制过程，但如果茶是在壶里泡的，则应该先往杯里加奶。怎么浸泡美味的茶饼？最合适的饼干是什么？保证让你大饱口福。
在英国喝茶一般问你Black（不加奶）或者White（加奶），如果你是white with就是加奶加糖，white without就是加奶不加糖，sugar这个词基本不用说出来。另外Black Coffee虽然不加奶，但你想加多少糖都可以，以前看QAF同人，Brian早上起来老是在黑咖啡里面加一大堆糖，萌得我滚来滚去
1794年英国人发明了骨瓷（低温软质瓷，素烧温度约摄氏800度），泡茶时为了防止高温热水造成精致骨瓷杯裂开，所以加入牛奶冷却，后来成了英国全民习惯，据说二战时英国间谍统一先倒茶再加奶防止被纳粹发现。【我会知道是因为陶瓷是潮州除茶叶外的拳头产品//@冰天赋橦光: 那么问题来了……加什么奶……
话说回来，最好的茶是什么？自然是别人泡好端上来给你的啦。
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 |
 |
扩展：anglophenia / apophenia / 魅族ep31
四 : How to Make Love All Night
HowtoMakeLoveAllNightLoveAll
(andDriveaWomanWild)Malemultipleorgasmandothersecretsforprolongedlovemaking
byDr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.
Copyright
1994
HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-1-
CONTENTS
Introduction
Acknowledgments
Chapter1.MakingFantasyaReality
Chapter2.MeetYourPenis
Chapter3.TalkingtoYourPartnerAboutMaleMultipleOrgasm
Chapter4.TheCompletePCWorkout
Chapter5.MaleMultipleOrgasm–TheSecretRevealed
Chapter6.LearningtoTouch,learningtoFeel
Chapter7.ArousedandAware
Chapter8.Orgasm,Ejaculation,andYou
Chapter9.FromPeakstoPlateaus
Chapter10.YourFirstMultipleOrgasm
Chapter11.ELEVENPractice,Practice,Practice
Chapter12.Success!
APPENDIX1.InterestingThingstoReadWhenYou'reNotHavingSex
APPENDIX2.MaleSexualOrgans(diagram)
-1-
HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-2-Introduction
DanielandAllisonhavebeenmakingloveonarainySundaymorning,andtheyarebothtotallyturnedon.Itstartedintheshowerwithaslowmassageandmovedtothebedroom,wheretheyhavebeenhavingintercourseforthepasttenminutes.DanielknowsthatAllisonneedsatleastanotherfiveminutesofintercoursebeforeshecanclimax.Here'stheproblem:Danieldoesn'tthinkhehasfiveminutesleftinhim.
IfDanielcontinueshavingintercoursethewayhehasforthepasttenminutes,itmaybeonlyamatterofsecondsbeforehehasanorgasm.Hethinksaboutslowingdownorstopping,buttobreaktherhythmnowwouldonlymakeitmoredifficultforAllisontoclimax-heknowsthatAllisonisatthatstagewhereanykindofchangeinhismovementwouldonlyfrustrateher.Besides,ifhetriedtostoportochangetherhythm,Danielcouldlosestrengthinhiserection,whichwouldcomplicatemattersevenfurther.
ThisdilemmaismakingthewholeexperiencealotlesspleasurableforDaniel.Thefirstfewminutesofsexwerepureexcitement,butnowheisworriedandconflicted.Itishardtoenjoysexwhenyou'refightingyourownbody.Truthis,youreallycan'tenjoysexwhenyou'refightingyourownbody.Andneithercanyourpartner.
WhatDanieldoesnotyetknowisthathehasanotheroption:malemultipleorgasm.Themultiorgasmicmanhasstayingpower.Hedoesn'thavetoholdback.Hedoesn'thavetofighthisownbodyanddenyhimselfhisownpleasure.Hecanenjoyalloftheeroticsensationsofintercourse,haveafullorgasm,andkeepgoing!Ifhewishes,hecanhaveasecondorgasm,andkeepgoing!Hecanlastaslongashispartnerwishes,experiencealloftheexcitementandrelease,andkeepgoing!Forthemultiorgasmicman,theskyistrulythelimit.
Danielisnottheonlymanwhohasthisexcitingoption.Today,techniqueshavebeenperfectedtomakemalemultipleorgasmanoptionforalmosteveryman!Agedoesn'tmatter.Previousexperiencedoesn'tmatter.Youngorold,virginorveteran,allyouneedisthedesire,yourpenis,andafewminutesaday.Sodon'tstopnow.Turnthepageandcrossthethresholdintoawholenewsenseofyourownsexualityandawholenewrelationshipforyouandyourpartner.
Acknowledgments
TherearemanypeopleIwouldliketothank.First,Iwishtothankmycolleagues,AnitaBankerandMichaelRiskin,forhelpingdevelopmanyofthesetechniques.Iwouldliketothankmyagent,BarbaraLowenstein,forrecognizingthevalueofthisproject.Iwishtothankmyeditor,SusanMoldow,andherstaff,NancyPeskeandWendySilbert,fortheirveryconscientiousworkonthisbook.Iwouldespeciallyliketothankmyclientswhotriedoutthesetechniquesandgavemetheirinvaluablefeedback.Finally,Iwouldliketothankmyhusband,John,forhiscomputerwork,hisfeedbackonthemanuscript;andhissupport.
Someoftheexercisesinthisbookinvolveorgasm.Havinganorgasmincreasesyourheartrate.Ifyouhaveaheartconditionoranyotherseriousmedicalcondition,pleaseconsultyourphysicianbeforebeginningthisoranyotherexerciseprogram.
CHAPTER1
MakingFantasyaReality
Everywomandreamsofbeingwithaloverwhosepassionissointenseandbodyissostrongthathecanlastandlastandlast.Everymanwantstobeabletofulfillthosedreams.Hewantstoknowthathecanhaveintercourseforaslongashewishes,bringinghispartnertoclimaxafterclimax.Itcertainlysoundswonderful,butisitpossible?
Youareabouttolearnthesecretsofmalemultipleorgasm.Bythetimeyouhavecompletedthisbook,yourunderstandingofsexualpotentialandsexualpowerwillbechangedforever.Youwilllearnhowtoprolonglovemakingforaslongasyouandyourpartnerdesire.Menwilllearnhowtomastertheirownbodies.Theywilllearnhowtohavecomplete,powerfulorgasmswithoutlosingtheirerections,andhowtohavemultipleorgasms-two,three,orevenmore-justlikeawoman.
Iknowthatthismaybehardtobelieve.It'shardtoimaginethatsuchsexualpowerscouldexistforanyone.Maybeforatwentyyear-oldwithunlimitedenergyorsomeyogiwithextraordinaryabilities,ormaybeatthebeginningofatorridloveaffair,ifyoushouldbesolucky.Butnotforyouraverageguy.No,formostnormalmenwithnormalsexualequipment,itseemslikemakingloveallnightwheneveryouwant–nomatterhowlongyou'vebeenmarriedorhowoldyouare–isafantasy.Untiltoday.Today,everythingisgoingtochange;today,thosefantasiesaregoingtocometrue.
-2-
HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-3-Inthisbook,I'mgoingtoteachmenhowtoexploreandenjoytheirsexualityinwaystheymaynothavebelievedpossible.I'mgoingtoprovetoyouthatmalemultipleorgasmisnotjustpartofsomeromancewriter'simagination,butaneasilyattainablereality.Youaregoingtodiscoverhowamultiorgasmicmancanofferhispartneralevelofpleasureandfulfillmentmoreintensethaneitheroneofthemcouldhaveeverhopedfor.
Theabilitytocontrolone'spenis–toliterallystayupallnight-isnottheexclusivedomainofEasternmasters.Thereareplentyofmenwhohavealreadylearnedtocontroltheirerectionsinwaysyouwouldfindhardtoimagine.Thesemencanhavemultipleorgasmswithoutlosingtheirerections(twoorgasms,threeorgasms,orevenmoreiftheychoose).Theydrivetheirwomenwildhourafterhour,nightafternight.They'redoingitrightnow–andthey'llstillbedoingitlongafteryou'vegonetosleep.
Thesemenarenotsexualsupermen.Theyarenormal,averageguys.Someareyoung,someareold,somearetall,somearesmall,somearethin,someareoverweight,somearebashful,andsomearebold.Somehavelargepenises,somehavesmallpenises,somehavethickpenises,andsomehaveslenderpenises.Somehavesexonceaweek,andsomehavesexalmosteveryday.Theonlythingthesemenallhaveincommonisthedesiretopleasethemselvesandpleasuretheirpartners,andthedisciplinetomasterasimpletechnique.
Iknowovertwohundredofthesemenpersonally.Theyarenotfriendsorlovers,buttheyaremenwhohavelearnedthesecretsofmalemultipleorgasmandstayingpoweratthevarioustherapyclinicswhereIhaveworked.Overthepasttenyears,Ihavehadtheopportunitytotrainmorethanonehundredofthesemen,oneonone,fromstarttofinish.TherestaremenwhosetrainingandprogressIhavebeenatleastpartiallyinvolvedwiththroughmyclinicalwork.
WhatI'mtryingtosay,withoutsoundingintimidatingorotherwiseoff-putting,isthatIhaveseenmanymenbecomemultiorgasmicandincreasetheirstayingpower.Andthereissomethingextremelyimportantyouneedtoknowbeforeyoureadanyfurther:Ihavenevermetamotivatedmanwhocouldn'tmasterthetechniquesthatleadtomalemultipleorgasm.Never.IknowthateverymanwhoreadsthisbookandfollowstheexercisesIdescribecanmasterthesetechniquestoo.
Ifyouareawomanreadingthisbook,extraordinarysurprisesandunimaginablepleasuresawaityou.Whetheryouchoosetoworkwithyourpartnerashelearnsthesetechniques,orbeasupportivebystander,yourunderstandingofwhatitmeanstobeintimatewithamanisabouttoberedefinedforever.
Ifyouareamanreadingthisbook,youare,abouttoenterintoanewrelationship-anewandexcitingrelationshipwithyourownpenis.Youwillneverbethesame.Thepayoffsareunlimited-payoffsforyou,payoffsforyourpartner,andpayoffsforyourrelationship.BythetimeyoufinishthisbookandcompletethesimpleexercisesIdescribe,youwillbeachangedman.Afteryou'vehadyourfirstmultipleorgasm,youwon'tbelieveyouwaitedthislong,butyouwillbelieveinyourselfandinthepowerofyourownsexuality.
MakesMeSuchanExpert?WhatWhatMakesMakesMeanExpert?
Iknowmoreaboutmen'spenisesthanmostmendo.It'smyjob.I'masextherapist.
I'malsoaformersexsurrogate.Afemalesexsurrogateissomeonewhoteachesmenhowtocontrolandimprovetheirsexualperformanceandenjoytheirownsexuality.
Tobeasexsurrogateyouhavetoknowmenandyouhavetoknowmen'spenises.Truthis,youhavetoknowmen'spenisesbetterthanmostmendo.Sure,thetypicalmanknowswhathelikesanddislikes,heknowshisstrengthsandweaknesses,andhemayevenbekeenlyawareofhisfearsandwhathebelievestobehislimitations.ButfromwhereIsit,thisawarenessisverylimited.Whenyouworkwithhundredsofmen,youseethingsthatnoonemancouldeverseeforhimself.Yourecognizehoweasyitisforamantohavesexualtunnelvisionbecauseofthelimitationsofhisownexperience.Youalsorealizehowdifferentmenare,andhowmuchthereistolearnfromtheexperiencesofothermen.
WhatMenCanDoandIKnowWhatWomenWantIKnowKnowWhatWhatMenMenCanDoandKnowWhat
Ihavemadethestudyofhumansexualresponsemylife'swork.Iknowwhattheaverageman'struecapabilitiesare,andbelieveme,theyarefarmorethanyoucould–everimagine.
IknowwhatwomenwanttoobecauseI'mnotjustasextherapist–I'malsoawoman.Iunderstandhowawomanfeelswhenshe'sinbedwithsomeonesheloves.Onaprofessionalbasis,I'velistenedtocountlesswomentalkabouttheirlovemaking.ButevenmorerevealinginsomewaysarethehoursIhavespenttalkingaboutsexwithwomenfriends,allofuslettingourhairdownandtellingthetruthaboutwhatwelikeandwhatwewant.
Evenawomanwholovesamanverydeeplycanfeelfrustratedandunfulfilledbyhissexuallimitations.Unfortunately,manywomenequatesexwithcompromiseandsacrifice.Fewwomenregularlyexperiencethekindoflovemakingtheydreamof,andevenfewerbelieveit'sactuallypossible.That'sthebadnews.Thegoodnewsisthatthisisabouttochange.
Ifyouareawomanlookingformoresatisfactionfromyourpartnerandmoreunderstandingforyourself,I'm
-3-
HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-4-goingtoteachyoueverythingyouandyourpartnerneedtoknowaboutmalemultipleorgasm.Ifyouareamanwhoisreadingthisbook,Iwantyoutothinkofmeasapersonaltrainer-someonewhocanteachyouthetechniquesandexercisesthatwillchangeeverythingyouhaveeverbelievedaboutsex.
Talk?CanWeWeTalk?
Rememberthatbig"talk"youhadaboutsexwithyourdadwhenyouwerejustakid?Whocouldforgetit?Itwasprobablyoneofthemostawkwardmomentsofyourchildhood,right?Surehedidthebesthecould,butyouprobablywerelefttofillinawholelotofgapsbyyourself.Well,it'stimeforanothertalk.Thistime,youandIneedtotalkaboutsex...reallytalk.Ifyouhaveapartner,sheshouldlistentoo.I'mnotgoingtopullanypuncheshere.Whenitcomestosex,therearealotofthingsmostpeoplejustdon'tknow.I'mnottalkingaboutsexualtrivia-I'mtalkingaboutthecriticalthingsthatstopmostpeoplefromeverhavingatrulyfulfillingsexlife.
Pleasedon'tgetinsulted.Iknowthatyouknowalotaboutsex.Everyonedoes,whethertheywanttoornot.Afterall,it'sasubjectthat'shardtoavoidinthenineties.TurnontheTV,plugintheradio,openabook,gotothemovies,flipthroughamagazine...whatdoyousee?Sex,sex,sex.FromHowardSterntoMelrosePlace,fromDonahuetopay-per-view,we'regettingeducatedbyosmosis.Butthatdoesn'tmeanit'saverygoodeducation.
Knowingalotaboutsexisnotthesameasbeingsexuallyfulfilled.Knowingalotaboutsexdoesn'talwayschangewhathappensinthebedroom.Nomatterhowmuchyou'veheard,read,andseen,sexcanstillfeellikethegreatestmysteryintheworld.Noonelikestofeel,insecureaboutsomethingasimportantassex,butthetruthis,atsomepointeveryonefeelsasthougheveryoneelseontheplanetismakinglovemoreoftenandmoreexquisitelythantheyare.Sometimesitfeelsasthoughallofthissexualeducationhasonlymadeusmoreunsure.
It'stimetochangeallthatandstartfillinginallofthosegapsonceandforall.Icouldn'tthinkofabetterplacetostartthanlearningaboutmalemultipleorgasm,whichwillchangeeverythingyoueverthoughtyouknewaboutsex.Infact,itwillchangeeverything.Period.ItcertainlydidformeandforthemanymenandwomenwithwhomI'veworked.I'msureitwillforyoutoo.
TwoMenWhoChangedMyUnderstandingofMaleSexualityMenWhoWhoChangedMyUnderstanding
Malemultipleorgasm.Wow!Whataconcept.I'llneverforgethowskepticalIfeltwhenIfirstheardaboutitbackin1980.Itwasmysecondweekof"basictraining"forsexualsurrogatesattheRiskin-BankerPsychotherapyCenterinTustin,California.
SextherapyisanimportantareaofspecializationatRiskin-Banker,andpartoftheirtherapeuticworkinvolvestheuseofsurrogates,bothmaleandfemale.Asitturnsout,twoofthemalesurrogateswhoworkedthereatthetimewerebothcapableofachievingmultipleorgasm.Oncertainoccasions,theyactuallyusedthesetechniquesduringworkwiththeirfemaleclients.
IfIhadn'tactuallyknownthesetwomenpersonally,Imighthaveneverbelievedsuchathingwaspossible.Sure,Iknewallaboutmultipleorgasminwomen.Butmen?Howcouldmenhavemultipleorgasms?Ihadamillionquestionsthatneededanswering.AsIlistenedtoeachofthesementalkindetailabouttheirunusualabilities,Iknewthatmyunderstandingofmalesexualitywasabouttochangeradicallyandpermanently.
Bythetimemytrainingwascomplete,IhadalltheproofofmalemultipleorgasmIeverneeded.SincethenIhavespentmostofmytimeworkinghardwithothercliniciansandclientstodevelopandperfectavarietyoftechniquesthatanymanorcouplecouldpracticeinthecomfortoftheirownhome.Today,Iwanttosharethosetechniqueswithyou.Why?BecauseIcareaboutrelationshipsandIcareaboutsex.Weneedtohavegoodsexinourrelationships.Goodsexbringsusclosertogether.Itstrengthensintimacyandcementsthebond.Itcanevensaveamarriage.Wecan'ttrytohidefromthis.Quitethecontrary-weneedtodoeverythingwecantocelebratetheimportanceofarichsexualconnection.
AreYouReadyforaChangeToo?
Isthepossibilityofatrulyexcitingsexlifethekindofnewsyou'vebeenwaitingfor,ordoesitallsoundtoogoodtobetrue?Forsomepeople,theconceptofmalemultipleorgasmseemsperfectlylogical,buttoothers,itmayseemsomewhatunnatural,orevendownrightimpossible.
Ifyou'refeelingabitskepticaloruneasyrightnow,that'snormal.Ithastobesomewhatdisconcertingtothinkwedon'tknowsuchavitalpieceofsexualinformation.Butasanygoodsextherapistwillconfirmforyou,newsexualtechniquesarebeingdevelopedallthetimeaswediscovermoreaboutourbodiesandoursexualcapabilities.Thesenewdiscoveriescanbeintimidatingatfirst,butultimatelythey'reverygoodnewsforallofus.
Sorelaxifyoucanandtrytobeasopenaspossible.Believeme,evenifyouhaveyourdoubtsrightnow,theywon'tlast.I'mnotheretoteachyoutheory,buttodeliverthegoods.Bythetimeyouhavefinishedtheexercisesinthisbook,Iknowyouwillbeabeliever,withalltheproofyoueverneedrightinyourownhands.Literally.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-5-ThataSmileIJustSaw?WasWasThat
IhopethatbynowI'vealreadymadeyousmile,orevenlaugh.Weallneedtolaughalittlebitmoreaboutsex,andIbelieveinusinghumortohelppeoplelearnaboutsex.Don'tgetmewrong–I'mnotacomedienne.IhaveaPh.D.inpsychologyandItakesexveryseriously–soyoudon'thaveto.
IlikesexandIbelieveinsex.Ithinkit'soneofthemostwonderfulthingsthatcanhappenbetweenamanandawoman.Ithinkitsvaluetoarelationshipisimmeasurable.ButIalsothinkweneedtobeabletolaughaboutsexandduringsex.Here'smybottomline:Ibelievethatsexshouldbeeasyandwonderfulandfunforeveryone.HavingsexshouldbelikegoingtoDisneyland–tonsofdifferentrides,plentytoeat,andfireworksatmidnight–onlybetterbecauseyoudon'thavetowaitonline.Doesthatsoundgoodtoyou?
AreYouReadingThisBook?WhyWhyAre
Ifyouareawomanreadingthisbook,youprobablyhaveseveralreasonsfordoingso.Becauseyouloveyourpartneralot,youcareaboutgivinghimasmuchpleasureaspossibleinbed.Youwanthimtobethebestloverhecanbe,butnotjustsohecanfulfillyourphysicalneeds.Youwanthimtofeelgoodabouthimselfinallways;youwanttobeabletotellhimthathe'safabulouslover,andhavehimknowforhimselfthatit'strue.
Butyoualsoprobablyhavesomeselfishreasonsforbeinginterestedinmalemultipleorgasm.Perhapsyou'refeelingfrustratedbecausemost,ifnotall,ofyourorgasmsarereachedthroughoralsexorclitoralstimulationwithoutpenetration.Perhapsyouwanttobeabletoknowthatyourpartnercansustainanerectionlongenoughtogiveyouthestimulationyouneedtoachieveorgasmthroughintercourse.Orperhaps,evenifyou'resatisfiedwiththequalityofyourorgasms,youwanttobeabletospendmoretimemakinglove.Maybeyousimplyfindsomuchjoyinhavingsexwithyourpartnerthatyouwanttobeabletodoitlonger.Thereisnothingwrongwithwantingtomakeyoursexlifemoreandmorewonderful.Toomanywomensettleforlessthanwhattheyreallywant,andI'mgladyou'renotoneofthem.
Ifyouareamanreadingthisbook,Iknowthatyoucareaboutmakingyourpartnerhappyinbedandaresensitivetoawoman'ssexualneeds.Youwanthertofeelfulfilledandsatisfied,andthat'sterrific.Ifyoudidn't,youwouldn'tbeinterestedinwhatIhavetosay.Perhapsyouarealreadyabletomakeloveforanextendedperiodoftime,andyou'rereadingthisbecauseyouwanttointensifyyourpleasureorwanttofindotherwaysofexpressingyoursexuality.Perhapsyouareanxiousaboutyourabilitytomaintainanerection,oryouwouldliketoexperienceagreaterintensityinyourownsexualresponse.Perhapsyouaretryingtorediscoverthemultiorgasmicabilitythatyouhadasayoungerman,orre-createanisolatedmultiorgasmicexperienceinyourpastthatleftyouwantingmore.Perhapsyouarejustcurious.
Whateveryourreasons,youareabouttodiscoverthewonderfulthingsthatbecomingmultiorgasmicdoesforaman.It'snotjustyourbodythatwillbechanging.Yoursenseofwhoyouareisgoingtochange,andsoisyoursenseofwhatyouhavetoofferawoman.Whenamanfeelsgoodabouthissexuality,hefeelsgoodabouthimself.Sexualconfidencecreatesgreaterconfidenceinmanyotherareasofaman'slife.Itstrengthensself-imageanditstrengthensself-esteem.Thisispowerfulstuff.
WhoWanttoLearnAboutMaleMultipleOrgasmFourTypicalMenMenWho
You'vealreadymetDaniel.Rightnow,I'dliketointroduceyoutofourothermen:Fred,David,Josh,andMark.Asyouwillsee,eachofthesemenhasadifferentreasonforwantingtolearnaboutmalemultipleorgasm,andeveryreasonisvalid.Maybeyouwillrecognizesomeofyourownneedsandconcernsinoneoftheirstories.Ithinkmostmenhavesomethingincommonwithatleastoneofthesefourmen.
FRED'SSTORY
Fredhasalwaysfounditveryeasytoexpresshissexuality.HeiscurrentlymarriedforthesecondtimeandheandhiswifeJanicehaveaveryactivesexlife.BecausesexisimportanttoFred,hewantstomakesureitstaysthatway.
Rightnow,heandJanicemakelovealmosteverynightandmanymorningsaswell.Fredsaysthattohimit'ssortoflikebrushinghisteeth–somethingyoudoroutinelyatregularintervalsoftheday.ButFredisbecomingworriedthathis"refractoryperiod"–thelengthoftimebetweenerections–isgettinglonger.Or,asFredputsit,"Lately,Ican'talwaysgetituptwiceaday."Fredisinterestedinfindingnewtechniquesthatwillallowhimtocontinuetospendlargeamountsoftimehavingsexwithhiswife.Janicethinksthat'saprettygoodidea.
DAVID'SSTORY
Davidhasacompletelydifferentreasonforbeinginterestedinlearningaboutmalemultipleorgasm.Heworriesthathecan'tkeepanerectionlongenoughtosatisfyhiswife,Debbie,andhe'sconcernedthatsheisnotashappyinbedasshewouldliketobe.ItseemsthatnomatterhowhardDavidtries,hecan'tsustainanerectionfor
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-6-muchlongerthanfiveminutes.Helaughswhenhereferstohimselfas"aquickie,"buthedoesn'treallythinkit'sfunny.He'swillingtotryanythingthatwillbringDebbietoorgasm,butheknowswhathiswifereallyneedsisprolongedintercourse.
Intruth,Davidneverhadmuchcontroloverhiserection,butwhenheandDebbiefirststartedsleepingtogetherhefeltsomuchdesirethatafterhereachedorgasmhewasabletohaveaseconderectionwithintenorfifteenminutes.Thesecondtime,itwaseasierforhimtoholdbackhisownorgasmandejaculation,allowinghimtoprolongintercourselongenoughforDebbietoreachorgasm.Overtime,however,Davidlostthisability,andthat'sbeenaproblemforDebbie.
Debbieagrees.Davidhasreadseveralbooksthatpromisehecanbecomeagreatloverbylearningtopresstherightspotsonawoman'sbody.ButwhenhetriesthesetechniquesonDebbie,theydon'treallyseemtobeworking.Theydon'tworkbecauseotherbooksdon'texplainthephilosophybehindthetechniques,andDavidendsup"workingon"Debbieinsteadofenjoyinghimself.
Touchingisnice,andoralsexisgreat,butDebbieneedsmoreintercoursetofeelsatisfied.Shemissesthelongsessionsoflovemaking.SometimesshefeelsthatsheisjustbeginningtogetexcitedasDavidisalreadyejaculating.Knowingthatthisisgoingtohappenmakeshernervousanduncomfortablewhenthey'rehavingintercourse.ShefeelsasthoughsheisspendingmoretimethinkingaboutDavid'serectionthansheisaboutherownpleasure.ShelovesDavidandshedoesn'twanttohurthisfeelings,soshegaspsandmoansandpretendstohaveanorgasm.Butit'snotthesame,andsheknowsit.Worsestill,heknowsit.
BothDebbieandDavidwantthesamething:sexthatispassionateandprolonged.Theywanttofeelcomfortablewiththemselvesandwitheachother.Davidwantsdesperatelytolastlongenoughtobringhiswifetoorgasmthroughintercourse.Whenhethinksofmakinglovetoher,inhisheadhecancontinueforhours.Whydoesn'tthathappeninreallife?Byusingthetechniqueofmalemultipleorgasm,itcan.
MARKJOSHANDANDMARK
Markhasyetanothersetofreasonsforwantingtolearnaboutmalemultipleorgasm.Stillayoungman,Markhasyettofindasteadypartner,andhehasanxietyabouthisabilitytoperformwellwhenhedoes.Hewantstolearnasmuchaboutsexashecansothathewillfeelmoresecureandknowledgeablewhenheiswithwomen.
JoshisonlyafewyearsolderthanMark,butheconsidershimselfveryexperiencedsexually.Hethinksofhimselfasagoodloverandbelievesthatheisabletomaintainanerectionlongenoughtosatisfyanypartner.ButJoshhasanotherconcern:heissomentallyawareof"holdingback"hisorgasmsinordertopleasethewomanhe'swiththatitkeepshimfromfullyenjoyingtheexperience.
Untilveryrecently,allofthesemenbelievedtherewasonlyonesecretinvolvedinbeingagoodlover:"learningtoplayawoman'sbodylikeaviolin."Butthathasallchangednow.Today,thesefourmenareenthusiasticandexcited,havingdiscoveredthatthereisyetanothersecretthatwillallowthemtobringpleasuretotheirpartnerswhileincreasingtheirownpleasure.
Whataboutyou?Aren'tyoutiredofthoseviolinlessonstoo?Andifyou'reawoman,aren'tyoutiredofbeingtreatedlikeastringinstrument?Areyoureadytofinallylearnsomethingthatcanreallymakeadifferenceinyoursexlife?Ithinkyouare.Ithinkyou'vebeenreadyforalong,longtime.
Sowheredowebegin?Itismyexperiencethatbeforeamancanlearntohavehisfirstmultipleorgasmheneedstolearnalittlebitmoreabouthimself.Morespecifically,heneedstodevelopanew,moresophisticatedunderstandingofthemaincharacterinthisbook:hispenis.Withthatinmind,it'stimetoturnthepageandtakeanewlookataveryoldfriend...
CHAPTER2
YourPenisMeetMeetYour
Beforewegoanyfurther,Ineedtotalktoyouaboutyourpenis.Traditionally,menareintenselypreoccupiedwithtryingtolearnthesecretofmasteringwomen'sbodies,yettheyspendsolittletimetryingtounderstandtheirown.Thetypicalmanispreparedtoburnthemidnightoilstudyingtheintricaciesofthefemaleanatomy.HewillhappilypickupaflashlightandsearchendlesslyforGspots,sunspots,oranyotherspotsthatwillhelphimbeabetterlover,yethebarelyknowshisownequipment.There'sonlyonethingwrongwiththat:youcan'tbecomemultiorgasmicifyoudon'tknowyourownpenis.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-7-APenisIsaTerribleThingtoWaste
Doyoulikeyourpenis?Areyouproudofit?Orareyourpositivefeelingsmixedwithfeelingsofembarrassment,shame,anddoubt?Don'tfeelbadiftheyare.Thetruthis,it'sararemanwhoistrulycomfortablewithhisownpenis.Whenitcomestotheirmostprivateparts,mostmenfeelextremelyself-consciousandextremelyvulnerable.
Weneedtochangethat.Why?Becauseapositiveattitudeaboutyourownbodyisgoingtosetthestageforaradicalchangeinyoursexualpower.Everymanneedstounderstandthefollowingfact:thesecrettobeingagoodloverliesnotwithinawoman'sbody,butwithinhisown.Anymancanbecomeaphenomenalloverifheunderstandsthathisgreatestsexualpowerliesinhisabilitytounderstandandcontrolhisownpenis.
Ifyouwanttobecomeasexualvirtuoso,thefirstthingyouneedtodoismasteryourownpenis.Everythingelsewillfollowveryquicklyfromthere.Toignorethepowerofyourownpenisistowasteyourgreatestasset,andthat'sashame.
HavingSexwithaStranger?Aren'tYouTiredofofHaving
Youhaveknownyourpenisallyourlife.Youhaveknownyourpenislongerthanyouhaveknownyourpartner,yourboss,yourbestfriend,oryourtrustydogSpuds.Yet,forallthetimeyou'vebeentogether,youbarelyknowitatall.Eventhoughyouprobablytakeagoodlookatyourequipmenteverysingleday,therealpotentialofyourownpenishascontinuedtoeludeyou.
Whenwasthelasttimeyouspentanyqualitytimewithyourpenis?Whenwasthelasttimeyoutwohadarealheart-to-heart?I'dguessyouwereprobablyelevenortwelveyearsoldatthetime.Chancesarethatbackthenyouwerefascinatedwithyourownequipment.Itdidn'tseemliketherewasenoughtimeinthedayforthetwoofyoutogettoknowoneanother.Butonceyouhadyourfirstfeworgasms,thatprobablystartedtochange.Onceyoudiscoveredwhatfeltgoodtoyouatthetime,yourcuriositybegantowane.Youfoundaformulathatworked,youstuckwithit,andthatwasthat.
Evenifyouweretemptedtoexperimentovertheyears,yourattemptswereprobablymorefrustratingthanfulfilling.Alackofhelpfulinformationandanabundanceofmisinformationcouldonlydiscourageyournaturalinterest.Livinginaworldwithsolittletoofferyou,youdidthebestyoucould.Youmadepeacewithyourpenisandforgedaworkingrelationshipthatcontinuestothisday.Sure,youmighthavetriedsomethingnewonceinagreatwhilewhenyoumetanewpartnerorwhenyougotalittlebored,butchancesarethatten,twenty-five,orevenfiftyyearslater,you'redoingprettymuchthesamethingthatyoudidasaneleven-year-old.
Butyou'renotelevenanymore.You'vegrownupandyourbodyhasgrownup.Yourneedshavechanged,andnowyouhaveapartnerwhoalsohasneeds.Don'tyouthinkit'stimetodevelopanadultunderstandingofyourownequipment?Don'tyouthinkit'stimetoexpanduponthemindsetofthatenthusiasticbutnaiveeleven-yearoldandgetexcitedagainaboutyoursexualpotentialasaman?
YourPenisHaveaMindofItsOwn?DoesDoesYourofIts
Inthischapter,I'mgoingtohelpyoutakethefirststeptowardbecomingmoreintimatewithyourpenis.Youaregoingtorealize,probablyforthefirsttime,howyoucangaincontrolofyourownequipment.Thisisabigswitchforanymanwhobelievesitishispenisthatisalwaysatthehelm.
Mentypicallytreattheirpenisesasthoughtheywereseparate,disconnectedobjectswithbrainsoftheirown.Theysaythingslike,"Don'ttalktome...talktohim.Hedidit."Theygivetheirpenisesnameslike"LittleRobert,""BigJim,""CaptainFantastic,"or"Mr.Doozy."Ihavetoadmit,thisreallymakesmelaughbecausewomenaresodifferent.Howmanywomendoyouknowwhohavepetnamesfortheirvaginas?Howmanytimesdoyouhearwomenaffectionatelyrefertotheirgenitalsusingnameslike"MissLucy"or"TheCannibal"?Youdon'thearwomensayingthingslike,"IguesslittleBethdowntheredoesn'twanttocomeouttoplaytoday."
Therearelotsofpossiblereasonswhymentreattheirpenisesinthisdisconnectedfashion.Nodoubt,therearesomemenwhosplitthemselvesofffromtheirpenisesbecausetheydon'twanttotakeresponsibilityfortheirownsexualityortheconsequencesoftheirownsexualbehavior.It'sagreatwaytojustifybeingcarelessorinsensitive.Ithinkevenmoremendistancethemselvesfromtheirgenitalsbecausetheyhaveproblemsdealingwiththefrustrationofbeingunabletocontroltheirbodies.Thismakesanyperceivedsexualfailuresorperceivedshortcomingseasiertotolerate.
Becausethepenisisphysicallyexternalized-hangingoutthere,sotospeak–itismoreopentoscrutiny.Ifawomanfailstogetaroused,onlysheknowsforsure.Shemaynotbehappyaboutit,butyouwon'treadaboutitinthetabloids.Notsoforaman.Ifapenisisn'tdoingwhatit'ssupposedtodo,everyoneintheroomknowsit.Ifamanishavingdifficulties,theevidenceisoutthereintheopenforalltosee.Eventhosesatellitesinouterspacethatphotographlicenseplatesaregoingtorecognizeapenisthatisn'tdoingitsjob.That'salotofpressure–toomuchpressurefortheaverageman.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-8-
FriendYourNewBestBestFriend
Itmaybeeasiertothinkyourpenishasitsownpersonality,butadisconnectedattitudelikethisultimatelywillnotserveyouwell.Itmayspareyousomeanxietyanddiscomfort,butitalsorobsyouofmuchofyourpleasure.
Yourpenisisnotaseparateentitysublettingspaceinyourunderwear.Itisnotthatnoisytenantdownstairswhokeepsyouawakeallnightlong.Don'ttreatitthatway.Yourpenisisanimportantpartofyou;it'ssometimesthemosthonestpartofyou.Whenyou'rescared,yourpenisshowsit.Whenyou'reexcited,yourpenisshowsit.Whenyou'redepressed;yourpenisknowsit,anditbehavesaccordingly.Youcanfoolsomeofthepeoplesomeofthetime,butyoucan'tfoolyourownpenis.Thetwoofyouaretotallyconnected,andyouwillbefortherestofyourlife.Nowthat'snostranger,isit?
Itellmen:Embraceyourpenis!Putoutthewelcomemat.Openadialogue.Letitknowit'sapartofyouandletitknowyoucare.It'stimetobringyourpenisinfromthecold.Thesooneryoudo,thesooneryoursexualitywillstarttochange.Nowhere'sthebestnews.Ifyoulikeyourpenis,yourpartnerisgoingtolikeyourpenis.Ifyou'reproudofyourpenis,yourpartnerisgoingtobeproudofyourpenis.Ifyouembraceyourpenis,yourpartnerisgoingtoembraceyourpenis.Soundgood?Ithoughtitwould.
WhoControlsHisPenisAManinDemandAManManWhoManin
Inmyexperience,therearetwokindsofmenintheworld:menwhocontroltheirpenisesandmenwhoarecontrolledbytheirpenises.Amanwhocannotcontrolhispenisisamanwholivesinfear.Hefearshavinghisinadequacydiscovered,notbeingabletohaveasatisfyingsexlife,andnotbeingabletofulfillthewomanheloves.
Forallofus–maleandfemale–thesinglegreatestobstacletosexualpleasureisfearofourownequipment.Mygoalistobegindismantlingsomeofthatfear.Ahealthierrelationshipwithone'speniscandissolvemanycommonperformanceanxietiesbygivingamanatruesenseofcontroloverhisownfunctioning.
Sexualperformanceisnotamysteryorsomethingtobefeared.Sexualfunctioningisaphysiologicalprocess,justlikebreathingorsleeping-itjustfeelsbetter.Likemostotherphysiologicalprocesses,yoursexualperformancecanbeunderstood,altered,andimproved.Andthat'sexactlywhatyouaregoingtodo,startingtoday.
ImportantAnatomyLessonAnAnImportant
Everybodyknowsthatthepenisisnotamuscle.Ifitwas,you'dprobablybeatthegymrightnow.Whatmostpeopledon'tknowisthatthereisamusclethatplaysacrucialroleinthefunctioningofthepenis:thepubococcygeusmuscle(pyoo-bo-cocksee-gee-us).Saythatfivetimesfast.
Thepubococcygeusmuscle–orPCmuscle,forshort–isactuallyagroupofmusclesthatrunfromthepubicbonetothetailbone.Now,youmayalreadyknowthismuscleinadifferentway.ThePCmuscleisthemuscleyouusetostoptheflowofurinefromthebladder.Itisalsothemusclethatcontractswhenyouejaculate,movingthesemenupthroughthepenisandoutofthebody.
ThePCmuscleisabusylittlemuscle.Butletmetellyou,asfarasmostmenareconcerned,itisstillgrosslyunderemployed.Don'tyouworry–we'regoingtochangeallthatverysoon.MalemultipleorgasmdependsonastrongPCmuscle.ThePCmuscleisthekeytopenilereformation.It'syourtickettothebigleagues...yourwaytothetop.MostofthetechniquesyouwilllearninlaterchapterscannotbedonewithoutPCpower.That'swhythefirstsetofexercisesIintroduceinthisbookisdesignedspecificallyto"prep"thePCmuscle.Theseexercises,foundinchapter4,arecrucialandmustbedonefirst.Theycannotbeskippedandtheycannotbetakenlightly.Sodon'tskipthem,anddon'ttakethemlightly.Please.
tothePCPowerPowerto
Nowyoumaybethinking,"I'mnoteighteenanymore.Mypenisdoesn'tfunctionlikethepenisofayoungerman,exerciseornoexercise."Listentome.Itdoesn'tmatterhowoldoryoungyouare.Isaneighteen-year-oldtooyoungtogotothegymtostrengthenhisbiceps?Isasixty-year-oldtoooldtowalkthreemilesadaytostrengthenhisheart?Ofcoursenot.Amusclecanbestrengthenedatanyage.Strengtheningexerciseslikethesealsoleadtobetterhealthandabettersenseofwell-being,nottomentionimprovedself-esteem.
Thepenisisnodifferent.ThePCmuscleisamuscle,plainandsimple.Itworksandrespondslikeanyothermuscle,anditcanbestrengthenedlikeanyothermuscle.AndI'veneverseenamusclethathadagreaterimpactonaman'sself-esteem.
JustaFewMinutesaDay
Masteringthetechniquesofmalemultipleorgasmisasnaponceyouare"PC-ready."AndpreppingyourPC-gettingitcombat-ready-issimple.Butyoumustbewillingtostickwiththeprogram.That'swhyrightnowI'mgoingtoaskyouforacommitment.
Iknowhowscarythewordcommitmentcanbetosomeguys,butthisisonecommitmentyou'llneverregret.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-9-EverymanwhoiswillingtodotheworkcanbringhisPCmuscletoastateofreadinesswithintwotothreeweeks.Oftenittakesevenlessthanthat.Allyouneedisafewminutesadaytoworktheprogram.That'sright...justafewminutesaday.That'sawholelotlesstimethanyouprobablyspendinthegymrightnowworkingoneverymuscleinyourbodybuttheonethatreallycounts.
Iknowyoucandoit.Allyouneedtodoisstaycommittedtotheprocess.Remember,yourabilitytomasterthesecretsofmultipleorgasmdependsonastrongPCmuscle.Sowarmupthosecoldfeetandsayyestoacommitmentthatisboundtochangeyourlife.
Ready,GetSet...GetGetReady,Ready,GetGetSet...
We'realmostreadytostart.There'sjustonemorepieceofveryimportantbusinessweneedtotakecareof.Withindaysofstartingtheexerciseregimeninthisbookyouaregoingtofeelverydifferent,andthat'sgoingtofeelverygood.Butyouarenottheonlyonewhoisgoingtobefeelingdifferent.Ifyouhaveapartner,yourlovingpartnerisgoingtobeprofoundlyaffectedbyallofthechangesabouttotakeplaceinyourbodyandinyourhead.Youneedtoattendtothat,andyouneedtodothatrightnow.
Iknowthatyou'reprobablyfeelingveryexcitedaboutgettingstarted.Butit'simportanttomakesurethatyourpartnersharesyourenthusiasm.That'swhy,beforeIpresentanyoftheexercises,Imustaskthatyouandyourpartnersitdownandhaveaserioustalkaboutthemanyramificationsofthejourneyyouarebothabouttotake...CHAPTER3
MultipleOrgasmTalkingtoYourPartnerAboutMaleMaleMultiple
Makinglovetoamultiorgasmicmanisnotbusinessasusual.Theintensityofresponsesandperformanceabilitiescanbequitestartlingtoawomanwhoisusedtoaone-orgasmguy.
I'mnotabigbelieverinsurpriseswhenitcomestosex.Ifthereisawomaninyourliferightnow,weneedtomakesurethatsheiseverybitaspreparedandeverybitascommittedtotheprocessasyouare.Sexdoesn'thappeninavacuum.Ithappensbetweentwopeople.Yourneedsareimportant,buttheneedsofthecouplecomefirst.
YouwillnoticethroughoutthebookthatIhaveincludedguidelinesforapartnerinmostoftheexercises.Hopefully,yourpartnerwillwanttofollowthosesuggestionsandtakeanactiveroleinyourdevelopment.Ormaybeshe'dratherjustwaitonthesidelinesandreapthebenefitsattheend.That'sfinetoo.It'suptobothofyoutodecidewhatyou'remostcomfortablewith.Buteitherway,yourpartnerneedstoknowwhat'sgoingonandyouneedtoknowthatyouhavehersupport.Imakesurethatallofmyclientshavetalkedtotheirpartnersbeforetheylearnanyofthesetechniques,andImustaskyoutodothesamething.Thisconversationshouldnotbetakenlightlyorgivenshortshrift.Alotofchangesareabouttotakeplace.Yourattitudetowardsexisabouttochange.Yourattitudetowardyourselfisabouttochange.Soareyourabilities,yourphysiology,andyourlevelofdesire.Yourpartnerhasgotalottoreckonwith.
Ifthesechangesarenotdiscussedinadvance,youreffortscouldbackfire.Ifyoutrytokeepthewholethingasecret,yourpartnercouldfeelveryleftout.Shemightgetconfused,orinsecure,orevenangry.Ifshe'susedtoOldFaithful,anykindofradicalchangecouldbequitedisconcerting.Shemightevenfearthatyouarehavinganaffairandlearningthingsfromsomeotherwoman.
Youarelearningthingsfromanotherwoman,butthiswomanisaprofessionalsextherapistwhoseonlyinterestinyouisthatyoulearntechniquestoenhanceyourrelationshipwithyourpartner.Thepurposeoflearningtobecomemultiorgasmicistobringyouandyourpartnerclosertogether.Itissupposedtoimproveyourrelationship,notthreatenit.Youwantyourtransformationtoigniteyourpartner,notscareher.That'swhyIwantyoutwotohaveaconversation,andIwantyoutohaveitassoonaspossibleafteryouhavefinishedreadingthisbookforthefirsttime.
Talktoyourpartner.Tellherwhatyou'reupto,anddon'twithholdanything.Giveherasmuchinformationaspossible.Letherknowwhythisisimportanttoyou.Tellherwhatyourgoalsare,beingsuretoexplainthebenefitsyoucanforeseefortherelationship.Itisveryimportantthatsheknowsyouaredoingthisforbothofyou.Finally,tellherhowimportantitisforyoutohavehersupport.
MultipleOrgasmShouldBringaCoupleTogetherMaleMaleMultiple
Somewomenwanttomakeloveforhoursatatime,whereassomearehappiestwhenit'sshortandsimple.Thetypicalwomanhasdifferentneedsanddesiresondifferentdays.Whataboutyourpartner?Whatdoesshelike,what
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-10-doesshewant,andhowmightherneedsvaryfromdaytodayandweektoweek?Youneedtoknowthisinformation,andyourconversationaboutembarkingonthisprogramisanidealtimetofindout.Frankly,it'stheonlywaybothofyouwillfullybenefitfromyournewfoundtalents.Otherwise,youmaybedoingallkindsofthingsthatyourpartnersimplyisn'tinterestedin.
Don'tgetmewrong.Yourneedsareimportant.Butyoumustalwaysrememberthatyourpartner'sneedsareequallyimportant.Thereisnothingmoreunpleasantthanamanwhoisjustdoinghisthing,oblivioustowhatthewomanreallywants.Beingagreatlovermeansmorethanjusttuningintoyourownbody.Beingagreatlovermeanstuningintoyourpartner'sbodytoo,andevenmoreimportant,itmeanstuningintohermind.
Thebeautyofbeingmultiorgasmicisthatitgivesyouthekindofsexualflexibilityyou'veneverexperiencedbefore.Forthefirsttime,youcangettremendouspleasurewithoutsacrificinganyofyourpartner'sneeds.Yourexperiencewillbemuchmoreintense,butyou'realsogoingtohelpmakehersmoreintense.You'redoingwonderfulthingsforyourself,butyoualsocanattendtoherinwaysyounevercouldbefore.Noonehastomakehugecompromisesorbeshortchanged.
Ihaveheardwomencomplainaboutinsensitivemenwhoseemuninterestedinwhatawomanreallyneedsormenwhocouldn'tgothedistance.ButImusttellyou,Ihaveneverheardawomancomplainaboutamanwhocouldofferherwhatevershedesired.
Whenyouandyourpartnerhaveyourtalk,itisveryimportanttotalkaboutyourneeds,butitisprobablyevenmoreimportanttotalkaboutherneeds.Lethertellyouwhatshewantsandwhatshedoesn'twant.Doesanythingmakeheruncomfortable?Isthereanythingshefears?Listencarefullytoheranswers,anddon'tassumeanything.Youmaybesurprisedtodiscoverthatyouknowlessaboutyourpartnerthanyouthink.Thisisawonderfulopportunitytoexpressyourcaringanddevelopmorecloseness,andIencourageyoutotakeadvantageofit.
Ifyourpartnerhasalotofquestionsaboutherspecificroleinyour"training,"readingthroughthebookshouldgivehertheanswerssheislookingfor.Asyoureadthrougheachpartnerexercise(someexercisesdonotrequireapartner),youwillnotethatboththeman'sroleandthewoman'srolearealwaysclearlyaddressed.Ihighlyrecommendthatbothpartnersreadthebook,evenifthewomanisnotgoingtoparticipateinanyoftheexercises.
Everywomanisdifferent,andthereisnowayIcanpredicthowyourpartnerisgoingtorespondtoeverythingIpresentinthisbook.Personally,Ihopeshewantstomakethisajointventure,sotospeak.IsaythisbecauseIknowfromexperiencethatwhenawomangetsinvolvedintheprocessitmakeseverythingalotmoreexcitingforbothpartners.But,asIsaidbefore,itisn'tnecessaryforawomantohelphermanlearnthesenewtechniques;sheonlyneedstobethereatthefinishlinewithabigsmileonherface.
DidYourPartnerGiveYouThisBook?
Ifyourpartnergaveyouthisbook,yourinterestinmalemultipleorgasmwillnotbeasurprisetoher.Youprobablyalreadyknowthatitisimportanttoherthatyouimproveyourabilitytoprolongintercourse.Butthatdoesn'tmeanthatthetwoofyoudon'tneedtotalkaboutit.
Myonerulehereis:Don'tassumeanything.Manyoftheissuesintheprecedingpagesstillneedtobeaddressed.Inaddition,it'simportantforyoutoknowwhatherexpectationsare,andtomakesurethattheyarerealistic.
Ifyoufeelpressuredinanyway,it'simportanttocommunicatethisimmediatelytoyourpartner.Evenifyou'reamultiorgasmicman,performancepressurealmostinvariablyinterfereswithsexualfunctioning,andthatissomethingyoudonotwanttohappen.AsIsaidbefore,theentirepurposeofthesetechniquesistobringthetwoofyouclosertogether,notdriveyouapart.
ReadingThisBookTotheWomenWomenReading
Canwetalkforamoment,womantowoman?Ifthere'sonethingthatstopswomenfromgettingexcitedabouttheexercisesinthisbookorgettinginvolved,it'sthefearthatthewholeprocessisgoingtobetoomechanical.Afterall,howcanabunchofexercisesbesexy?Somewomenfeeluncomfortableaboutthewholeideaofmalemultipleorgasm.Insteadoflookingforwardtoarichersexualrelationship,theyfearthatthesetechniquesaregoingtoturntheirstudintoamechanicalbull.
Ineedtodispeltheseconcernsrightnow.Althoughdoingexerciseswithapartnerdoesn'tsoundverysexyorverypassionate,thetechniquesIamgoingtoteachyouunleashalevelofpassionanddesirefewcoupleseverexperience.Theseexercisestakeamanintohisbody,notawayfromit.Evenmoreimportant,theytakeamanintoyourbody,notawayfromit.Itisverysexystuff.Nolongerfeelingburdenedbyhisanxietiesorlimitations,youwillbothbefreetoexperienceeachotherwithfargreaterintensitythaneverbefore.Nowthatdoesn'tsoundsobad,doesit?
There'soneotherthingwewomenneedtotalkabout.Asyoureadthroughtheexercisesinthisbook,you'regoingtonoticeprettyquicklythatthevastmajorityofinstructionsaredirectedtowardthemalereader.Thismight
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-11-makeyoufeelalittlebitleftout,evenifyou'rejoininginformostoftheexercises.Sinceitisthemanwhoislearningtobecomemultiorgasmichereandhasmostoftheworktodo,herequiresthemostinstruction.I'msureyoucanseethelogicinthat.ButIdon'twantanyonetofeelleftoutjustbecausetheonewiththepenishasthetougherjobthistime.
Rememberthatallofthisisbeingdoneforyou.Yourpartnerislearningthistoincreaseyourpleasureandbecausehecaresaboutyou.Youarethesinglemostimportantmotivationforhisprocess.Period.Butyouarenotapassiveobserverofhisprocess,oraflexiblelovedollwhoseonlypurposeistogiveyourpartnerafemaleformonwhichtopractice.Youhaveareallyimportantjobhere,andImeanthatquitesincerely.
Youcanmakeorbreaktheseexercisesforyourpartnerbecausetheseareyourexercisestoo.Yourpleasureshouldneverbecompromisedforhispleasureandyourneedsshouldneverbecompromisedforhisneeds.Thewonderfulthingaboutlearningtheseexercisesisthatit'sanincrediblysensual,excitingexperienceforbothpartners.Ifitisn't,somethingiswrong,andyouneedtobackupforamomentandconsiderwhereyourexperiencegotcompromised.
EverymanIteachsaysthesamething:thekeyingredienttolearningtheseexercisesisanenthusiasticpartner.Awoman'sexcitementiscontagious.Itisthebiggestturn–onamancouldaskfor.AsI'msureyouallknowfromexperience,apassivepartnerisdeadlyinanyeroticencounter,andthiseroticexerciseregimenisnoexception.Ifthewomanisn'treallyexcitedaboutdoingthiswithherpartner,sheshouldn'tbedoingit.It'sthatsimple.
Thisisnotoneofthosethingsyoudoforhim,eventhoughyoureallydon'twantto.Whenitcomestosex,itnevermakessensetodoanythingforhimifyou'renotenjoyingittoo.Thereshouldneverbeanysufferinginasexualrelationship;thereshouldonlybepleasureandpassion.Ifthatsoundstrite,forgiveme,butit'strue.
Peoplewhomakebigcompromisesintheirsexualrelationshipsareunhappy,andtherelationshipasawholealwayssuffers.ThatissomethingIdonotwanttoencourage.Ionlywanttomakeyourrelationshipbetter,butIneedyourhelpandyourtrusttodoit.Ifyouhonestlywanttobeapartofthisexcitingprocess,thereisplentyforanywomantodo.Buttheveryfirstthingyouneedtodoisletyourselfhaveawonderfultime.Don'tworryabouthim-he'lltakecareofhimself.Justmakesureyouarealwaysgettingthemostoutofeveryexperience.Asyoudoeachexercise,thinkabouthowyoumightbenefitthemost.Makecreativesuggestionsifyouwish,andbringyourownpersonalityintotheprocess.He'lllovethat.
Ifyouaregoingtoparticipateintheseexercises,payverycloseattentiontoyourpartner.Readthrougheachexercisetogetherbeforeyoubeginsoyouknowwhattoexpect.Thentrytoreallyfocusonyourpartner'sexperienceinadditiontofocusingonyourown.Trytofeelhisarousalasitrisesandfalls.Movethewayhemoves.Breathethewayhebreathes.Whenheopenshiseyes,openyoureyes.Ifhemoans,moanwithhim.Ifhefallsasleep...ifhefallsasleep,pokehim.Communicateasmuchaspossibleduringeachexercise.Ifthetwoofyoustayreallyconnected,youaregoingtofeelmostofwhatheisgoingthrough,andit'sgoingtobeincredibleforyoutoo.Whentwoexcitedpartnersaredeeplyconnectedtoeachother,itmakesforonehellofanamazingafternoon.
Ineedtoaskyouwomenonefinalfavor.Thereareafewcrucialmomentsincertainexerciseswhenthemanisinstructedtostopmoving.Itisveryimportantthatthewomanstopwithhim.Toomuchfrictionatthewrongmomentmightfeelgreat,butitwillprobablyendtheexerciseprematurely,ifyouknowwhatImean.Iknowit'sgoingtogetprettyexciting,andIknowthatsometimesit'sreallyhardtosuddenlystopwhatyouaredoing,butwhatyouwillquicklydiscoveristhatifyoustopatthenecessarymoments,the,payofflateronwillbeevenbigger.So,keepingmyonerequestinmind,gooutthereandhaveyourselfagreattime.
toUsetheRestofThisBookHowHowto
Alloftheexercisesinthisbookhavebeenorganizedandpresentedwithonegoalinmind:toturneverysinglemanwhoisreadingthisbookintoamultiorgasmicman.Everyexerciseisextremelyimportant.Eachservesaveryspecificpurpose,andtheorderhasbeencarefullychosentomakethisstep-by-steplearningprocessassimpleaspossible.Thoughyouwillnotactuallyhavetocompleteeveryexerciseinthisbook,Ithinkit'sagoodideatoreadthroughallofthem.
Youwillnoticelateronthatmanyoftheexercisesinthisbookarepaired.Ineachpair,oneexerciseisdesignedforthemanwhoisworkingwithapartnerandoneisforthemanwhochoosestoworkalone.Theexercisesarelabeledeither"withapartner"or"solo"tomakethatclear.
InsomecasesIhavepresentedthesoloexercisefirstandinothercasesIhavepresentedthepartnerexercisefirst.Thisisbecausesomeexerciseslendthemselvesmorenaturallytobeingtriedfirstwithapartnerwhereasotherslendthemselvesmorenaturallytobeingtriedfirstalone.Butthereisnorightorwrongchoicehere,andIwouldnotwanttogivethatimpression.Bothexercisesineachpairaretotallyvalid,anditisuptoyoutochoosetheoneyouprefer.
Itismyexperiencethatmostmenprefertomixitupalittlebit,learningsometechniqueswiththeirpartnersandlearningothersbythemselves.That'sperfectlyokay.Youcanalternateanywayyouwish.Youcanevenpractice
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-12-bothexercisesinagivenpairifyouwantto,butitisnotarequirement.
onlytwoguidelinesaskyoutofollow:Thereareareonly
GUIDELINE1:Alwaysdoatleastoneofthetwoexercisesineachpair.Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoudothepartnerexerciseorthesoloexercise,butyoumustdooneofthem.
GUIDELINE2:Pleasedotheexercisesintheorderinwhichtheyarepresented.Theexercisesbuildoneachother,andyoumaygetveryfrustratedifyoutrytoskiparound.
Theeasiestwaytodotheseexercisesistoreadthrougheachonebeforeyoubegin.Ifyouareworkingonapartnerexercise,bothofyoushouldreadthroughtheexercisethoroughly.Discusstheexerciseafteryouhavereadit.AsIjustexplainedtothewomenreadingthisbook,bothpartnersneedtounderstandtheirrolesineachexercise.
Ifeitherofyouhasanydoubts,flushthemoutbeforeyougetstarted.Keepthatlineofcommunicationopenandclear.Themoreyoutalknow,thefewercomplicationsyou'llhaveoncethelightsaredimmed.Paceyourselves.Don'ttrytogothrougheveryexerciseinalongweekend.Giveyourselvesweeks,orevenmonths,towanderthroughtheprogram.Learningtobemultiorgasmicisn'tanythinglikelearningtoplaytheviolin.Thisprocessisgoingtobepleasurablefromstarttofinish.You'renotgoingtohavetowaituntilyougettoCarnegieHallbeforeyoustartenjoyingyourself.Themostimportantthingisthatyoutakeyourtimeandkeepthepressureoff.
KeepYourSexSafe!
Asyoureadthroughtheexercisesinthisbook,youwillnoticethatIhavenotspecificallyincorporatedsafesexpracticesintotheindividualexercises.That'sbecauseIhavewrittenthisbookprimarilyforcommitted,monogamouscoupleswhoknoweachothertobesafefromsexualrisk.
Idon'twanttosoundpreachyhere,butlearningthesetechniqueswithintheboundariesofacommittedrelationshipisnotonlysaferbutmoregratifying.YetIrealizethatnotallreadersarecurrentlyinsucharelationship.Ifyouarenotinacommitted,monogamousrelationshipyetwishtolearnthesetechniqueswithapartner,itiscrucialthatyoupracticesafesexduringeverysingleexercise.Condomsmustbeused,evenifyouarenothavingintercourse!
Whileitistruethatcondomstendtodesensitizethepenissomewhat,theydonotprohibitmasteryofanyofthetechniquesinthebook.Manyofmyclientshaveusedcondomsthroughoutthetrainingprocesswithcompletesatisfaction,andthemajorityhavetoldmethatthecondomsdidnotinterfereatall.Ifyouusecondomsasastandardbirthcontrolpractice,Ialsorecommendusingtheminallofyourexercises.
CHAPTER4
WorkoutTheCompletePCPCWorkout
I'mabigbelieverinforeplay,butenoughisenough.It'stimetogetstarted.Inthischapteryouaregoingtolearnthefirstsetofsimpleexercisesthatwillsetthestagefortakingcontrolofyoursexualitythewayyouhavealwaysimagined.Masteringthemisthecrucialfirststeponthepathtoalifetimeofpleasureandpowerasamultiorgasmicmale.Thefollowingthreeexercisesarethemostimportantexercisesinthebook.Pleasetakethemveryseriously.Itisimportanttotakeyourtime,followmyinstructionscarefully,andtrytobeverythorough.
Unlikemanyoftheexercisesthatfollow,thisfirstsetofexercisesismosteasilyaccomplishedonyourown.Ifyouhaveapartnerwhoiswaitingtoworkwithyou,letherknowyou'llbereadyforhersoon.Youjustneedtoprepareafewthings.Thisshouldheightenheranticipationandmakeherallthemoreenthusiasticwhenit'stimeforhertojoinin.
So...letthegamesbegin.Enjoyyourself!Anddon'tforget:PCpowerisultimatepower.
Exercise1:HideandSeek
TheveryfirstthingyouneedtodoisfindyourPCmuscle.Forsomementhisisverysimple–youprobablyknewwheretofinditthemomentImentionedit.Youmayevenbesqueezingitrightnow.
Butmanymenarecompletelyunfamiliarwiththemusclesinthisareaofthebody.Alloftheindividualmusclesclosetothegroinbuttocks,abdomen,thighs,andPC-mayfeelthesame.Theymightallfeellikeonebigmusclemass.Thatneedstochangerightnow.HereisthesimplestwaytofindyourPCmuscleandisolateitfromalltheothers.
First,gentlyplaceoneortwofingersrightbehindyourtesticles.Pretendthatyouareurinating.Nowtrytostoptheflow.ThatmuscleyoujustusedtoturnofftheflowfromthebladderisyourPCmuscle.Didyoufeelittightening?
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-13-Maybeyoualsonoticedthatyourpenisandtesticles"jumped"alittlewhenyouflexedyourPC.
Itisveryimportantthatyourstomachmusclesandthighmusclesremainrelaxed.Didtheygettensetoo?Tryagain.ThistimefocusjustonthePC.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Youarenottryingtogetanerectionhere,andyoudonotneedanerectiontoexercisethePC.Sorelax,andletyourpenisrespondnaturallytotheseexercises.
Exercise2:SqueezePlay(threetofiveminutesaday)
Nowthatyou'vefoundyourPCmuscle,hereisyournextexercise:Threetimesaday,flexthePCtwentytimes.Holditforoneortwosecondseachtime,thenrelease.That'sit.Twentysqueezes,threetimesaday.Iknowitsoundssimple,butwordscannotexpresshowimportantthisexerciseis.
YoudonotneedtokeepyourfingeronthePCduringtheseexercises.Youshouldbeabletofeelitmoveinternally.Ifyoudon't,orifyou'renotsure,thenkeepyourfingeronthePCthefirstfewtimesyoudoyourexercises.
Breathenormallyduringthisexercise.Likeanyothermuscle-buildingexercise,properbreathingisalwaysimportant.Youdon'twanttoholdyourbreath.
Iwantyoutorepeatthisexercisethreetimesaday,everyday,forthreeweeks.AconsistentexerciseregimenisthemosteffectivewaytomaximizethestrengtheningofyourPCmuscleintheshortestamountoftime.Andit'swortheverymoment.
ROADTRIP
Iknowthissoundslikeacommercial,butthesePCexercisesareeasyandcanbedoneanywhere-inthecar,atthebeach,orwhilesittingatyourdesk.Manymentellmethathalfthefunofpreppingisbeingabletodoitinbroaddaylightinfrontofcityhallwithnofearofbeingarrestedforindecentexposure!Okay,I'mexaggerating.ButmendotellmethatpreppingthePCisalotoffun.
Nowthatyou'veisolatedyourPCmuscleandlearnedhowtosqueeze,youmightwanttotakeyouractontheroad.Doyouridethebustowork?Aperfectopportunity.Longlineatthebank?Whynot.Havinglunchalone?Notanymore.Ofcourse,youmayprefertokeepyourexerciseregimensafeathome,butyouhavemanyoptions.
PCPITFALLSTWOTWOPCPCPITFALLS
Theseexercisesarenothard,buttherearetwocommonmistakesmenmakewhentheystarttheseexercisesthatyouneedtobeawareofbeforewegoanyfurther:
MISTAKE1:Doingtoomanyreps.Iknowyou'refeelingveryenthusiasticrightnow,butthereissuchathingasoverdoingit.ThePCmusclecangetsorelikeanyothermuscle.Youmayhavealreadydiscoveredthisonyourown.Goslowatfirst,asyouwouldwhenyoustartanyotherexerciseforthefirsttime,andletthemusclebuild.Youcanpouritonlater.
MISTAKE2:FailingtoisolatethePC.ThePCisasmallgroupofmuscles,whichneedtobeisolatedfromthemanylargermusclesclosebyduringyourexercises.AsIsaidbefore,itisimportantthatyourstomach,upperthighs,andbuttocksareallcompletelyrelaxedwhenyouareworkingoutthePC.Theyshouldnotbemoving.
AreyouhavingdifficultyisolatingthePCfromothermuscles?Manymenhavethisproblemwhentheytrytheseexercisesforthefirsttime.Nottoworry.Ifyoucan'tstopyourselffromtensingothermusclesduringyourPCexercises,yousimplyneedtoexhaustthesemusclesfirstsotheydon'tinterferewithyournewexerciseregimen.
Let'ssayyouhaveatendencytotenseyourstomachmusclesduringyourPCworkout.WhatyouneedtodoistenseanduntenseyourstomachmusclesatleasttenortwentytimesbeforeyoubeginyourPCexercises.Thatshouldtirethemoutenoughsotheydon'tgetintheway.Thesameappliesforbuttock,thigh,andgroinmuscles.IfyouhavetoworkthesemusclesreallyhardbeforeyougettoworkonyourPC,that'sokay.Dothirtyorfortyrepsiftwentyisn'tenough.Thismaysoundlikealotofwork,butyou'renotgoingtohavetodothisfortherestofyourlife-justforacoupleofdays.
OnceyouhavereallyisolatedyourPC,yourmuscle"confusion"shoulddissolve,leavingyoufreetodevoteyourfullattentiontoworkingtheprogram.Withthatinmind,letusnowreturntoourregularlyscheduledprogram,alreadyinprogress.
Exercise3:TheBigSqueeze(twotothreeminutesaday)
Haveyoudoneyourrepsthreetimesadayforthelastthreeweeks?Good.Nowyou'rereadytolearnwhatIcall"TheBigSqueeze"(a.k.a."ThePowerSqueeze"or"TheDeathGrip").Iwantyoutokeepdoingyourtwentyquicksqueezes,threetimesaday.Butnowyou'regoingtoaddtenreallyslowsqueezes.Thisiswhatyoudo.TakefivesecondstoslowlysqueezeyourPCastightasyoucan.Nowholdthetensionforafullfiveseconds,ifpossible.Finally,releasethetensiongraduallyoverthenextfiveseconds.Youshouldbeabletofeelyourselfreallyworkingthemuscle.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-14-Thismightbeabitdifficultatfirst.Youmayonlybeabletodooneortwofifteen-secondsqueezesbeforeyoutire.That'sokay.Buttrytoeventuallyworkuptotenfullrepetitions,eachtakingtentofifteenseconds.Itmaytakeyouafewdays,orevenafewweeks,togetthere.That'sokay.It'smoreimportantthatyoudon'tpushyourselftoohard.You'renottrainingtobeanAmericanGladiator.Justenjoytheprocessandkeepsqueezing.
EarlyandMeetOftenMeetMeetEarly
ThePCworkoutislikeanyotherworkout.Theharderyouwork,thefasterandmoreimpressivetheresults.ThegreatthingaboutthePCisthat,unlikesomemuscles,itrespondssoquicklytobeingexercised.Nomatterhowintenseorcasualyourworkoutis,youwon'thavetospendmonthsandmonthsbeforeyounoticeadifference,Asyouwillsoonsee,thePCworkoutbringsimmediategratification.Still,youneedtobethorough.
Thereareseveralstepstobecomingmultiorgasmic,butbuildingupthePCisthecrucialfirststep.Don'tgiveitshortshrift.
Therearenodeadlineshere,noclockstopunch,andnobosstoreportto.Themostimportantthingistogetthejobdone.AreyouoneofthosepeoplewhotakesthenewVCRoutoftheboxandtriestomakeitworkwithoutreadingasinglepageoftheinstructionmanual?I'mthesameway.Butthiskindofattitudesimplywon'tworkwhenitcomestomasteringthetechniquesformalemultipleorgasm.
Mygrandmotherusedtosaytome,"Youcan'trunintheOlympicsuntilyou'velearnedtotieyoursneakers."Listentograndma.Takeitonestepatatimeandtakeyourtimeoneverystep.You'llbeatthefinishlinebeforeyouknowit,beinghuggedbyyourbiggestfan.Meanwhile,thatwillgiveussometimetotalkalittlebitmoreaboutthemiracleofmalemultipleorgasm.
CHAPTER5
MultipleOrgasm-TheSecretRevealedMaleMaleMultiple
Whatexactlyismalemultipleorgasm?Isitanythinglikearegularorgasmorisitcompletelydifferent?Isitbetterthanaregularorgasm?Isitalotofwork?Isitdifferentfromfemalemultipleorgasm?Cananymanhaveone?Questions,questions,questions.Yourheadisprobablyspinningfromallofthequestionsyouhaveatthisverymoment.Andletusnotforgetthemostimportantoneofall:Howdoyoudoit?
MultipleOrgasm:MyDefinitionMaleMaleMultipleOrgasm:MyMyDefinition
Amultiorgasmicman,quitesimply,isamanwhocanhavetwoormoreorgasmsinarowwithoutresting.Hedoesnotexperienceanysignificantdowntimebetweenhisorgasms.By"downtime,"Imeanarefractoryperiodinbetweenorgasmswhenthepenisisnoteasilyaroused.Amultiorgasmicmanisabletomaintainhiserection,eventhoughhehasalreadyhadanorgasm,andcontinuemakinglovefromorgasmtoorgasm.Unlikemost"normal"men,amultiorgasmicmandoesnotlosehisabilitytostayerectafterhisfirstorgasm.Hecancontinuetoasecondorevenathirdorfourthorgasmwithoutresting.
Thisisnotthesameashavingtwoormoreorgasmsinanafternoonoflovemakingwithperiodsofrestorbreaksinbetween.Themultiorgasmicmandoesnotneedarest.Hemightwantto,andhecertainlycan,ifheorhispartnerwishes,buthedoesn'thavetostop.Heiscapableofcontinuingtomakeloveimmediatelyafterorgasm.
ISTHISPOSSIBLE?HOWHOWISISTHIS
Therearesomemen,particularlyyoungmen,whoarejustplainlucky.Theseguysarenaturals.Theirphysiologyissuchthattheydon'tlosetheirerectionsafterorgasm,ortheyregaintheirerectionssoquicklythatintercourseisbarelyinterrupted.Menlikethisare"born"multiorgasmic.Maybetherewasatimeinyourlifewhenyouwerethisluckytoo.Butchancesare,thosedaysaregone.Well,thegoodnewsisthatyoudon'thavetobeluckyanymoretobemultiorgasmic.Thereisanotherwaytoacquirethisability,anditworksregardlessofyourage,yourexperience,oryourGod-giventalents.
Thesecrettobecomingmultiorgasmicisactuallyquitesimple.Thesecret,formostmenwhohavemasteredtheability,liesinlearningtohaveacompleteorgasmwithoutejaculating.That'sright,afull,powerfulorgasm-ortwo,orthree,ormore-withnoejaculation.Withoutejaculationthereisnorefractoryperiod–nodowntime.Thatmeansthereisnosignificantlossoferection,leavingyoufreetocontinuehavingintercourseuntilyoureachthepointwhereyouarereadytohaveanorgasmwithsimultaneousejaculation.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-15-
...AMICRAZY?ORGASMWITHOUTEJACULATION!EJACULATION!.
Now,IknowthatthismaynotsoundassimpleasIsayitis.There'sareallygoodchancethatatthismomentitallsoundsveryweird,orevenimpossible.Irealizethatasfarasmostmenareconcerned,thereisnosuchthingasanorgasmwithoutejaculation.It'sapackagedeal,likethunderandlightning,right?Wrong.Thismaybehardtobelieve,butasmostsextherapistswillconfirm,orgasmandejaculationinmalesaretwoseparatethings.Yes,theytypicallyoccurtogether,andyes,itfeelsasthoughtheyareapackagedeal.Butthephysiologicalrealityisthattheyarenotinseparable.Itispossibletohaveafullorgasmwithoutasimultaneousejaculation,andthereinliesthekeytobecomingmultiorgasmic.Learnhowtoseparatethem,andyou'reonyourway.
Iknowthatthisnewsisn'tmind-bogglingforeverymanwhoisreadingthisbookrightnow.Manymenhavestumbledontothisaccidentally.Infact,theremayalreadyhavebeenanoccasionortwoinyourlifewhenyouactuallyexperiencedthesensationsoforgasmwithouthavinganejaculation.
Atthetime,youmaynothavethoughtmuchofit,oryoumighthavefounditconfusing.Mostmenwhoexperiencethisunintentionallythinkthatit'sanaccidentorsomestrangequirk.Manyworrythatsomethingmightbewrongwiththem,butveryfewmenthinkofitasanexperienceworthrecapturing,letaloneperfecting.Ifyoudid,youprobablywouldn'tbereadingthisbookrightnow-you'dbeouttheredoingit.Butbelieveme,Iknowhundredsofmenwhowouldgladlytellyouthatanonejaculatoryorgasmisanexperienceworthrecapturingandworthperfecting.Thesemenwillalsotellyouthatifyou'veneverhadanonejaculatoryorgasm,youneedtostart.Andthat'swhatyou'regoingtodo,withmyhelp.
James,aMultiorgasmicManMeetMeetJames,
I'dliketointroduceyoutoJames,oneofseveralmultiorgasmicmenyou'llhearabout,amanwhohasbeenpracticingthesetechniquesforalmosteightyears.IwantyoutoreadJames'sstoryfirstbecausehismethodofhavingmultipleorgasmsmostcloselyresemblesthestylewefocusoninthisbook.YoumaynotnecessarilyhaveintercourseforthesamelengthoftimeasJamesdoes,butthetechniquesyouusewillnotdiffersignificantly.
WhenJamesandhispartnerSharonmakelove,hetypicallytakestenminutesormorebeforehehasanorgasm.Hestartsintercourseslowlyandletshisarousalbuild.Thentheinstantbeforeheisabouttoejaculate,hethrustsdeeplyintoSharonandsqueezesthemusclethatrunsfromthebaseofthepenistotheareabehindhistesticles.Thisallowshimtohaveafullorgasm–includingrapidheartrate,musclecontractions,andthatincrediblesensationofrelease–withoutanejaculation.
Jamesmaintainshiserection,continuestomakelove,andhastwotofourmoreorgasmsthisway.Whenhewantstostopmakinglove,hehasafinalorgasmandejaculates.Jamesisabletodothisbecausehehasachievedgoodcontrolofthepelvicmusclesthatspasmwhenamanejaculates.
Jamesusuallyletshispartner'sdesiresguidehim.IfSharonwantstohaveintercourseforalongtime,hesimplydelayshisejaculationuntilshe'shadallshewants.Inthemeantime,hemayhavethreeorfourfullorgasms.IfSharonwantstomakeitashorterevening,Jamescomplieshappily.Somenightsaremarathonsandsomenightsarequickies.Theimportantthingis,it'stheirdecision.
Alan'sStory
Alanusedtohaveonequickorgasmwhenhemadeloveandthencallitanight.Today,however,Alanisatwo-orgasmguy.Whenheismakinglovewithhiswife,Alan'sfirstorgasmtendstocomeonratherquickly-withinfiveminutesorless.ButAlanhaslearnedtocontracthisPCmuscleatjusttherightmomentbeforehisclimax,andthiscompletelysuppresseshisejaculation.Alancallsthisfirstorgasmhis"dry"orgasm.Thisisusuallyhismostpowerfulorgasm,butitisjustthebeginningofhislovemaking.
Withorgasmnumberoneoutoftheway,Alan"settlesin"fortheslowjourneytoorgasmnumbertwo.WhatAlanlikestodohereistimehissecondorgasmsothatitoccurswith,orjustafter,hiswife'sorgasm.Alanandhiswifefindthistobeextremelygratifyingforbothofthem.Alan'swifetendstoneedprolongedintercoursebeforeshecanclimax,whichiswhyshewassoenthusiasticabouthelpingAlanlearnthesetechniques.
Alanandhiswifehavedevelopedasetofnonverbalsignals(winks,nods,squeezes,etc.)thathelpthemgettheirtimingright.Whenitistimefortheirmutualclimax,Alanjustrelaxesallofthemuscleshetensedthefirsttime,andhasasecondfullorgasm,completewithejaculation.Alansays,"Thefirstoneisforme...Thesecondoneisforbothofus."
MultiorgasmicMale:SomeVariationsonaThemeSomeVariationsona
TheexercisesinthisbookwillteachyouwhatIbelievetobethesimplest,mosteffectivewayforamantobecomemultiorgasmic.Butthat'sjustthebeginning.Onceyouhavemasteredthesetechniques,youmaygoontodevelopyourownuniquestyle.InthemanyyearsIhaveworkedwithmen,Ihaveseenallkindsofinterestingvariationsonthethemeofmultipleorgasm.Forexample,whilemostmenachievemultipleorgasmsbydelaying
-15-
HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-16-ejaculation,someareabletohavepartialorevencompleteejaculationswithoutlosingtheirerections.Whilemostmenspreadouttheirorgasmsthroughaprolongedsessionoflovemaking,somemenexperiencealloftheirorgasmsinrapid-firesuccession.
Thereisnopredictingwhatyouwillbecapableoforwhatwillfeelbesttoyou.Yourbodyisunique,anditwillrespondinauniqueway.MaybeyouwilldevelopsomevariationIhaveyettosee.Wouldn'tthatbegreat?Dropmealineifyoudo,becauseI'malwaysinterestedinhearingaboutnewthings.
IwanttointroduceyoutotwoothermultiorgasmicmenwhosestylesarequitedifferentfromJamesandAlan'ssothatyoucangetasenseofthemanypossibilitiesthatlieahead.Asyoureadtheirstories,rememberthatasdifferentasthesestylesmayseem,allfourmenstartedtheirmultiorgasmic"careers"withthesamebasictechniques.
BobCanEjaculateMoreThanOnceWithoutLosingHisErection
Bobhasaverydifferentwayofreachingmultipleorgasms.WhenBobmakeslovetohiswifehetendstobeginbythrustingveryvigorouslyandoftenejaculateswithinaboutfiveminutes.However,afterejaculating,hehaslearnedtomaintainbothhiserectionandhisarousal,andhecontinuestothrustslowly.Withinminutesheisabletohaveanothercompleteejaculationandorgasm,asstrongasthefirst.Ifhechooses,hecancontinuemakingloveinthisfashion,havingasmanyasfiveorsixorgasmsandejaculationswithinanhour.
Bob'sabilitytoextendhislovemakinginthisfashiongiveshiswifeJanicetheextratimesheneedstoreachherownpeak.ThisissomethingshewasunabletodowithBobbeforehedevelopedthisability.JaniceandBobusedtocompensatefortheirincompatibilitywithoralsexormanualmanipulation,butJanicealwaysfeltsomewhatdisappointedthatshewasunabletoreachherorgasmthroughstraightintercourse.Today,Janiceisaverysatisfiedwoman.
Bob'sstyleofmultipleorgasmiscalledmulti-ejaculation,anditisamoreadvancedanddifficulttechniquetomasterthanJames's.WhatBobhaslearnedtodoisshortenhisrefractoryperiod,therebyshorteningthelengthoftimeittakeshimtobecomearousedagainafterhehasejaculated.
ManyWomen'sExperienceJohn'sPatternResemblesResemblesManyManyWomen'sWomen'sExperience
Whenmakinglove,Johnusuallythrustsforapproximatelytenorfifteenminutesuntilhehasaverystrongorgasmwithapartialejaculation.Afterthis,hispenisbecomesevenmoresensitive,addingtohispleasure.Hiserectiondoesnotdissipateandhecontinuestothrustvigorously.Then,withinashortperiodoftime,heexperiencesaseriesofsmallerorgasms,almostlikeaftershocks.
John'sexperienceismostsimilartoatypeofmultipleorgasmmanywomenexperience.Thisstyleofmultipleorgasmisnotuncommonformultiorgasmicmen.Ihaveheardmanystoriesofmenwhodevelopedthistechniqueontheirownbyactuallymimickingthebreathingpatternsandmusclemovementsofmultiorgasmicwomen.TheinterestingthingaboutJohnisthathenolongerhastotrytomakeanyofthishappen.Hehasconditionedhisbodysowellthatthisaftershockresponseisnowcompletelyautomatic,happeningeverytimehehasanorgasm.Four"A"Students
James,Bob,John,andAlanareallmultiorgasmicmen,although,asyoucansee,theexperienceofhavingmultipleorgasmsissomewhatdifferentforeachofthem.ButJames,Bob,John,andAlanhavesomethingelseincommon.Noneofthemwerenaturallymultiorgasmic.Allofthemlearnedtohavemultipleorgasmsbyusingtheexactsametechniquespresentedinthisbook!
Thesefourmenhavestillonemorethingincommon:James,Alan,Bob,andJohnwereallmy"students."Isaweachonemovefrombeingasingle-orgasmicbeginnertoamultiorgasmicgraduate.Iamproudofthemall,andtheyareallproudofthemselves.
Whenamanturnstoasextherapistforhelp,hissexualfunctioningisusuallyasourceofgreatdistress.ThesefourmenwereallstrugglingwhenImetthemforthefirsttime,andlookatwhattheycandonow.Justimaginethepossibilitiesthatlieaheadforamanlikeyouwhomayalreadybefairlycomfortablewithhisabilitytoperform."IWanttoBelieveThis,But
Isensethatyouareveryclosetobecomingabeliever.Onceyouknowthesecretformulaformalemultipleorgasms,itallbeginstomakeperfectsense,doesn'tit?ButIwouldn'tbesurprisedifyou'rewonderingrightnowhowsomethingsoextraordinaryandsosimplecouldgounnoticedforsolong.Afterall,thesexualrevolutionendedyearsago.Howcouldwehavemissedaphenomenonlikemalemultipleorgasm?IfsuchathingisaseasyforanymantoachieveasIsayitis,whyisn'teveryguyinAmericadoingit?Andwhyaren'tyoudoingitrightnow?Thesearereallyimportantquestions.AndIhavesomesurprisinganswers:
FACT:Malemultipleorgasmisnothingnew.Easterncultures,forexample,havebeenawareofmalemultiple
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-17-orgasmandnonejaculatoryorgasm(NEO)formanyyears,anditisnotdifficulttofindreferencestoitintheirtantricliteratureandhistoricalliterature.Highuponmountaintopsinfarawaylands,bothmenandwomenhavebeenhavingagoodoldtimeforalong,longtime.
FACT:Malemultipleorgasmiswelldocumentedinprofessionalpublications.Knowledgeofthisphenomenonhasnotbeenrestrictedtoahandfulofenlightenedsoulslivingondistantshores.Referencestomalemultipleorgasm,somedatingbackasfarasthe1930s,canbefoundinnumerousbooksandjournalarticlesavailableatmostcollegelibrariesrighthereinthegoodoldUnitedStates.
AQuickHistoryLesson
Theearliestnewsoftheexistenceofmalemultipleorgasmwasnotwellreceivedinthiscountry.Quitethecontrary,whenitwasfirstmentionedinthescientificliteratureinthe1930sandearly1940s,itwasviewedasdysfunctional,orevenpathological.Inotherwords,mostprofessionalsbelievedthatitonlyhappenedtoamaniftherewassomethingwrongwithhisequipment.Giventheprevailingattitudeatthetime,itisnowonderthatthewholethinggotverylittleattention.
Then,in1948,AlfredKinsey'sgroundbreakingbook,SexualBehaviorintheHumanMale,waspublished.Inthebook,Kinseyclearlynotedthatseveralofthe"normal"menhestudiedreportedhavingmorethanoneejaculationwiththesameerection.Othersreportedexperiencingthesensationsoforgasmwithoutejaculation,andsomereportedmorethanoneclimaxwitheachactofintercourse.Nowyouwouldthinkthatnewslikethiswouldhavespreadlikewildfire,butitdidn't.Althoughtheprofessionalcommunitybecamemoreacceptingoftheconcept,thestandardbeliefwasthat"eitheryouhaveitoryoudon't."Inotherwords,mendidn'tbecomemultiorgasmic:eithertheywerebornthatwayortheyweren'tbornthatway.Andthatwasthat.Itwasn'tuntilthe1970sthatprofessionalsbegantoconsiderathirdpossibility:thatmalemultipleorgasmcouldactuallybelearned.That'swhentherealfunstarted.Eversincethen,manyopen-mindedsextherapists,myselfandmycolleaguesincluded,havebeenworkinglongandhard(nojokesplease)todevelopandrefineanumberofvalidtechniquesthatanymancouldlearn.Thoughweallliketoargueaboutwhosemethodsarebest,thereisonethingweallagreeon:itcanbedone.
Well,thatendsourlittlehistorylesson.It'stheninetiesandyou'realuckyguy.Today,allofthenecessarytechniquesexistformentobecomemultiorgasmic.Allyouneedtodonowisthework.Ifyouwanttolearnmoreabouttheevolutionofthisexcitingandimportantdiscovery,IsuggestyoutakealookatsomeofthearticlesI'velistedattheendofthebookinAppendix1.
"AreYouSureThereIsn'taCatch?"
Ifyou'renotamultiorgasmicmale,youmightbeinclinedtothinkthatanonejaculatoryorgasmwouldn'tfeelallthatfabulous-thatitmightbeabitfeeble,relativelyspeaking.Icanunderstandwhyit'sprobablyhardtoimaginethatanorgasmwithoutanejaculationcouldpossiblyfeelasintenseastheoldreliableorgasm/ejaculationcombo.ButhaveIgotasurpriseforyou.MorethanhalfthemenIhavespokentoreportthattheirnonejaculatoryorgasmsaremorepowerfulthananytraditionalorgasmtheyeverhad.That'sright...notjustasgoodasatraditionalorgasm...better!Whenyouhearthesemenexplaintheirexperiences,itbeginstomakesense.Look,forexample,atwhatthesefourmenhavetosay:
Thenonejaculatoryorgasmisactuallymoreintenseinsomewaysbecauseyouareplanningit,leadinguptoit,andyouknowitisgoingtohappen.Inmy"previoussexlife,"eventhougheveryorgasmhadanejaculationwithit,sometimestheorgasmwasnotverystrongbecauseIwasn'ttotallyexpectingit.OrIwasactuallytryingtoholditbacksoitgotsortofmuffled.SometimesIwouldactuallyhaveanejaculationwithoutanorgasm.Thatwasveryunpleasant.
Frank,age58
WiththebuildupIneedtohavemorethanoneorgasm,thecrownofmypenisgetsextremelysensitiveandtingly.IfIstretchitoutlongenough,myfirstorgasmfeelslikethetopofmyheadisblowingoff.
Thomas,age41
Idon'thavemultipleorgasmsornonejaculatoryorgasmseverytimeIhavesex.SometimesIhavesexjustasareleaseorawaytobeclosewithmypartnerbeforeIfallasleep.ButIhavesexwithnonejaculatoryorgasmswhenIreallywanttotakesometimeandhaveanintenseexperience.
Edward,age27
WhenIfirstheardaboutthisIthoughtthereisnowaythathavinganorgasmwithoutanejaculationcouldfeelthesame.Ithoughtitwouldfeeldisappointing,orlikeI'dmissedsomething.Butit'snotlikethatatall.NowIamreallyfeelingwhatishappeningduringorgasm.Before,itwouldhappensofastthatIwasn'tevenawareofwhatIwasfeeling.
Justin,age33
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-18-Areyoufeelingalittlemoreconvinced?Ihaveheardcommentsliketheseoverandoverandoveragain.I'mnotsurprisedanymore,butI'malwaysimpressed.Ibetyou'reimpressedtoo,butIbetyou'realsogettinganxious.Wecantalkandtalkandtalkaboutthewondersofmalemultipleorgasm,buttherecomesatimewhenyou'vegottogetdowntobusiness.Everyday,moreandmoremenarebecomingmultiorgasmic,andIthinkit'stimeyouhadyourchance.
CHAPTER6
LearningtoTouch,LearningtoFeel
Thematerialinthischapteralwaysremindsmeoftwoofmyveryfirstclients,AndrewandEleanor.AndrewandEleanorcametomyofficebecauseEleanorwasextremelydistressedbyAndrew'slackofsensitivityduringintercourse.EleanorsaidthathavingsexwithAndrewwaslikehavingadrillontopofher.Shecomplainedthathewaslikearobot,poundingaway,notevennoticingwhenherheadhitagainsttheheadboardofthebed.Andrewadmittedhowdetachedhefeltfromhisbodyduringsex.Healsoadmittedtobeingquiteanxious.Andrewfeltthatifhedidn'tperforminexactlythisfashioneitherhewouldlosehiserectionorEleanorwouldloseinterest.
Thethoughtofslowingdownandexperiencingintercourse"inthemoment"wastotallyforeigntoAndrew.Atfirst,itwasalsoabitanxietyprovoking.IknewthatAndrewneededtoslowdownandlearntoappreciatehisownbodybeforehecouldappreciatehiswife.That'swhyIbeganhistherapybyteachinghimcertainsensatefocusexercises,whichhecoulddowithEleanor,orbyhimself,thatwouldhelphimexperiencehisownbody.Inthischapter,I'mgoingtoteachyoumanyofthesesameexercises.ThisisnottoimplythatIthinkallmenareasoutoftouchwiththeirbodiesasAndrewwas.Thesetechniquesareinvaluableforanyman,regardlessofhiscurrentlevelofawareness.
Men,asweallknow,tendtobeverytargetoriented.Theywanttogetitupandgetitin.Asfarasmostwomenareconcerned,thismakesforveryuninterestingsex.Butitalsomakesitextremelydifficultforamantohaveamultipleorgasm.Thischapterwillhelpyoudevelopagreaterappreciationforthechangesinyourphysiologyastheyarecontinuallytakingplaceduringarousal.Itwillhelpyoumorefullyexperienceyourmostpleasurablebodilysensationsastheyarehappening,andsetthestageforprolongingandintensifyingeachofthesesensations.
Gettingsensitizedtoyourownarousalprocessisreallyimportantifyouwanttobecomemultiorgasmic.Agoodpilotdoesn'tjustknowhowtofly;agoodpilotknowstheworkingsoftheairplaneinsideandout.Avirtuosodoesn'tjustplayaninstrument;avirtuosohasanintimaterelationshipwiththeinstrument.Thesamethingappliestosex.It'snotenoughtojustownapenis.Youneedtobeintimatewiththemanynuancesofyourownsexualresponseifyouwanttolearnthespecialtechniquesinthefollowingchaptersandmastertheartofmalemultipleorgasm.
ExactlyIsSensateFocusWhatWhatExactly
Sensatefocustechniquesarestructuredsensualtouchingexercisesdesignedbysextherapiststohelpmenandwomenfocuson,appreciate,andcontrolthemoment-to-momentexperiencesofcontact,arousal,andrelease.Thesewell-establishedtechniquescreatealevelofphysiologicalawarenessthatleadstoextraordinarycontroloverthedifferentphasesofexcitement,orgasm,andejaculation.
Wearegoingtousesensatefocustechniquesinmostofourexercises.Thesearenotsexacts.Theyareveryloving,verypleasurablewaysofmakingcontactwithapartner.Arousalisnotthegoalhere.Orgasmisnotthegoal.Youronlygoalisfullappreciationofthesensationsyouareabouttoexperience.
SensateFocusTakesYouintoYourBody
Formanypeople,sexinanongoingrelationshiphasawayofbecomingabitroutine.Areyouconcernedbecausesomethingthatwasoncesochargedandpassionatehaslostalotofitspunch?Areyoualwayssearchingfornewfantasiestokeepthefirealive?Well,sensatefocusisgoingtochangeallofthat.
Ithinkthatoneofthemainreasonssexlosesitssparkisbecauseofthewayweallrushthroughtheprocess.AsfarasI'mconcerned,mostpeoplearehavingsextoodarnfast.Itseemsasthougheveryoneisinsuchahurrytogettothepointoforgasmthattheyaremissingallofthewonderfulthingsthathappentotheirbody,andtotheirpartner'sbody,alongtheway.Ifyouwanttomakeyoursexlifemoreexcitingandmoreerotic,Ithinktheveryfirstthingyouneedtodoisstoprushing.Andthat'swheresensatefocuscomesin.
Sensatefocustechniquesslowyoudown.Theytakeyouintoyourbodyandintoyourpartner'sbodyinwaysyouhaveprobablyneverexperiencedbefore.Ithinkfantasiesarewonderful,butfantasiestendtotakeusoutofour
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-19-bodiesandintoourheads.Sometimes,Ithinkthatcanbethewrongdirection.Personally,Ithinkthatwhatwereallyneedtoenhanceourexperienceofsexisnotmorefantasy,butamuchbiggerdoseofreality.Sensatefocusgivesyouthatreality.Itfocusesyourattentionandyourenergyandletsyouappreciateeverysingleeroticnuanceofyourarousalandyourpartner'sarousal.Tome,that'stheultimateaphrodisiac.
PlaybytheRules
Beforewebegin,youneedtoknowthethreeofsensatefocus:
RULE1:Payattentiontoexactlywhereyouaretouchingorwhereyouarebeingtouched.Trytostayasfocusedaspossible.
RULE2:Stayinthehereandnow.Don'tthinkaboutwhathappenedlastweekorwhatcouldhappennextThursday.Trytoletgoofanythingthatisnothappeningatthisverymoment.
RULE3:Don'tputanypressureonyourself.Ifyou'reworkingwithapartner,don'tputanypressureonhereither.Sextherapistscallthis"nondemandinteraction."Iwillcallthesensatefocusexercises"demand-free"or"pressure-free"exercises.Therearenogradeshere,nogoodandbad,norightorwrong,justtouchingandbeingtouched.
PreparingfortheExercises
Fromthispointforward,Irecommendyoudoalloftheexercisesin-thebookinaquietroomthatisfreefromdistractions.Youaregoingtoneedacomfortablebed(youmaypreferacomfortablechairforthesoloexercises).YouarealsogoingtoneedsomeK-Yjelly,babyoil,massageoil,cream,orotherlubricant.Besuretousealubricantthatdoesnotirritatethegenitals-forwomen,K-Yjellyisusuallythesafestchoice.Keepacleantowelhandy.Ifyouusecondoms,havethembythebedsidewithineasyreach.
Youmayfindithelpfultohaveaclocktokeepyoufromcompletelylosingtrackofthetime.Ifthereisatelephoneintheroom,turnitoff.Iftherearechildreninthehouse,theyshouldbesoundasleeporwithababysitter.Theroomshouldbelitaccordingtoyourpreferences,butIdon'trecommendplayinganymusic.Youneedtofocusasmuchaspossibleonthesensationsyouareabouttoexperience.
Ifyouwerelearningthesetechniquesatouroffices,thesetupwouldbenodifferent.Weprovideaquietroomwithabed,lubricants,clock,towel,etc.Thereisnospecialequipmentthatisrequired.
LearningtheGenitalCaress
Therearemanydifferentsensatefocustechniques.Forthepurposesofthisbook,however,thereisonlyonetechniquethatyouneedtolearn:thegenitalcaress.Youcanlearnthesensatefocusgenitalcaresswithapartner(Exercise4)orbyyourself(Exercise5).YouaregoingtoneedaboutonehourforExercise4andthirtyminutesforExercise5.
Exercise4:TouchofHeaven(withapartner)
Inthisexercise,onepartnerwillplaytheactiverolewhiletheotherplaysthepassiverole.Thenyouwillswitchinthemiddlesonoonefeelsshortchanged.
Let'ssaythatthewomanisgoingtobethepassivepartnerfirst.Thefirstthingsheneedstodoislieonherbackandgetverycomfortable.Sheneedstotakehertimeandgetcompletelyrelaxed.Thisexercisedoesnotbeginuntilthepassivepartneriscompletelyrelaxed.
Astheactivepartner,youaregoingtostartslowly,gentlystrokingthefrontofherbodyforaboutfifteenortwentyminutes.Thestyleoftouchingiscalledacaress.Whenyoucaress,youtouchinavery,veryslow,focusedfashion.Becausethisisagenitalcaress,yourstrokingisgoingtofocusprimarilyonhergenitals,thoughitdoesnothavetobelimitedtohergenitals.
Slowlystarttocaresshergenitalswithyourfingersormouth,touchingboththeoutsideandinsideofhervagina.Uselotsoflubrication.Focusintentlyontheareasyouaretouching.Paycarefulattentiontowhattheyfeellikeandwhattheylooklike.Absorbyourselfinthosesensations.Rememberthatthisisademand-freeexercise.Youarenottouchingtopleaseherortoturnheron.Youaretouchingtopleaseyou.Thattakesthepressureoffheranditalsotakesthepressureoffyou.
Allyourpartnerneedstodoisliestill,relax,andfeelhersensations.Sheshouldstaycompletelypassive,withhereyesclosed.Sheshouldn'tmove.Sheshouldnottrytoreciprocate.Sheshouldnottalkunlessyouaremakingheruncomfortable.Sheneedsonlytoletherselffeelyourtouch.Ifshegetsdistracted,sheneedstogentlybringherfocusbacktowhereyouaretouchingher.Ifyounoticeherbodygettingtense,lightlypatheronthelegasasignalforhertorelax.Trytostayasfocusedaspossible,deeplyabsorbedintouchingherandthewaythatfeels.Ifyourmindstartswandering,youneedtogentlyrefocusyourmindonthecaress.Itdoesn'tmatterhowmanytimesyourmindstrays.Allthatmattersisthateachtimeyourecognizetheshift,youbringyourselfbacktotheexercise.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-20-Thisisawonderfultechniqueforlearningtorelaxandconnecttoyourfeelings.Youronlygoalistogetasmuchpleasureaspossibleforyourselfwhileyourpartnerisgettingasmuchpleasureaspossibleforherself.Ifyoufindyourselfgettingmechanicalorgettingboredwithyourcaressing,slowdown.Chancesare,youaren'tlettingyourselfreallybeinthemoment.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Ifyoustartrubbingyourpartner'sclitorisortryingtoturnheroninsomeway,shewillbeabletofeeltheshiftinyourintentions.Sheisplayingthepassiveroleandisnotsupposedtorespondinanyway.Sodon'ttrytochangetherules.Stickwiththeprogram.
Nowit'syourturn.Onceyou'veplayedtheactiveroleforabouttwentyminutes,youarereadytoswitchroles.(Ofcourse,youcantakelongerifyouwish.)Thistime,themanwillbetakingthepassiverole.
Liedowncomfortablyonyourbackwithyourlegsslightlyspread.Letyourarmsrestatyoursides,orplacethemunderyourhead.Onceyouhavesettledintoaposition,trynottochangeit.
Yourpartnerwillspendthenexttwentyorsominutescaressingthefrontofyourbody,concentratingprimarilyoncaressingyourgenitals.Irecommendsheusesbabyoilorsomeotherlubricantyoubothlike.Shecancaressyouwithherhands,withhermouth,orwithboth.
Yourjobistostayfocusedonhertouch,andhowitfeels.Don'tmovearoundanddon'ttalk.Letyourpartnerexplorethefeelingoftouchingyourpenisandscrotum.
Itdoesnotmatterwhetherornotyougetanerection.Asoftpenisshouldfeelasgoodtoherasahardpenis,justdifferent.Sheisonlyfocusingonthesensationoftouchingyou,notonyourarousal(andnotonhers).Ifyoudogetanerection,itisveryimportanttounderstandthatyoudon'thavetodoanythingwithit.Allyouneedtodorightnowisenjoythesensationsofyourownarousal.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Makesureyourpartnerknowsthathergoalisnottoturnyouon.Allsheissupposedtodoistouchyouinawaythatfeelsgoodtoher.
Don'tflexyourPCmuscleduringthisexercise.Don'tholdyourbreath.Justcloseyoureyes,relax,andfocusonhercaresses.Ifyoubecomeveryarousedandyouejaculate,that'sokay.Justletyourpartnerwipeyouoffandcontinuehercaress.Theimportantthingisthatyoudon'ttrytoforceanything.
Ifyourpartnersensesthatyouaretensingup,sheshouldsignalyoutorelaxbygentlytappingyouontheleg.Theonlytimeyoushouldtalktoherisifsheisdoingsomethingthatmakesyouuncomfortable.Otherwise,justreleaseyourselfintothemomentandenjoythesensations.
Ifyoufindyourselfdriftingoff,gentlybringyourfocusbacktowhereyourpartneristouchingyou.Itdoesn'tmatterhowoftenyoudrift.Justpracticebringingyourselfbackintothemoment.
Ifyoudon'thaveapartner,orifyouprefertopracticebyyourself,thesensatefocusgenitalcaressisstillquitepleasurable.Itisimportanttorememberthatthisisnotamasturbationexercise.Itisawayofexperiencingthemanyrichsensationsofyourownarousal.Ejaculationisnotagoal.Ifithappens,that'sfine,butyouarenottryingtomakeithappen.Yourgoalissimplytocreateandexperienceasmuchsensationinyourpenisaspossible.
Exercise5:AloneatLast(solo)
Lieonyourback,closeyoureyes,andgetverycomfortable(youmayprefertositinacomfortablechair).Usingplentyoflubrication,slowly,gentlytouchyourselfinacaressingway.Youmaywanttostartbytouchingyournipplesorthighs,sincebothareprobablyquitesensitive.Thenslowlymovetothegenitals.Onceyoubegincaressingyourpenis,donotuseamasturbationstroke.Donottrytoturnyourselfon.Exploreeverycreaseandfoldinthegenitalarea.Takeyourtime.
Rememberthatthemostimportantthingistostayasrelaxedaspossibleandfocusedonthehereandnow.Youarenottryingtodoanythingexceptenjoythesensations.Ifyouhaveanerection,that'sfine.Ifyoudon't,that'sfinetoo.Butyoushouldnotbetryingtogiveyourselfone.Thisisapressure-freeexercise.Allyouwanttodoisexperiencetherichnessofyourownarousal.Ifyourmindstartstowander,gentlybringyourfocusbacktothesensationsyou'reexperiencinginthemoment.Thismayhappenseveraltimes.That'sokay.Justkeepbringingyourfocusbacktotheexercise.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Ifyouhavethoughtslike,"IwonderifI'mreallyhard,"or"IwonderifIcouldgivemyselfanorgasm,"youarethinkingaboutyourperformance.Thatmeansyou'reputtingsubtlepressureonyourself.Juststaywiththesensations.That'syouronlygoal.
Isuggestyoudothisexerciseforatleasttwentyminutes,ifnotlonger.Thirtyminutesisideal.Sometimes,intheabsenceofapartner,thereisatendencytorusheverything.Thisdefeatsthewholepurposeofsensatefocus.Rememberthattheemphasisisonsensuality,notsexuality.Somemenfeelabitself-consciousduringthisexercise.Thisisverynormal,especiallyifyouareamanwhodoesnotmasturbateoften,orsomeonewhotendstorushtothepointofclimax.Don'tbeconcerned.Yourdiscomfortshouldeaseovertime.
But...ItSureFeelsGood,Good,ButBut...
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-21-Thesensatefocusgenitalcaressfeelsprettyterrific.That'sreasonenoughtolearnit.Fromthispointon,almosteveryexerciseinthisbookbeginswiththiscaress.That'sanothergoodreasontolearnit.Butwhyisitsoimportant?
Thesensatefocusgenitalcaressletsyoupayattentiontoyoursensationswithoutgettingdistracted.Itletsyoufocus.Itletsyoustayinthehereandnow.Anditkeepsthepressureoffyouandoffyourpartner.Youneedtobeabletodoallofthesethingstomastertheartofmalemultipleorgasm.
Wecantalkandtalkaboutthemanybenefitsofthesensatefocusgenitalcaress.Butyouneedsomeexperienceactuallyfeelingit.That'swhyI'veincludedtheaboveexercises.Soenjoyyourself,repeatthemasmanytimesasyoulike,butrememberthatthepleasureyou'regettingrightnowisonlyoneofthepayoffs.
CHAPTER7
AwareArousedandandAware
Youhavetoknowwhereyouaretoknowwhereyou'regoing.Unfortunatelymostmenhaveaverylimitedawarenessoftheirownsexualresponsesandtheydon'talwaysknowwhattheyarefeelingorexperiencingatthemoment.Theyknowthatsomethingpleasurableishappening,buttheydon'tknowexactlywhatthatsomethingis.Theyknowthatthey'rearoused,that'sforsure,buttheyaren'tintouchwiththesubtletiesoftheirownexperience.Thisisverylimiting,bothforthemanandforhispartner.
Thischapterteachesamanhowtoknowwhatishappeningtohisbodyduringthevariousstagesofarousal.Hewilllearnhowtolistentowhathisbodyistellinghim,andhowtoworkwiththosesignalstomaximizebothhispleasureandthepleasureheisgivinghispartner.
HowArousedAreYouHowAroused
Asktheaveragemanifhe'sfeelingarousedandwhatdoeshesay?"Yes"or"No."Askhimtodescribehisarousalandwhatdoeshesay?Notawholelotmore.Buttalktoamultiorgasmicmanabouthisarousalandyou'rehavingaverydifferentconversation.Multiorgasmicmenaremastersoftheirownarousal.Theyknowthenuancesoftheireroticexperienceandtakeadvantageoftheirsensitivitytoprolongandmagnifythatexperience.Askamultiorgasmicmantodescribehisarousalandhe'llgiveyouatleastfivepages,singlespaced.Hemighteventhrowinapoem.
Sexualarousalisactuallyaverycomplexandsophisticatedprocess.Therearemanylevelsofarousal,eachhavingitsowndistinctsensationsandintensity.Someshiftsaresubtle,someareprofound,butitisnotablackorwhitething.It'salotmorelikearainbow.Whatwearegoingtofocusonrightnowislearningtorecognizeandappreciatethesedifferentcolorsoftherainbowbybecomingmoreawareofthesubtledifferencesofeachone.
Onceyouaresensitizedtoyourmanylevelsofarousal,youwillhaveamuchmoreintimaterelationshipwithyourownbody.Thatbecomesreallyimportantwhenyoustartworkingwithyourbodytowardyourfirstmultipleorgasm.Ifmultipleorgasmisyourgoal,beingarousedisnotenough.Youmustbearousedandaware.It'slikelearningtowritemusic.Everythingmaysoundnicetoyourear,butit'shardtowriteasonguntilyouknowallofthenotesonthescale.Themoreyourefineyourear,theeasieritgets.Sharpsandflatsaremoresubtle,buttheyareextremelyimportanttoo.
Bythetimeyou'vecompletedtheexercisesinthischapter,youaregoingtoknowthevariouslevelsofyourownarousalthewayacomposerknowsthenotesonthescale.Tomakethiseasier,wearegoingtoestablishascaleofourown:anarousalscale.
LearningtheScales
Ourarousalscaleisgoingtobeaverysimplescalethatgoesfromonetoten,withLevel1beingthelowestlevelofarousalandLevel10beingthehighest.
Let'sbeginwithLevel1.Level1isyourbaseline.Whatdoesitfeellike?Letmegiveyouanexample.It'sSaturdayafternoononahotsummerday.You'vejustfinishedyourlunchandyou'rethinkingofdoingthelaundry.Yourdogwantstogoforawalkandyourcarneedsawash.Thereisn'tasexualthoughtinyourhead.Youarenotexperiencinganyarousalwhatsoever.None.Zero.Nada.Getthepicture?Atthatmoment,youareatLevel1.
Let'snowjumptoLevel10.That'saneasyone.Level10isorgasm.TheBig"O."Theendoftheroad.
Great.Nowallweneedtodoisestablisheverythinginbetween.ALevel2orLevel3isthatslighttwingesensationamangetsatthebaseofhispenisashebeginstogetaroused.Thebeastwithinhasstartedtostiratthefirstwhiffofsomethingexcitingintheair.It'ssubtle,butit'sthere.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-22-NextcomesLevel4.That'sasteady,lowlevelofarousal.It'smorethanatwingenow...you'refeelinggood.Still,youcouldstopwithoutmuchdifficulty.Butthat'sgoingtochangesoon.AtLevel5andLevel6yourarousalisalreadysubstantial.Nowyou'rereallyintoit.Onceyou'vereachedtheselevels,youdon'twanttothinkaboutstopping.You'refeelingtoogoodnow.BythetimeyougettoLevel7orLevel8,youwillfeelyourheartpoundingandyourfacemayflush.Ifyouhadtotalkyouwouldprobablysoundoutofbreath.Level9isintense.Youaren'tfarfromthetopnow...youareveryclosetoorgasm.AtLevel9,theoutsideworldisveryfaraway,andthereisn'tmuchthatcouldstopyounow.
JustshortofLevel10isaverycrucialpointIcall"thepointofnoreturn."Itiscommonlyreferredtoas"thepointofinevitability."Youmaynotknowthename,butIbetyouknowthefeeling.It'sthatpointatwhichitbecomesclearthatyouareabouttohaveanorgasm.Thepointofinevitabilityisreachedthroughaseriesofphysiologicalchangesinthebody,butitissubjectivelyexperiencedasapsychologicalturningpoint.
Onceyou'vehitthepointofinevitability,thereisnogoingback.Yourbodyiscommittedtohavingthatorgasm.Theskycouldfallinandworldscouldcollide,butitdoesn'tmatterasfarasyouareconcerned.Thebigoneisontheway.
Onour1to10scale,this"pointofnoreturn"wouldregistera9.9.Thisisaveryimportantnumberforyoutoremember,forreasonswhichIwillexplainlater.
PerfectPracticeMakesMakesPerfect
Talkingaboutlevelsofarousalcangetalittlebitabstractafterawhile.Youneedtoexperiencethem.It'stheonlywaytotrulymasterthesystem.Oneofthewaysyoulearneachlevelisbycomparingittothepreviouslevel,ortothefollowingone."HowdoIknowwhata3is?"youmayask.It'salittlehigherthana2."HowdoIknowI'mata7?"youmaywonder.Becauseyou'redefinitelypasta5or6,butyouhaven'thitan8.Isthisvague?Ipromiseitwon'tbeforverylong.
Donotethatthesenumbersareallrelativetoeachother.Theimportantthingisthateachlevelfeelsslightlydifferent.Theonlyabsolutenumberassignmentsare1,whichisnoarousal,9.9,whichisthepointofnoreturn,and10,whichisorgasm.Don'tworryifyour4isanotherman's5;thereisnosuchthingasthedefinitive3orthequintessential6.Allthatcountsareyourownrelativelevelsofarousal,andthat'sallyouneedtoknow.
Usingnumberstodescribeyourarousalmaysoundalittlesilly,butImustaskyoutotakethisnumbersystemvery,veryseriously.Iamgoingtorefertodifferentnumbersoverandoveragainthroughouttheremainingexercises.It'stheonlywaywecancommunicateclearlyenoughtoguaranteeyouwilllearntheprogram.Idon'twanttosoundlikeyourthird-gradeteacher,butifyouwanttomasterthesetechniques,youhavetopracticeyourscales.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Pleasedon'tusethesenumberstojudgeyourperformanceinanyway.A"6"isnotbetterthana"3";a"4"isnotworsethana"7."They'rejustdifferent.Thereisnogoodandbadhere;thereisnorightorwrong.Youwillnotbegradedandyouwillnotbejudged.Theonlygoalistobecomemoreintimatewiththesubtlechangesinyourbodyduringyourarousal.
AboutYourErection?WhatWhatAbout
You'llnoticehowIhaven'tsaidanythingabouterections.Itisverycommonformentoequatearousalwitherections,buttheyarenotoneandthesame.Arousalisafeeling;itisasubjectivesenseofexcitementthatcanbeexperiencedthroughoutthebody,thoughitistypicallyfeltmostkeenlyinthegenitals.Erection,ontheotherhand,referstohardnessofthepenis.Erectionisaveryobjectivemeasureofhardnessthatisadirectreflectionofbloodflowingintothisorgan.
Amancanfeelveryaroused-incrediblyaroused-yetnotbeerect.Maybeyou'vefeltthiswayafteralongnightoflovemakingwhenyourmindwantedtokeepgoingbutyourpeniscalleditquitsforthenight.Orperhapsyou'vefeltthiswaywithanewpartnerthatgotyoutotallyexcited,butalsototallynervous.Therearemanymenwhohaveactuallyhadtheexperienceofbeingarousedtothepointoforgasmwithouteverbeingerect.
MaybeyoubecomefullyerectatarousalLevel4;maybeyoudon'tgeterectuntilLevel6.Ormaybe,likemostmen,it'sdifferentondifferentdays.Itdoesn'tmatterrightnowbecausewe'renotgoingtoworryalotabouterectionshere.Ourconcerniswithyourlevelofarousal.Asyouhaveprobablylearnedfromyourownexperience,focusingtoointentlyonyourerectionhasawayofdiscouragingtheprocess.Ontheotherhand,whenyouleaveitalone,ittendstocomehome.Sodon'tthinkaboutit.Rightnow,allyouneedtodoisfocusonyournumbers.
toPeakHowHowto
TohelpyoulearnyourarousalscaleI'mgoingtoteachyouhowto"peak."Reachingapeakmeanslettingyourarousalrisetoacertainlevelandthenimmediatelylettingitdropbackdown.Forexample,youmayletyourarousalrisetoLevel6,thenletitfallbackdown.That'saLevel6peak.OryoumayletyourarousalrisetoLevel9,thenletit
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-23-fallbackdown.That'saLevel9peak.(Rememberthatwearetalkingaboutarousalhere,notabouterections.)Thisisdifferentfromtryingtomaintainyourarousalatagivenlevel,whichisknownas"plateauing."Youwilllearnhowtoplateauinthenextchapter.
Ifyoufindthisexercisedifficultorfrustratingatfirst,don'tsweatit.Ittakesmostmenanumberofsessionsbeforetheyreally"getit."Ifyouareworkingwithapartner,herinputcanbeabighelpsinceherobjectiveexperienceofyouwillbeslightlydifferentateachlevel.Letherknowthatherobservationsarewelcome.
Exercise6takesfifteenortwentyminutesanddoesnotrequireapartner.Exercise7isdonewithapartnerandtakesalittlebitlonger.
Exercise6:ClimbingEverest(solo)
Onceagain,youneedtoliedownorsitdownandgetverycomfortable.Putsomelubricationonyourhandandonyourpenis.WhatyouaregoingtodonowisstartbygivingyourselfagenitalcaressthewayyoulearnedinExercise5.SlowlystrokeyourselfuntilyoureachwhatyouwouldconsidertobeaLevel4ofarousal.That'spastthe"twinge"stagetothepointwhereyou'refeelingalow,steady"hum"ofarousal.Rememberthatyouarenotusingamasturbationstroke;youarecaressingyourself.
WhenyougettoLevel4,stopthestimulationandtakeadeepbreath...areallyslowdeepbreath.CheckyourPCmuscle,yourhipmuscles,andyourthighmusclestomakesurethey'reallreallyrelaxed.Good.Nowletyourarousaldropbackdownacoupleoflevelstoa"2."Takeyourtime.Youhavejusthadyourfirst"peak"atLevel4.
OnceyouhavedroppedtoLevel2,startyourcaressagain.Thistime,seeifyoucangouptoaroundLevel6.Youmayneedtostrokeyourselfalittlebitfastertogettothisslightlyhigherlevel.That'sfine.WhenyoureachLevel6,stopthestimulationonceagain.Takearealslowdeepbreathandletyourarousaldropbackdownafewlevelstoarounda"4."Makesureallyourmusclesarecompletelyrelaxed.Great.Youhavejusthada"peak"atLevel6.
Youaregoingtocontinuethisexerciseforthenextfifteentotwentyminutes.WhatIwantyoutodoistrytohaveapeakatLevel4,Level6,Level7,Level8,andLevel9,whichisthepointjustpriortoyour"pointofnoreturn."Ateachlevelit'simportanttostopthestimulation,relax,takeareallydeepbreath,andmakesureallofyourmusclesarerelaxed.Alwaysletyourselfdropatleastonelevel,preferablytwo,aftereachpeak.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Trynottobringyourarousalupinaspike,likeshootingfromaLevel3toaLevel8.You'retryingtostretchoutyourarousalintoanextendedseriesofgraduallyincreasingpeaks.Ifyouweregoingtographyourarousal,itwouldlooklikeawave,notlikeaneedle.
Don'trushyourpeaks.Eachupanddowncycleshouldtakefourorfiveminutes.Stretchthemout.Letthembuildslowlyandsavoreachone.Asyourpeaksgethigherandhigher,itmaybecomemoreandmoredifficulttorelax.Onewaytoovercomethisisbytakingdeeperanddeeperbreathsateachlevel.Ifallofthisstimulationhasmadeyouneedtoejaculate,goahead.Otherwise,youcanstoptheexerciseonceyou'vecompletedfourorfivepeaks.Ifyoudon'tgetuptoLevel8orLevel9thefirsttime,that'sokay;youwillwithpractice.
Ultimately,youwillneedtobeabletopeakatveryhighlevels.Thisisnothardonceyougetusedtothewholeprocessofpeaking.Throughrepetitionyouwilllearntorecognizeandbecomecomfortableatyourdifferentlevels.Believeitornot,itwon'tbelongbeforeyoucanevendifferentiatebetweenLevels8,8.5,9,and9.5.Talkaboutknowingyourownbody!Thiskindoffinesensitivitytoyourarousalwillmakemultipleorgasmasnap.
Exercise7:TwinPeaks(withapartner)
Wouldyouliketopractice"peaking"withyourpartner?Here'show.First,youneedtolieonyourback,closeyoureyes,andgetverycomfortable.Yourpartnerisgoingtobegintheexercisebydoingasensatefocusgenitalcaress.Sheshoulddothisniceandslowandfocusonherownpleasure.Shecanuseherhands,hermouth,orboth.Allyoushouldfocusoniswhatyouarefeeling.Thiskeepsthepressureoffbothofyou.
Onceshehasstarted,yourpartnershouldsaytoyou,"AsIamstrokingyou,letmeknowifyoureachthepointthatyouthinkisaLevel4."Itdoesn'tmatterhowmuchtimeittakes.Enjoyhercaresses.Allyouneedtodoissimplysay"4"whenyouhavereachedthatlevel.Onceyousay"4,"yourpartnershouldstophercaress.Checkallofyourmusclestomakesuretheyarerelaxed.Takeadeepbreath,andletyourarousaldroponeortwolevels.Whenyourarousalhasdroppedoffsufficiently,letyourpartnerknowshecanstartagain.Ithelpstohaveagreedonasignalaheadoftime,suchasanod,awink,oraU.S.AirForcethumbsup.
Yourpartnershouldstartthestimulationagainveryslowly,inaveryfocusedfashion.Shewillthensay,"LetmeknowwhenyoureachaLevel6."EnjoyherstimulationuntilyoureachLevel6.Takeyourtime.Then,whenyoureachLevel6,letherknowbysaying"6."Sheshouldstopthestimulationimmediatelyforatleastseveralseconds.Takeadeepbreath,makesureallofyourmusclesarerelaxed,andletyourselfdropdownacoupleoflevels.Onceyouhavedroppedandarereadytostartupagain,giveherthesignaltoresume.
Continuinginthisfashion,trytoreachLevel7,Level8,Level9,andLevel10,ifpossible.Youmayskipalevelortwoifyouwish.Dependingonhowyouarefeelingduringthisexerciseyoumayormaynotfeellikegoingalltheway
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-24-toorgasm.Ifyoudon'twantto,stoptheexerciseatLevel8,orthelevelofyourchoice.Themostimportantthingisnottopressureyourself.
Itdoesn'tmatterhowhighyouareabletogorightnow.Allthatmattersisthatyouarelearningtolistentoyourbody.Ifyouwouldratherstayatthelowerlevelsforawhile,that'sfine.IfyouwanttogoallthewaytoLevel10andhaveanorgasm,that'sgreattoo.It'simportanttoknowthatit'sentirelyuptoyou.Youshouldbeabletoaskyourself,"WhatdoIwanttoday?"Remember,thisisforyourpleasure.
Ifyoureallytakeyourtimeyoucanstretchthisexerciseouttoanhourorso.Tomakeitanevennicerexperienceforbothofyou,youmaywanttobeginbygivingyourpartneragenitalcaress.Ifshewantsto,shecouldevenlearntohaveherownpeaks.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Pleasenotethatitispossibleto"overpeak."Ifyouhitmorethanthreeorfourreallyhighpeaksinonesession,youmayfindyourselftemporarilyunabletoejaculate.Don'tgetscared,anddon'tcall911.Youhaven'tdoneanythingwrong.Icallthisphenomenon"penisburnout."Itmayfeelabitweird,butitdoesnotlast.Allyouneedtodoisstoptheexercisefortenminutesorsoandeverythingshouldreturntonormal.
OnwardandUpward?
Bythetimeyouhavecompletedtheexercisesinthischapterafewtimes,youaregoingtohaveamuchmoresophisticatedsenseofyourownarousal.That'sreallyimportant.Ifyourpartnerhasdonetheseexerciseswithyou,shetoowillbetunedintoyourbodymuchmoreintimately.Themoresheknowsyourpeaks,themoreshecangetinvolvedlateron,andthatmakesitmoreexcitingforbothofyou.
Practicetheseexercisesasmuchasneededtogettrulycomfortablewithyourdifferentlevels.Rememberthathavinganorgasmisnotyourgoal.Don'tfeellikeyouhavetoclimaxeverytimeoranytimeyoudotheexercise.Feelyourwaythroughtheexerciseseachtime.Ifyouwanttohaveanorgasm,letithappen.Ifyoudon't,don'tpushit.Anddon'trushtheseexercisesbecauseyoucan'twaittogettothefinale.You'llonlywindupcomingbacktothischapterlateron.Youarebuildingyourfoundationhere.Ithasgottobesolid.Sotakeyourtime;you'llbeontheroofsoonenough.
Onceyou'velearnedyourscalesyouarereadytomoveontothenextchapter.Whilesomemenareeagertocontinue,somemaycaretolinger.Ifyou'rehavingsomuchfunyoudon'twanttoleavethischapter,feelfreetohangouthereforawhileandrefineyoursensitivity.Afterall,youcanneverbetooawareofyourownarousal.Butdorememberthatthere'salotmorewaitingforyouwhenyouturnthepage.
CHAPTER8
Ejaculation,andYouOrgasm,Orgasm,Ejaculation,andYou
Learningtobecomemultiorgasmicislikefollowingarecipeforsomeveryexoticdessert.Beforeyoucanmakethedessert,alloftheingredientsmustbeavailable.Chapters6and7helpedustofindandpreparesomeofthemostimportant"ingredients"forthisveryspecialrecipe.You'velearnedaboutthePCmuscle,thekeyingredient,andhopefullyyouaregettingyoursstrongandreadyevenaswespeak.You'velearnedaboutsensatefocus,demand-freeinteraction,andthepointofnoreturn.You'vediscoveredthemanylevelsofyourownarousalandthepleasureofpeakingattheselevels.
Nowwe'rereadytotakeoutthemixingbowlsandstartcombiningsomeofouringredients.Wealsohaveafewmoreitemstoadd.Iknowthatyouareanxioustogettothecrucialexercisesjusttwochaptersaway,butitwon'tbelongnow.Anygoodchefwilltellyouthatthesecrettogreatcookingisallinthepreparation.Sorelax,takeanotherdeepbreath,andtrytogetthemostoutoftheseveryimportantexercises.
MusclePeakingwiththePCPCMuscle
Onceyouhavelearnedhowtopeakatvariouslevels,you'rereadytolearnhowtousethePCmuscletocontrolthosepeaks.AstrongPCmuscleworkslikeagoodsetofbrakesinyourcar.Youcanuseittocontrolyourarousalthewayyouuseyourbrakestocontrolyourspeed,andyoudon'tevenneedalearner'spermittostartpracticing.
Buthere'sthekicker.AstrongPCcandoalotmorethanjustcontrolyourarousal.It'salsothe"brake"youwillusetoholdbackyourejaculationwhileyouarehavinganorgasm.
Inthelastchapteryoulearnedhowtoletyourarousaldropoffbystoppingthestimulationateachpeak.Inthenexttwoexercises,you'regoingtolearnhowtogetthesameresultsfarmoreeffectivelybysqueezingthePCmuscleatthosepeaks.Learninghowtouseyourbrakesduringtheseexercisesisalittletricky.That'sbecausethereareactuallythreedifferentwaystosqueezethePCmusclewhenyouarearoused:
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-25-*Onelonghardsqueeze,or...
*Twomediumsqueezes,or...
*Severalquicksqueezesinarow
Allthreemethodswork,butyou'llprobablyfindthatoneofthemusuallyworksbestforyou.Everymanisdifferent,andthatmeansyouaregoingtohavetoexperimentwiththedifferentstylesofsqueezingtofindthemethodthatinterferesleastwithyourerectionwhilestillgettingthejobdone.
Exercise8isforthosemenwhowillbeworkingalone.Exercise9isformenwhoareworkingwithapartner.Theseexercisesareveryimportant,sotakeyourtime.
Exercise8:KingoftheRoad(solo)
Wearegoingtobeginthisexercisethesamewaywestartedourfirstpeakingexerciseinthepreviouschapter(Exercise6:"ClimbingEverest").Liedownorsitcomfortablyand,usingplentyoflubrication,beginagenitalself-caress.Strokeyourpenisinaslow,gentlefashion,lettingyourarousallevelgraduallyrise.
MakeyourfirstpeakLevel4,alow-levelpeak.Butthistime,asyoureachLevel4youaregoingtocontinuestrokingyourself.Youarenotgoingtostopthestimulation.Instead,whatIwantyoutodoishitthebrakes-thatis,giveyourPCmuscleoneortwogoodstrongsqueezes,orthreequicksqueezes.Thentakeaverylonganddeepbreath-lastingseveralseconds.Onceyouhavedonethis,stopthestimulationandmakesureallofyourmusclesarerelaxed.Nowletyourarousaldroptwolevels,toaLevel2.
Whatyoushouldhavenoticedisthateventhoughyouwerestillcaressingyourself,thePCsqueezestoppedyourarousalfromgoinganyhigher.Itmayhaveeventakenyoudownonelevel.Todroptwolevels,mostmenneedtostopthecaress,whichiswhyIaskyoutostopthestimulationafteryourdeepbreath.
Let'snowtryforapeakatLevel6.Startyourcaressandletyourselffullyexperiencethemanysensationsofyourarousalasyourlevelstartstorise.WhenyoureachaLevel6,donotstopyourcaress.Instead,hitthebrakesagain,givingyourPConeortwofirmsqueezes,orthreequickies.Takealong,deepbreath.NowstopyourstimulationandletyourselfdroptoaLevel4.
Trytocontinuethisexerciseforthenextfifteenortwentyminutes,doingseveralmorepeaks.Ifyoucan,doapeakatLevels7,8,and9.Therearetwothingsyouneedtoknowhere:
1.Thehigheryougo,thelongeranddeeperthatbigbreathneedstobe.
2.Thehigheryougo,theharderyouaregoingtohavetosqueezeyourPCmuscle.
Thisisespeciallytrueatthehighestlevels.AtaLevel9,forexample,youareprobablygoingtohavetogivethatPCmuscleoneortworeallylong,reallyhardsqueezesandyou'regoingtohavetotakeareallylong,reallydeepbreath.Again,it'sjustlikedrivingacar.Athighspeeds,you'vegottoreallyslamonthosebrakestomakeaquickstop.So,enjoythedrive,butdon'tbeafraidtoreallyhityourPCbrakewhenthetimecomes.
Exercise9:MoonlightDrive(withapartner)
PeakingwiththePCmuscleisagreatexercisetodowithapartner.Tobegin,lieonyourbackandgetverycomfortable.Usingplentyoflubrication,yourpartnershouldbeginagenitalcaress.Shecanusemanualand/ororalstimulation-whateversheprefers.Remember,sheisdoingthecaressforherpleasure.
WhenyoureachaLevel4onyourarousalscale,squeezeyourPCmuscle.Takealong,deepbreath.YourPCsqueezeshouldstopyourarousalfromgoinganyhigher,eventhoughyourpartnerhasnotstoppedthestimulation.Itcouldevendropyouonelevel.Yourdeepbreathisasignaltoyourpartnerthatitistimeforhertostophercaress.Sheshouldwaituntiltheendofyourlongbreathbeforesheactuallystops.
Letyourarousaldroptwofulllevels.WhenyouarecertainyouhavereachedaLevel2,youarereadytocontinue.Letyourpartnerknowthatshecanstarthercaressagain.
Thistime,youaregoingtopeakatLevel6.WhenyoureachLevel6,squeezeyourPCmuscle.Takealong,deepbreath.Attheendofthisbreath,yourpartnershouldstopallstimulationandletyoufallbackdowntoLevel4.
ContinuethisexercisethroughLevels7,8,and9.Rememberthatthehigheryougo,theharderyouhavetosqueezethatPCmuscle.Don'tbeafraidtoreallyhitthosebrakes-youcan'twearoutthepads.That'swhyyou'vebeenworkingsohardtomakethemusclestrong.Also,rememberthatthedeepbreathyoutakewhenyousqueezethePCneedstobelongeranddeeperateverylevel.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:You'renottheonlyonewhomightenjoyafewpeaks.Wheneveryoucompleteapeakingsession,askyourpartnerifshewantsoneofherown.Evenifshedoesn't,she'llappreciateyourthoughtfulness.
APositiontoEnvy
Doyouthinkyou'rereadyforalittlemoreexcitement?Whataboutyourpartner?Isshereadytoo?Wehaven't
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-26-talkedmuchaboutintercourseyet,but1thinkwe'rereadytostarttalkingnow.Incorporatingintercourseintoyourexerciseregimenistheultimatethrill.Theexercisesbecomesoexcitingandsoeroticyou'llhaveahardtimecallingthemexercises.But,believeitornot,theyarestillexercises,specificallydesignedtobringyoucloserandclosertoyourgoalofmultipleorgasm.
Ifyouaregettingafairlystrongerectionfromyourpartner'scaresses,thisisagoodtimetointroduceintercourseintotheprogram.Exercise10willshowyouhow,butfirstweneedtotalkforjustamomentaboutpositions.InalloftheyearsmycolleaguesandIhaveworkedwiththesetechniques,oneintercoursepositionhasremainedourfavorite.It'sourexperiencethatthispositionmaximizesthe,benefitsofthetechniquesyouarelearningwhileminimizingeffort.Idon'twanttosoundlikeamechanicalengineerhere,butinthisposition,whichyouareabouttolearn,alloftheanglesareideal.Themotionisidealandthecontactisideal.Bestofall,itfeelsgreat.
Everycoupleisdifferent,anditisentirelypossiblethatyoumayfindoneor-moredifferentpositionsthatworkevenbetterforyouthantheoneIrecommend.That'sfine.Iwouldneverwanttodiscourageyoufromexperimenting.Tryanypositionyouareinterestedin.Havefunwithit.Play.Youmaydiscoveryourownfavorite.Butfirst,letmeteachyoumine.
Thewomanshouldlieonherbackandfeelverycomfortable.Shemaywantapillowunderherbuttocksandthesmallofherbackforextracomfort.Sheraisesherlegsintheair,spreadsthemcomfortably,andbendsherknees.Themanshouldbeonhisknees,inbetweenthewoman'slegs.Notethatthemanisgoingtousehisknees,nothisarms,tosupportmostofhisweight.Itisextremelyimportantthathiscenterofgravityisinhiships.Thisminimizesmuscletensionintheman'storso,enablinghimtofullyrelaxhismusclesduringtheexercise.Itisfromthispositionthathepenetratesthewoman.
NowIknowthatatfirstthispositionmaysoundalittlebitconvoluted.Afterall,we'remakinglovehere,notpretzels.Buthearmeout.Youwillrecallhowimportantitisforyoutohaveyourmusclesasrelaxedaspossibleduringtheseexercises.Incertainintercoursepositions,itissimplynotpossibleforthesemusclestorelax,andthatcanmakelearningthesetechniquesfarmoredifficult.ThepositionIhavejustdescribedalsomakesitveryeasyforthemantobreatheproperly.AsI'vesaidbefore,goodbreathingtechniqueisextremelyimportantintheseexercises.WhilethepositionI'vedescribedisnottheonlypositionthatworks,itisthebestoneIknow...particularlywhenyouarelearningtobecomemultiorgasmicforthefirsttime.Mostmenandwomentellmethatthisisthepositionwithwhichtheyhavetheirgreatestsuccess.Theygetusedtoitveryquickly,andusuallyit'stheonetheycometopreferoverallothers,regardlessofhowmanytheytry.Sogiveitachance.It'shot.Trustme.
Ifyouarenotinacommitted,monogamousrelationshipwhereithasbeenclearlyestablishedthatbothpartnersareHIVnegative,youmustpracticesafesex.
Exercise10:EntertheDragon(withapartner)
ThisexercisebeginsjustlikeExercise9("MoonlightDrive").Youarelyingonyourbackandyourpartnerisgivingyouasensatefocusgenitalcaress.YouaregoingtodoapeakatLevel4andanotheratLevel6.EachtimeyouwilluseyourPCmuscletoputthebrakesonyourarousal.Youwillalsotakeadeep,deepbreathatthesepeaks,atwhichpointyourpartnerwillstophercaress.
IfyouhaveafairlystrongerectionbythetimeyoupeakatLevel6,youarereadytohaveintercoursewithyourpartner.(Ifyoudon'thaveastrongerectionyet,don'tpushit.WaituntilLevel8orLevel9.)Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisswitchpositions.Yourpartnerneedstolieonherback.Sheshouldraiseherlegsintheair,spreadthemapartsufficiently,andbendherkneescomfortably.
Youaregoingtokneelbetweenherlegs,withyourlegsandhipssupportingthebulkofyourweight.Nowyouaregoingtoinsertyourpenisandbeginslowly,gentlythrusting.Inthisexercise,nospeedistooslow.Moveyourpenisinandoutofhervaginabyrollingorrockingyourpelvis.Don'ttenseyourmuscles.
Thisisstillapressure-freesensatefocusexercise.Thinkofyourselfascaressingtheinsideofyourpartner'svaginawithyourpenis.Focusonthesensations.Stayinthehereandnow.Don'tthinkaboutyourperformance.Thisissolelyforyourpleasure.Ifyourmindstartstodrift,gentlybringyourselfbacktothepleasurablesensationsyouarefeelinginthemoment.
Yourpartnershouldbetotallyfocusedonhersensationstoo.Ifshe'sreallypayingattentiontowhatshe'sfeeling,herarousallevelsarelikelytogoupjustlikeyours.Thetwoofyouaregoingtofeelreallyconnectedhere.You'reclimbingthesemountainstogether.
PeakatLevel7.Thismayrequireyoutoslowlyincreasethespeedofyourthrusting.Nothingfrantic,justamediumspeed.WhenyoureachLevel7,hitthebrakesbysqueezingyourPC(hopefullybynowyouhavediscoveredthemethodofsqueezingthatworksbestforyou).Takeadeep,deepbreath.Nowstopmoving.Tellyourpartner,"That'sa7."Thisishercuetostopmovingtoo.Stayinsideyourpartnerandwaitforyourarousaltodroptwolevels.Thisshouldtakeafewseconds.
Onceyourarousalhasdroppedtwolevels,startthrustingagain.Thistime,youwanttopeakatLevel8.Tryto
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-27-keepyourthrustingatmediumspeed.You'renotinanyrush-letyourarousalbuildslowly.WhenyoureachLevel8,squeezeyourPC.Takeadeep,deepbreath.Thenstopmovingforafewseconds.Tellyourpartner,"That'san8."Sheshouldstopmovingtoo,ifshehasn'talready.Stayinsideofherandletyourarousaldropatleasttwolevels.
Youmaybereadytostoptheexercisebynow.Oryoumayfeellikeyou'rejustgettingstarted.IfyoubothwanttotryforaLevel9peak,goforit.RememberthatyouaregoingtohavetosqueezethatPCreallyhardandtakeareallydeepbreathwhenyouhityourhighpeaks.Ifyouwanttogoallthewaytoorgasm,that'sgreattoo.Butfeelfreetostopatanytime.Themostimportantthingisthatbothofyouareenjoyingyourselves.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Youcanlearnallyouneedtoknowaboutpeakingwithouthavinganyintercourse.Themostimportantthingrightnowisthatneitheryounoryourpartnerarefeelinganypressuretoperform.Ifyouwouldprefertolimityourcontacttogenitalcaresses,pleasedo.Andrememberthatifyoudohaveintercourseitshouldbeapressurefreeinteraction.Don'tchangetheintentoftheexercises.
CHAPTER9
FromPeakstoPlateaus
Youarenowreadytopreparethefinalingredientinourrecipeformalemultipleorgasm:theplateau.Aplateau,quitesimply,isanextendedpeak.Thepeaksyouhavebeencreatinginthepreviouschapterlastonlyoneortwoseconds.Well,imaginetakingtheseshortpeaksandstretchingthemoutsotheylastfiveseconds,tenseconds,orevenlongerbeforetheydropoff.Insteadofaquickpeak,younowhaveanexhilaratingplateau.
Inthefollowingexercisesyouaregoingtolearnhowtostretchyourpeaksintoplateauslastinganywherefromseveralsecondstoseveralminutes.Thismaysoundlikealongtimerightnow,butonceyouexperiencejusthowwonderfuleachplateaufeels,you'regoingtowishitlastedevenlonger.Igetexcitedjustthinkingaboutit.
Therearefourdifferentwaystostretchapeakintoaplateau:
*Changingyourbreathing
*SqueezingyourPCmuscle
*Changingyourmotion
*Changingyourfocus
I'mgoingtoteachyouallfourofthesemethodsinthefollowingexercises.Allfourareimportant,forreasonsIwilldiscusslater.Whatyou'rereallydoingintheseplateauingexercisesislearninghowtomanipulateandprolongyourownarousalusingdifferenttypesofstimulation.You'relearningto"play"withyourlevels-tocontrolthemandenjoytheminnewandexcitingways.Thiskindofcontrolisgoingtopavethewaytowardyourfirstmultipleorgasm.
Thesetechniquesarealittlebitmoretrickythananythingyou'vetriedsofar,buttherewardsareworththeeffort.So,assumingyouarerestedandready,let'sgetbacktowork.NotethatExercise11doesnotrequireapartner,whileExercise12isdonewithapartner.
Exercise11:BroncoBuster(solo)
Lieonyourbackorsitinachairandgetverycomfortable.Usingplentyoflubrication,beginagenitalcaress.StartworkingtowardaLevel5peak.Usingthefirsttechnique–changingyourbreathing-youareactuallygoingtostretchthatLevel5peakintoaLevel5plateau.
AsyoureachLevel5youwanttostartthinkingaboutmakingyourfirstplateau.Paycloseattentiontoyourarousallevel.Youshouldbegettingprettygoodatthisbynow.Canyoutellthedifferencebetweena"5"anda"5.5"?
BeforeyoureachLevel6,slowdownyourbreathing.Don'tchangeanythingelse.Byintentionallyslowingyourbreathingpattern,yourarousallevelshouldstarttofall.Paycloseattentionasitstartstodip.OnceitdropsbelowLevel5,youwanttochangeyourbreathingagain.Thistime,youwanttobreathefaster-soyou'realmostpanting.Ifyouarebreathingfastenough,yourarousallevelwillrisebacktoLevel5orhigher.
Justbymanipulatingyourbreathing-alternatingbetweenslowingitdownandspeedingitupyoushouldbeabletohoveratLevel5(plusorminushalfalevel).Alotofguyscallthis"ridinga5."Seeifyoucanstaythereforatleastafewseconds.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Youdon'twanttodothisparticularbreathingmanipulationtoolongbecauseyoumighthyperventilate.Sixtysecondsistoolong.Tenorfifteensecondsisplenty.Youcancreatelongerplateauswiththeotherthreetechniques.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-28-Takearest,lettingyourarousaldroponeortwolevels.Thenbeginstrokingyourselfagainsoyourarousalstartstoclimb.Thistime,let'strytoplateauatLevel6usingthesecondtechnique:squeezingthePCmuscle.
AsyoureachLevel6youwanttobethinkingaboutyourplateau.Don'tstopyourcaress.Letyourarousalcontinuetorise.ButbythetimeyoureachLevel6.5,youneedtotakeaction.It'ssimple:giveyourPCacoupleofsqueezes.That'sall.Don'tchangeanythingelse;thistimeitisonlythePCyou'regoingtoworkwith.
SqueezingthePCshouldstopyourarousalfromclimbinganyhigher,.andcouldbringyoudownhalfalevelormore.Continueyourcaresswiththesameintensityandletyourlevelriseagain.EverytimeyoupassLevel6usethePCtobringyoubackdown.Tryto"ride"thatLevel6foratleasttenorfifteenseconds.Yeehaa!You'vecreatedaplateauwiththePCmuscle.
Nowlet'strythethirdtechnique:changingyourmotion.Thistime,youaregoingtostretchyourpeakintoaplateaubychangingthespeedatwhichyoustrokeyourpenis.BeginasthoughyouweregoingtopeakatLevel7.OnceyouhavepassedLevel7,slowyourmotiondown.Theshiftshouldloweryourarousalalmostimmediately.Letyourselfdipbelowa"7."Nowspeedupyourmotiontorisebackup.
Wheneveryouwanttoraiseyourlevel,speedupyourstroke.Wheneveryouwanttodropit,slowdown.It'sthatsimple.TrytomaintainyourLevel7plateauforatleastafewseconds.Haveagoodride.Thefourthwaytostretchapeakintoaplateauistochangethefocus.Inthisexercise,changingthefocusmeanschangingtheareaofyourgenitalsthatyouarestimulating(itwillhaveadifferentmeaninginotherexercises).Let'ssayyou'vebeencaressingtheheadofyourpenis.Tochangethefocus,you'dstoptouchingtheheadandstartcaressingthetesticleortheshaft.Soundsimple?Good.Let'stryit.
Thistime,let'sshootforLevel8.CaressyourselfasthoughyouweregoingtopeakatLevel8,butwhenyouhityour"8,"don'tstop.Somewherebetween"8"and"8.5"youwanttochangethefocusofyourcaress.Yourarousalshouldstarttodrop.AsyourarousaldipsbelowLevel8,shiftbacktotheareayouweretouchingbeforeorintensifythepressureofyourtouch.Thisshouldbringyoubackup.Ifyougettoohigh,shiftagain.UsethistechniquetoextendyourLevel8peakintoaten-orfifteen-secondplateau.
You'reafull-fledgedbroncobusternow.Congratulationscowboy!cowboy!You're
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Thekeytomasteringtheplateauislearningtostayrelaxedwhileyoucontinuetostimulateyourself.Thisgetseasiertodoonceyoutrustthatthefourdifferenttechniquesyou'vejustlearnedreallywork.Withsomepractice,youcanlearntorideatreallyintenselevels,suchasLevel9orevenLevel9.5.
Youcanalsolearnhowtoplateauwithyourpartner.Extendingyourarousalextendsyourpartner'spleasuretoo,makingthisexerciseafavoriteamongwomen.Somemenfinditeasiertolearnplateauingtechniqueswithapartnerwhereasothersfinditeasiertoworkalone.Tryitbothways,ifyoulike,andseewhat'sbestforyou.
EndlessSummer(withapartner)Exercise12:12:Endless
Onceagain,youneedtolieonyourbackandgetcomfortable.Yourpartnerisgoingtobeginasensatefocusgenitalcaress.Thisisademand-freeexercise.Youshouldbothbefocusingonthesensations-nothingmore.
YourfirstplateauisgoingtobeatLevel4,andyouaregoingtocreateitbycontrollingyourbreathing.AsyoureachLevel4,startbreathingmoreslowlyanddeeply.Yourarousalshouldstarttodrop,eventhoughyourpartneriscontinuinghercaress.Whenyoudiptoa"3.5"startbreathingfaster,asthoughyouwerepanting.Yourlevelshouldrise.SlowdownyourbreathingagainonceyoupassLevel4.
Byalternatingbetweenslowbreathingandpanting,youshouldbeabletomaintainyourplateauatLevel4fortenorfifteenseconds.It'slikecatchingawaveandridingit.Justrememberthatyoudon'twanttomanipulateyourbreathingforverylongbecauseyouruntheriskofhyperventilating.
TryyournextplateauatLevel6.Thistime,you'regoingtouseyourPCmuscletohelpyouridethewave.
Yourpartneriscontinuinghercaress.Yourarousallevelisrising.WhenyoureachapointjustbeyondLevel6,giveyourPCmuscleacoupleofsqueezes.Yourlevelshouldstoprising-itcouldevendropslightly.
Yourpartnerisstillcontinuinghercaress.Focusonherstimulation.Everytimeyourlevelhits"6.5,"squeezethatmuscle.Trytoholdthisplateauforatleastfifteenseconds.Nowlet'stryaplateauatLevel7withthethirdtechnique:changingyourmotion.Inthelastexercise,youchangedyourhandmotion.Butyou'reworkingwithapartnernow.Sointhisexercise,you'regoingtochangethemotionofyourpelvis.
Asyourpartnercaressesyou,tryrespondingwithsomegentlethrustsandrollsofyourpelvis.Nothingtooquickorabrupt,andnothingtoostiff.Justnice,easythrustsandrolls.Letyourarousalrise.
OnceyoupassLevel7,slowdownorstopyourpelvicmotion.`Yourlevelshouldstarttodrop,eventhoughyourpartneriscontinuinghercaress.Ifyoudipbelow"7,"speedupyourmovements.Yourlevelshouldstarttoriseagain.It'sthatsimple.Usingthistechnique,trytorideLevel7foratleastfifteenseconds.
Nowlet'strythefourthtechnique-switchingthefocus-tocreateaplateauatLevel8.
Inchapter6youlearnedhowtofocusallofyourattentionontheareasthatyouoryourpartnerweretouchingatthatverymoment.Butitisalsopossibletointentionallyshiftyourfocustoanareathatisnotbeingtouchedat
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-29-thatmoment.Thisisdifferentfromchangingtheareawhereyouarebeingtouched,asyoudidinthepreviousexercise.Thistime,youareonlymakingamentalshiftinyourfocus.
Let'ssaythatyourpartnerhasbeenfocusinghercaressontheheadofyourpenis.Yourattentionhasbeenfocusedtheretoo.Bynow,thatareaisfeelingextremelysensitiveandyouareveryaroused.AsyoupassLevel8,tryshiftingyourmentalfocustoanareasheisnotstimulatingasintensely.Focusontheshaftofyourpenis,forexample.Orfocusonthefeelingofherbodylyingacrossyours.Yourlevelshouldstarttodrop.
Ifyourleveldipsbelow"8,"shiftyourfocusbacktotheareaonwhichyourpartnerisconcentrating.Yourlevelshouldstarttoriseagain.That'sallthereistoit.Ifyouwanttogohigher,focusontheareabeingstimulated.Ifyouwanttogolower,focusonanareanotbeingstimulatedsointensely.
ThisisnotthesameasthinkingaboutbaseballoryouroldAuntIrma.Youarenottryingtomentallyleavetheroom.Youarestayingveryconnectedtoyourbodyandveryconnectedtoyourpartner.Youareonlychangingthepointofconnection.Usingthisfourthtechnique,youshouldbeabletomaintainaplateauatLevel8foratleastfifteenseconds,ifnotmore.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Youdon'thavetoworkinanyparticularorderandyoudon'thavetoworkatanyparticularlevel.Ijustfindthatittendstobeeasierwhenyouworkfromlowtohigh.Ialsodon'trecommenddoingmorethanfourplateausinanyonesession.Savesomethingfornexttime.
BoardStudentDriverononBoard
Youhavenowlearnedfourdifferentwaystocreateaplateau.Somemayappealtoyoumorethanothers,orworkmoreeffectivelythanothers,butthetruthis,thebestwaytocreatelong,fabulousplateausistousethesefourtechniquesalltogether.
Nowthatmaysoundabitmindboggling.Atthispoint,you'vebarelymasteredeachoneindividually.Butit'salotlikelearningtodriveacar.Rememberhowyoufeltwhenyougotbehindthewheelforthefirsttime?Thereyouwere,staringdownattheclutch,thestick,thebrakes,thegas,andtheturnsignals,thinking,"HowamIevergoingtolearntodoallofthesethingsatthesametime?"Butyoudid,didn'tyou?
Whenyoulearnedtodriveacar,youdidn'tstartbydoingeverythingatonce.Youaddedthingsin,oneortwoatatime.Well,that'swhatyou'regoingtodointheseplateauingexercises.Sospendsometimewiththeseexercises.Whenyougetcomfortablewithoneplateauingtechnique,trytoaddasecond,andthenathird.Beforeyouknowit,workingsimultaneouslywithallfourmethodswillbealmostautomatic.
Don'tworryifyou'renotaquickstudy.Youdon'thavetoworkwithallfourtechniquessimultaneouslytohavegreatplateaus.It'sjusteasierwhenyou'reusingallfourtogether.That'sprobablyhardtoimaginerightnow,butyou'llunderstandonceyou'vehadalittlepractice.
FeelLikeMakin'Love?
It'snicetobebesideyourpartnerwhenyou'relearninghowtocreateplateausforthefirsttime.Butonceyou'vestartedgettingcomfortablewithyournewesttechniques,itmightbeevennicertobeinsideher.
There'ssomethingaboutbeinginsideawomanthatgivesmostmenextraincentivetostretchoutthoseplateaus.Yourpartnerisgoingtobejustasintotheseexercisesasyouare;shemayevenbedoingalittleplateauingofherown.AlotofwomenwhoaremultiorgasmicareactuallyplateauingatLevel9.9.TheirarousalisupsohighforsolongthattheyjuststartcrossingovertoLevel10overandover,havingorgasmafterorgasm.You'regoingtolearnadifferentmethod-somethingthatworksbetterformen-butIthoughtyou'dappreciateknowingthislittlepieceofmultipleorgasmtrivia.
Ifyoucanhaveintercoursewithoutputtinganypressureonyourselforonyourpartner,tryhavingafewplateausinsideyourpartner.Experimentwithmaintainingdifferentlevelsofarousalduringintercourse.Thefourtechniquesyouwillbeusingarethesame:changingyourbreathing,squeezingyourPCmuscle,changingyourmotion,andchangingyourfocus.Beadventurous.Party.Justdon'tforgetthatyoubothhavejobstogotoonMondaymorning.
Pleasedorememberthatyoudon'thavetohaveintercourseinanyoftheseexercisestomakethemwonderfulandspecial.Ifyou'restillmostcomfortablewiththegenitalcaress,staywithitfornow.Therewillbeplentyofopportunitiesforintercourselateron,onceyouhavesolidifiedyournewskills.Themostimportantthingrightnowistojustkeeppracticing,andpracticing,andpracticing...
CHAPTER10
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-30-YourFirstMultipleOrgasm
AllisonandDaniel,whoyoureadaboutinthebeginningofthisbook,areonceagainmakingloveonaSundaymorning.Theyarethesametwopeopletheywereamonthago,buttheydon'tfeellikethesametwopeople.
TheirlovemakingstartedwhenDanielwalkedoutoftheshowerandwasgreetedbyAllison,whowaswearingnothingbutalargeblueandwhitestripedbathtowel.Whenshewrappedthetowelaroundthetwoofthem,Danielrespondedimmediately.
Rightnowtheyareontopoftheirqueen-sizebedwheretheyhavebeenmakingloveforthelasttenminutes.Theyarebothtotallyturnedon,andDanielfeelsheisreadytohaveanorgasm,butDanielknowsthatAllisonneedsanotherfiveminutesofintercoursebeforeshecanclimax.Noproblem.
WhatwasonceasourceofincrediblestressforDanielanddisappointmentforAllisonisnolonger.Danielknowsthatthistimehecanhaveapowerfulorgasmwithoutdisturbingtheeroticconnection.Allison,whoknowsthatDaniel'sorgasmdoesnotsignaltheendoftheirlovemaking,becomesevenmoreexcited.It'sthrillingforhertobewithDaniel,knowingthathecanclimaxandstillkeepgoing.
Afterhisfirstorgasm,DanielisabletomaintainhiserectionandcontinuethrustinguntilAllisonalsoreachesorgasm.AllisonissoexcitedbyDanielthatsheactuallyreachesherclimaxmuchsoonerthanhehadanticipated.
Danielfeelsthathecouldkeepgoingforanothertwentyminutes,butthechimeofthegrandfatherclockinthehallremindshimthattheyaresupposedtomeetfriendsforbrunch,andthattheyhadbetterstartmovinginthatdirection.Atthispoint,Danieldecidestohavehissecondorgasm.Thistime,hewillejaculate.
Untilrecently,Daniel,likeyou,knewonlyonetypeoforgasm:asingleorgasmaccompaniedbysimultaneousejaculation.Notanymore.Today,heunderstandsthat:
*Orgasmandejaculationdonothavetooccurtogether;theyaretwodistinctphenomenathatcanbeexperiencedasseparatepleasures.
*Anonejaculatoryorgasmfeelsasgood,ifnotbetter,thanaconventionalorgasm.
*Havinganonejaculatoryorgasmenablesyoutomaintainanerectionandcontinueintercourse.
*Itispossibletohaveasecondorgasmsoonafteryourfirstorgasm.Itisevenpossibletohaveathirdorfourthorgasm,whetherornotyouejaculatewithanyorallofyourorgasms.Danielhaslearnedallofthisthroughhisownexperience.Nowitistimeforyoutolearn.
Youareabouttohaveyourfirstmultipleorgasm.Prepareyourself-lifemayneverbequitethesameagain.Youhavereachedthispointbecauseyouhaveworkedhard.Youhaveturnedweakmuscleintosteel,masteredthemostsubtlenuancesofyourownphysiology,ascendeddifficultpeaks,andtraversedmanydauntingplateaus.Youmayevenhaveslainadragonortwoalongtheway.Youhavemetallthechallenges,andprobablyhadquiteabitoffundoingso.It'stimetoridbothyouandyourdamselofyourdistress.
Inthischapteryouwilllearnthetechniquesthatwilltransformyoufromamild-manneredorgasmicmanintoamultiorgasmicsuperhero.Ifyouhavefollowedmyinstructionscarefullyanddoneyourhomeworkthoroughly,thetransformationwillnotbedifficult.Youwillnotneedaphonebooth.Youwillnotneedtightsandacape.Youwillnotneedtohideyouridentityfromyourlovedones.Inthislegionofsuperheroes,enthusiasmandabitofhardworkaretheonlyrequirementsforadmission.
TwoWaystotheTop
Asyouwillsoonsee,thekeytoseparatingorgasmfromejaculationtiesintheproperuseofawell-developedPCmuscle.IfyouarenotyetconfidentinthepowerofyourPC,nowisthetimetogobacktotheearlierexercisesandbuildthenecessarystrength.You'llgettothegoodstuffsoonenough,andyourpatienceandeffortswillberewardedinextraordinaryways.If,ontheotherhand,yourPChasdoneitsjobtoyoursatisfactioninallofthepreviousexercises,youareprobablyreadytotakethefinalsteps.
Thereareactuallymanypathstoachievingmalemultipleorgasm.Inthischapter,you'regoingtolearntwoofthem.Thesechoiceshavenotbeenmadearbitrarily.ThetwomethodsinthischapterarethetwomethodsinwhichIhavethemostconfidence.TheyarethemethodsmycolleaguesandIhaveworkedwiththemostandlikethemost.
Thefirstmethodyouaregoingtolearniswhatwecallthe"one-shot"technique.ItisashortcutofsortsthatwasdevelopedbymycolleagueandmentorDr.MichaelRiskin.Dr.Riskincallsitaone-shottechniquebecausehecanusuallyteachthetechniqueinonlyoneofficesession(assumingyou'vedoneallofthepreparatoryworkpresentedintheprecedingchapters).Youwalkintotheofficeaman,andyouwalkoutamultiorgasmicman.Amazing.
ThesecondmethodistheoneIteachmostofteninprivatepracticewithmyclients.I'mabitmoreconservativethansomeofmycolleagues,andthismethodtakesalittlebitlongertolearn,whetheryouarelearningathomeoratmyoffice.Buttheresultsarealwaysimpressive.
Attheclinic,weliketoteaseeachotheraboutwhosetechniquesarebest.Itcertainlymakesforinteresting
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-31-conversationatthewatercooler,butweallknowthatouropinionsareonlyouropinions.Thetruthis,everyclienthashisownpreferences,andthereisnowaytopredictyours.AsI'vesaidbefore,everymanisslightlydifferent,andwhatworksbestorfeelsbestforonedoesnotworkaswellorfeelasgoodforthenext.Wehaveallseentheeffectivenessofbothmethodsandweknowthey'rebothgood.Inthischapter,you'llhavetheopportunitytoexperimentwithbothanddecideforyourself.
True(Or,TheTortoiseandtheHareRevisited)FairyTalesCanComeComeTrue(Or,The
Dr.Riskin'sone-shottechniqueisthefastestwayIknowforamantoreachhisfirstmultipleorgasm.Itisalsoeasiertolearnthanthesecondmethod.Whenitworks,it'samazing.Butpleasetakenote:Theone-shottechniquedoesnotworkforeveryman.Itisashortcut,andshortcutsdonotalwayswork.Thesecondmethodinthischapterisfarmorethoroughandfarmorefoolproof.Ittakesalittlemoretimetolearn,butthepayoffawaits.
Ifthisone-shotmethoddoesnotworkforyou,youhaveabsolutelynoreasontogetdiscouraged.Itdoesnotmeanthatthereissomethingwrongwithyourequipmentanditdoesnotmeanthatyouwillneverhaveamultipleorgasm.Allitmeansisthatyouspentafewminutestryingsomethingnew,anditdidn'twork.Youwilllearntheone-shotmethodfirstbecauseitdoessavetime.
Iftheone-shottechniquedoesnotworkforyou,donotstop.DonotpassGO.Donotskipaturn.DonotpackyourbagsandheadforFiji.Instead,pleasegoimmediatelytothesecondsetofexercisesinthischapter.Thesemorecomprehensivetechniquesarenothardertolearn.Therearemorestepsintheprocess,butitisnotadifficultprocessifyoufollowmyinstructions.Yes,itmaytakeyouabitlongerbeforeyouhaveyourfirstmultipleorgasm,butyouwillhaveit.Plus,youwillalsohavelearnedavaluablelessonaboutthebenefitsofpatienceandcommitment.Thensomeday,yearsfromnow,whenyouaresittingwithyourgreat-grandchildrenreading"TheTortoiseandtheHare,"you'llrememberthesemoments,andtellthestorywithmuchgreaterconviction.
Cheating,PleaseNoNoCheating,
Beforewegetstarted,letmestressonelasttimethatthetechniquespresentedinthischapterrequireapowerfulPCmusclethatisunderyourcontrol.Thisisespeciallytruefortheone-shottechnique.Youalsoneedtobeveryconfidentinyourabilitytopeakand/orplateauatveryhigharousallevels.
Icanappreciatethefactthatyouwanttogettothegoodstuff,andIapplaudyourenthusiasm.Itmustbehardnottorushwhennirvanaawaits,butthisisanotherinstanceinwhichrushingcanruinsex.
Mygrandfatherusedtosay,"It'shardtoreachnirvanaifthetiresonthebusdon'thaveenoughair."(Iguessyoucanunderstandwhyheandmygrandmothergotalongsowell.)Pleasetakeamomentrightnowto"checkyourtires."Pleaseexaminehowdiligentyouhavebeenfollowingtheexerciseregimenuntilthispoint.Behonestwithyourself.Ifyouaretheleastbitunsureabouthowthoroughyou'vebeen,nowisthetimetogobacktotheearlierexercisesandreallygiveityourall.
Thereisonlyoneshortcutinthisbook,andthat'stheoneyou'reabouttolearn.Ifyouhavetriedtocutcornerswithanyofthepreviousexercises,youaregoingtobeveryfrustratedanddisappointedwhenyouattempttheexercisesinthischapter.Achievingmalemultipleorgasmiseasyifyoudothework,butifyoudon'tdothework,itusuallydoesn'thappen.
TheShotHeardRoundtheWorld
Exercises13and14weredevelopedbyDr.MichaelRiskinthroughhisworkwithhundredsofmenattheRiskin-BankerPsychotherapyCenter.Hehasspentmanyyearsrefiningandperfectinghistechniques,andIamhappytobeabletopresentthemhere.Evenifthismethoddoesn'tworkforyou,it'sfuntotry.Sogoforit.Exercise13isdonewithapartnerandExercise14isdonewithoutapartner.
DocRiskin'sMagicMotion(withapartner)Exercise13:13:Doc
Thisexercisebeginswiththemanlyingonhisback.Yourpartnerbeginsbygivingyouagenitalcaresswithherhandsand/ormouth.Letyourarousalbuild.ThefirstthingyouaregoingtodoispeakatLevel4.WhenyoureachLevel4,letyourpartnerknow.Sheshouldstopthestimulationandletyoudropacoupleoflevels.UseyourPCtohelpcontrolthesituation.
Askyourpartnertoresumethestimulation.WhenyoureachLevel5,letherknow.Sheshouldstopagainandletyoudropacoupleoflevels.UseyourPCifyouneedto.NowstartagainanddoapeaktoLevel6.Itshouldtakebetweenthreeandfiveminutestocompleteeachpeak.Ifyouwanttotakemoretime,stretchyourpeaksintoplateaususingthetechniqueswepracticedinthepreviouschapter.
Atthispointyouaregoingtogetintothepositionwehavebeenusingforintercourse.Youshouldbefeelingprettyarousedrightnow,andyouprobablyhaveatleastapartialerectionifnotafullerection.
Insertyourpenisintoyourpartnerandbeginslowlythrusting.Youshouldbetakingslow,focused,deep
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-32-breathstheentiretime.Focusonwhatyouarefeeling.Focusoneverythrust.Yourpartnershouldalsobefocusingonthethrustsandfocusingonherfeelings.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Thetwoofyouareinthistogether.Ifyourpartneriscountingthecracksintheceiling,itdefeatsthewholepurposeofthesetechniques.Onlypracticethepartnerexerciseswhenbothofyouarereallyintoit.Ifyouwanttopracticeandshedoesn't,flysolo.
PeakuptoLevel7.WhenyoureachLevel7,eitherslowdownorstopthrustinguntilyourarousaldropsacoupleoflevels.Stayinthemoment.NowresumeoraccelerateyourthrustingandpeakuptoLevel8.Letyourarousaldropacoupleoflevelsonceagain.Next,peakuptoLevel9.Thendropdownyetagain.Youmayprefertotakemoretimebystretchingthesepeaksintolongerplateaus.
Nowhere'sthetrickypart.ThistimeyouaregoingtoresumethrustingpastLevel9,allthewaytoyourpointofinevitability.(Rememberthat'sthepsychologicalpointwhereitbecomescleartoyouthatejaculationisgoingtohappen,nomatterwhat.)Assoonasyouhityourpointofnoreturn,squeezeyourPCmuscleashardasyoucanfortensecondsandopenyoureyes.Takeareallydeepbreath.Nowkeepthrusting!Don'tstop!
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Mostpeopleinstinctivelyclosetheireyesastheyapproachorgasm.Tomakethistechniquework,youmustopenyoureyesduringthePCsqueeze.Idon'tknowwhy.AllIknowisthatitdoesn'tworkifyoukeepyoureyesclosed.Keepingtheeyesopenisthepartofthistechniquethatmenaremostlikelytoforget.
Ifyoucandoallofthesethingssimultaneously,yourbodyisgoingtogointoorgasmatthisverymoment.Yourheartwillpound,you'llsweat,andyourmuscleswillcontract.Allofthesensationsofatleastapartial,ifnotafull,orgasmwillbethere.Butyouwillnotejaculate.YourPChasstoppedyourejaculationwhilestillallowingyourbodytogointoorgasm.
Onceyou'veexperiencedthispartialorfullorgasmyouneedtoslowdownforawhile.Relaxforafewseconds-you'veearnedit.Youcancontinuethrusting,butitshouldn'tbevigorous.Instead,beginsomerealslow,easythrustingaccompaniedbysomeslowbreathing.
Rightnowyou'reprobablymarvelingatthefactthatyou'vejusthadanorgasmandyou'restillthrusting.Yourpartnerisprobablymarvelingatittoo.Patyourselfontheback.Pateachotherontheback.Pateachotheranywhereyouwant.Butremember,we'renotdoneyet.Onedown,onetogo.
Onceyouareincontrolofyourbreathingagain,it'stimetostartbacktowardthetop.Slowlyincreasethespeedofyourthrusting.Keepyourfocus.Letyourarousallevelriseoncemore.Ifyouwanttodomorepeaksorplateaus,goahead.Butatthispointyoumayprefertojustletyourselfgostraighttothetop.(Pleasenotethatatthispointyousimplyarelearningtohavetwoorgasmsinasinglesessionofintercourse.Inchapter11wewilltalkmoreaboutlengtheningtheamountoftimebetweenorgasms,havingmorethantwoorgasms,etc.)
Whenyoufeelyourorgasmcomingononceagain,don'ttrytomanipulateit.Don'ttrytostopyourejaculationthistime.You'vedoneenoughworkforoneday.Focusfullyonthesensationsofyourarousal,andletyourselfhaveasecondclimax-ejaculationandall.
Nowyoureallyneedtocongratulateyourselfandeachother.Youhavejusthadyourfirstmultipleorgasm.
Isuspectthatoneofthereasonswhytheone-shotmethoddoesn'tworkforeverymanisbecause,asyoumayhavealreadydiscovered,itishardtodo.Therearesomanythingstocoordinate,particularlyatthepointwhereyouhavetosqueezeyourPC,takeadeepbreath,openyoureyes,andkeepthrusting-allatthesametime.That'sharderthanlearningtoplaythepiano.
Thegoodnewsisthatyourpartnercanbeextremelyhelpfulhere.Ifsheiskeepingpacewithyou,heractionscanreinforceyouractions.Ithelpsalotifshetakesadeepbreathwhenyoutakeadeepbreath.Ithelpsifshekeepsmovingasareminderforyoutokeepmoving.Andifsheopenshereyesandseesthatyouhaven'topenedyours,shecantellyou.
andaHalfOrgasmsAreBetterThanOneOneOneandOrgasmsAre
Somemenhavetwofullorgasmsthefirsttimetheytrytheone-shottechnique.Somemencannotworkwiththismethodatall.Butmostmenfallsomewhereinbetween.Forthesemen,thefirstfewattemptsatmasteringtheone-shottechniqueyieldsomeunusualresults.
Whetheryouarepracticingtheone-shottechniqueorthesecond,moreconservativemethod,whichwillbepresentedshortly,youarelikelytoexperienceanynumberofnewand/orunusualsensationsbeforeyouhaveyourfirsttruemultipleorgasm.Forexample:
*Youmayfeellikeyoumissedanorgasm.
*Youmayhaveapartialorgasmthatisn'tterriblyimpressive.
*Youmayhaveapartialejaculationwithoutanorgasmafteryouhaveyourfirstorgasm.
Alloftheseresponsesarecompletelynormal.Thereisabsolutelynothingtoworryabout.Infact,these
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-33-seeminglystrangephysiologicalexperiencesareallclearsignsthatyouareonyourwaytohavingyourfirstfullmultipleorgasm.Didyouhearthat?Thesearegoodsigns,notbadsigns.Mostmenwhoarelearningtobecomemultiorgasmichaveatleastoneoftheseunusualresponsesbeforetheirtechniquesreally"click."It'sallpartoftheprocess.Ifyouaren'texpectingit,itcanbekindofscary.Butifyouareexpectingit,it'spositivereinforcement.
Soputawayyourworrybeads,cancelyourappointmentwiththeurologist,andgetbacktowork.Yourfirstfullmultipleorgasmawaits...anditwon'tbelongnow.
Last-MinuteJittersBeforetheBigDebut?
Havingyourfirstmultipleorgasmisaverybigdeal.Somemenwanttoshareeverymomentofitwiththeirpartnerswhereasothermengetalittlenervousandprefertogainsomemasteryoverthesetechniquesbeforetheyhosttheirfirstcoming-outparty.Likemostoftheexercisesinthisbook,theone-shotmethodcanbelearnedwithorwithoutapartner.It'sreallyuptoyouandyourpartnertodecidewhetherornotyourfirstmultipleorgasmwillbeaprivateeventorasemiprivateevent(thoughIdiscourageyoufromtryingtoselltherightstopay-per-view).
Ifyouarefeelingabitnervousabouthavingyourfirstmultipleorgasm,Exercise14willteachyouhowtomastertheone-shottechniquewithoutapartner.Onceyou'vehadafewmultipleorgasmsonyourownandyou'refeelingmoreconfident,youcanthenreturnwithyourpartnertoExercise13.
Evenifyouhaveyourfirstmultipleorgasmwithyourpartner,youmaywanttopracticetheone-shottechniqueonyourownatsomepoint.Ifthisisthecase,Exercise14istheexerciseforyou.Manymenliketopracticewithoutapartnerandsomewouldn'thaveitanyotherway.Thisdoesn'tmeantheydon'tlovetheirpartners.Itjustmeansthey'redriventoexcel.Oneclientrecentlytoldme,"Practicingonmyownwasanessentialpartoflearningthefinepointsofmypersonalresponse.Ihaveincrediblecontrolnow.IthinkitwouldhavebeenmuchhardertodevelopthatifIwasalwaysdoingthiswithmypartner."Asalways,yourapproachtolearningthesetechniquesisachoiceforyouandyourpartnertomake.Thereisnorightorwrongway.
One-ManMissiontoMars(solo)Exercise14:14:One-ManMars(solo)
Thisexercisebeginslike.apeakingexercise.Usingplentyoflubrication,beginstrokingyourpenis.Feelyourarousallevelstarttorise.ThefirstthingyouwanttodoispeakatLevel4usingyourPCmuscle(thewayyoudidinExercises4and5).Afteryouhavedroppedacoupleoflevels,intensifyyourstimulationanddoapeakatLevel6.Onceagain,useyourPCmuscletocontrolyourpeak.Next,peakatLevel8.ThenatLevel9.Takeyourtime.Thesefirstfourpeaksshouldtakeatleastfifteenortwentyminutestocomplete.(Ifyouwanttotakeevenmoretime,trytoplateauateachoftheselevels.)
Whatyouaregoingtodonowisreallypushthispeakingexercise.IntensifyyourstimulationonceagainandpeaktoLevel9.5.UseyourPCmuscletostopyourarousalfromincreasing.Youneedtobereallyincontrolofyourbodytodothis.You'regettingveryclosetothetopnowandthetemptationtoletyourselfgoandhaveanorgasmisenormous.Hanginthereifyoucan.Itwon'tbelongnow.
Yourfinalpeakisgoingtobeatthepointofinevitability–yourpsychologicalpointofnoreturnwhereejaculationfeelsimminent.Talkaboutdancingonthevolcano.Thisisthetoughestpeakyou'lleverclimb.
Youhavetobetotallytunedintoyourbodyrightnow.You'regoingtobestrokingyourpenisintensely,headingrighttowardejaculation.Butthemomentyoureachyourpointofinevitability–notonesecondlater,butatthatverymoment-youwanttoslamonthePCmuscle.Keepstrokingyourpenisjustasfastasyou'vebeenstrokinguptothispoint.Takeareallydeepbreath.Nowopenyoureyesandkeepthemopen.HoldyourPCmuscleastightasyoucanforabouttenseconds.
Whew...Igetexhaustedjustdescribingit.Ifyoucandoallofthesethingsatyourpointofinevitability,whatwillhappenhereisthatyourbodywillgointoorgasm.Butifyou'vesqueezedhardenoughandlongenoughwithyourPC,youwillnotejaculate.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Itmaysoundsilly,butyoumustopenyoureyesthemomentyoustartyourPCsqueezetomakethistechniquework.Besides,thisisaneventyoudon'twanttomiss.
Takeadeepbreathagain.SlowdownthestimulationandletyourarousaldipdowntoLevel8orLevel7.You'regoingtobeverytiredatthispoint,andprobablyprettysweaty.Butyou'renotfarfromhavingyourfirstmultipleorgasm.
Onceyou've"rested"foramoment,intensifyyourstimulationonceagain.Letyourarousallevelrise.Butthistime,youdon'twanttogetintheway.Youdon'twanttosqueezeyourPCmuscleandyoudon'twanttoslowyourmotion.Allyouwanttodoisletyourselfhaveafullorgasm,completewithejaculation.Andthat,myfriend,isamultipleorgasm.
IhavesaiditbeforebutIneedtosayitagain.Thefirstfewtimesyoutryanexerciselikethisyoumayexperienceanynumberofunusualsensations,suchasapartialorgasmora"skipped"orgasm.Thesethingsmay
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-34-notfeelverynormalbuttheyallareverynormal,andthereisnoreasontobeconcerned.Yourbodyislearningsomethingnew,andtheseareallencouragingsignsofyourdevelopment.Sodon'tworry...behappy.
Oneotherthing.Pleaserememberthatthistechniquedoesnotworkforeveryman.Itisdifficulttocoordinatesomanyimportantactionsattheexactpointofinevitability,butfailuretodosomayleaveyouwithlessthanimpressiveresults.Donotdespair.It'sfullspeedahead,ontothesecondmethod!AsIsaidearlier,thesecondmethodisabitmorework,butitisalsofarmorefoolproof.
ConsciousnessTwoStepstoHigherHigherConsciousness
WhenIteachmenhowtohavemultipleorgasms,Itendtouseamoreconservativeapproachthantheone-shotmethod.BecauseIamawoman,Idon'tliketomakeanyassumptionsaboutwhattheaveragemancanorcannotdowithhisequipment.Theconservativeapproachtakesintoaccountawiderangeofdifferencesamongmen,andthatmakesmefeelmoreconfidentthatitwillworkforyou,thereader.IfIwereamusicteacher,Iwouldprobablystartallofmystudentswithclassicalmusictheoryandtechnique.Itmightnotbeasmuchfuninthebeginning,butit'sasolidfoundationyoucanworkfromforever.
Attheclinic,itusuallytakesthreesessionstolearnthislongermethod.Iguessyoucouldcallita"three-shottechnique,"ora"three-stepprogram."Inthefirstsession,youlearnthefinerpointsofejaculationawarenessusingtwoexercisesasalearningaid.Inthesecondsession,Iintroducetheexercisesthatresultinmultipleorgasm.Inthethirdsession,weworkontimingandpractice.We'regoingtodothesamethinghere,butinsteadofhavingthreesessionsintheoffice,youwilllearnallthreestepsinthecomfortofyourownhome.Inthischapter,thefirsttwostepsarepresented.Thethirdstepisinchapter11.
EJACULATIONEDUCATIONSTEP1:ANANEJACULATION
Howmuchdoyouknowrightnowaboutyourownejaculation?Didyouknow,forexample,thatejaculationactuallyoccursintwophases:emissionandexpulsion?Ifyoudid,yougetanAinbiology.Ifyoudidn't,it'stimetolearn.
Intheemissionphaseofyourejaculation,semenstartstomovethroughthevasdeferensasmusclesneartheprostateglandbegintospasm.Thesementhencollectsintheurethralbulbatthebaseofthepenis.Inthesecondphaseofyourejaculation-theexpulsionphase-thePCmusclestartstocontract,forcingthesemenupthroughtheurethraandoutofthepenis.
That'sallveryinteresting...butwhatdidIjustsay?I'mnotsosuremyself.Ithinkwhatweneedhereisaslightlylessacademicapproach.Let'sstartbyidentifyingalloftheplayersinthislittle,drama.Thevasdeferensareabunchofductsthatcarrysemenfromthetesticlestothepenis-asortofsemensubway.Theprostateglandsitsjustbehindthepenisatthetipofthebladder.Theprostateisalsoasourceofsemen,andifyou'reoneoftheluckyones,that'sallyou'lleverneedtoknowabouttheprostate.Theurethra,anextensionofthebladder,isthatlittletubethatrunsupthroughthecenterofthepenis.Itcarriesbothurineandsemenoutintothefreshair.Isthatalittleclearer?Tomakeitclearerstill,youmaywanttotakealookatthediagraminAppendix2.
Nowlet'sreturntothosetwophases.Inanutshell,here'swhat'shappening.Intheemissionphase,semenfromthetesticlesandprostatetakesalittlesubwayridetothebaseofthepenis,proddedalongbythecontractionsofmusclesneartheprostategland.Intheexpulsionphase,youroldfriendthePCmusclepicksuptheballandpushesthesemenupthroughthepenisandoutintotheworld.Phase1:Thecannonisloaded.Phase2:Thecannonisfired.It'sthatsimple.
Theentireejaculationprocess-emissionandexpulsion-takesabouttwoseconds.Thinkaboutthatforamoment.Thinkofalltheamazingthingsyou'vedoneforthattwo-secondpayoff.Thinkofthepoetryyou'vewritten,thefloristsyou'vesupported,thestoriesyou'vewoven...Natureistrulyamazing.
Whydoyouneedtoknowallofthis?Notsothatyouwillfeelfoolish.Honest.Itisveryimportantforyoutohaveafullunderstandingofyourownejaculationprocess,includingthetiming,ifyouaregoingtobeamasterofyourownbody.Formostmen,thecontractionofthePCduringexpulsionisaninvoluntaryprocess.OnceyoutakecontrolofyourPCmuscle,however,youcanvoluntarilydelayorpreventejaculation.Yetyourbodystillexperiencesthefullsensationoforgasm,completewithrapidheartrate,musclecontractions,andtheintensesensationofrelease.
Understandingthedifferencebetweenemissionandexpulsionhelpsyoulearntoactuallyfeelthesetwodistinctphasesofejaculationastheyarehappeningtoyou.Mostmenareveryawareoftheexpulsionphase,butthey-havelittlesenseofwhat'shappeningpriortothat.Butifyouwanttogetthetimingrightinthelastandmostimportantsetofexercisesinthisbook,you'regoingtoneedabitmoreejaculationawarenessthantheaverageguy.That'swhyIalwaysteachmyclientsthefollowingexercise.
TexasTwo-Step(withapartner)Exercise15:15:Texas
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-35-Lieonyourbackandaskyourpartnertobeginagenitalcaress.Doaseriesoflow-levelpeaks-likeaLevel4,aLevel5,andaLevel6.Giveyourpartnerlotsoffeedbacksosheknowswhentobackoffandwhentointensifyhercaress.Onceyouhavecompletedthesepeaks,switchpositions.
Yourpartnershouldnowbelyingonherbackwithherlegsintheair,slightlybent.Youaregoingtoinsertyourpenisandstartsomeslow,comfortablethrusting.Takingplentyoftime,peakuptoLevel7,thenbackoff.Next,peakuptoLevel8,thenbackoff.NowpeakuptoLevel9,thenbackoff.
Finally,thrustallthewayuptoyourpointofinevitability.Butthistime,themomentyoureachthepointofinevitability,bothyouandyourpartnershouldstopthrusting.Keeptakingdeepbreaths,openyoureyes,focusallofyourattentiononyourgenitals,andtrytofeelthesemenmovingfromyourtesticles,tothebaseofyourpenis,andupthroughtheurethra.
Couldyoufeelthesemencollecting?DidyoufeelyourPCspasm?Ifyoustoppedthrustingintime,yourtwo-secondejaculationprobablyfeltasifittookfivetotenseconds.
Mostmenthrustallthewaythroughorgasmwhentheyarehavingintercourse.Itwouldneveroccurtotheaveragemanthattherecouldbebenefitstostopping.Thatshouldmakethisexerciseanovelexperienceformostofyou.Manymentellmethisexercisegivesthemthefeelingthattheyareinanalteredstateofconsciousness.Itisverynormaltofeelalittlebitspacy,transcendent,oroutofyourbody.
Yourpartner'sfeedbackcanalsobeveryhelpfulhere.Ifshefeltthatyourejaculationhadmorethrobsthanusual,orthatitwentonforafewmoresecondsthanusual,askhertoletyouknow.Whatdiditfeelliketoher?Formostwomen,thisexerciseisarealturn-on.
Onceyouhavesuccessfullycompletedthisexercise,you'regoingtohaveaverydifferentunderstandingofyourownejaculation.Thefirstthingyou'regoingtonoticeishowmuchtimeyouhavebetweenyourperceivedpointofnoreturnandtheactualexpulsionstageofyourejaculation.Timetomakeafewphonecalls,payafewbills...well...moretimethanyouthought.YoushouldalsoseethatyouhavelotsoftimetosqueezeyourPCmuscleandpullbackfromthebrinkofejaculationifyouchooseto.Yourejaculationmayfeelinevitableonceyou'vereachedyourpointofnoreturn,butyouactuallywouldhaveplentyoftimetostopitifyouwanted.
Thisnewunderstandingofyourejaculationprocessshouldgiveyoumoreconfidenceinyourabilitytocontrolyourphysiology,evenatveryintenselevelsofarousal.Hopefully,thisconfidencewillminimizeanytendencytopanicduringStep2.Butbeforewegettothat,here'sanexercisetohelpyoulearnejaculationawarenesswithoutthehelpofapartner.
Exercise16:TheLongestYard(solo)16:TheLongestYardYard(solo)
Liedownonyourbackandgetverycomfortable(orsitinacomfortablechair).Thisexercisebeginslikeapeakingexercise.Usingplentyoflubrication,beginstrokingyourpenisandexperiencingyourarousal.PeakatLevel4,thenletyourarousaldroptwolevels.NowpeakatLevel6,thenletyourarousaldropoff.Takeplentyoftime.Eachpeakshouldtakeatleastthreeminutes.ResumeyourstrokingandpeakatLevel8.Onceagain,allowyourarousaltodropofftwolevelsbeforeintensifyingthestimulation.PeakatLevel9.Remembertobreathedeeplyasyouletyourarousaldropoffoncemore.
Intensifyyourstimulationandletyourarousal,riseallthewaytoyourpointofinevitability.Nowstopstroking.Openyoureyesandfocusallofyourattentiononyourgenitals.Breathedeeplyandregularlyasyoubegintoejaculate.Canyoufeelthesemencollectingatthebaseofyourpenis?CanyoufeelitwhenthePCmusclebeginstospasm?Canyoufeelthesemenasitmovesupthroughthepenis?Ifyoustoppedstrokingattherighttime,yourtwo-secondejaculationshouldfeelasthoughitlastedatleastfiveorsixseconds,ifnotlonger.AsImentionedinthepreviousexercise,feelingsofspacinessoralteredconsciousnessareverycommonwhenpracticingthistechnique.
KEYSTOTHEKINGDOMSTEP2:THETHEKEYSTHEKINGDOM
Nowthatyouhavealittlebitofejaculationawarenessunderyourbelt,sotospeak,youarereadyforthecoupdegrace.Thefollowingtwoexercisesaremyabsolutefavoritewaystoteachmenhowtohavemultipleorgasms.Ifyoufoundtheone-shottechniquetobeawkward,problematic,orlessthansatisfactoryinanyway-assomemendo-thesearetheexercisesforyou.Ilovetheseexercisesandthewaythatmyclientsrespondtothem.Frankly,I'venevermetamanwhodidn'tsharemyenthusiasmoncehefollowedallofmyinstructionsandsuggestions.
Exercise17isforacoupletodotogether,andExercise18isforthemanwhowouldprefertolearnonhisown.Youhaveworkedlongandhardtogettothispoint.Today,awholenewworldawaits.Yourdeepestfantasiesareabouttocometrue.It'stimeforthebigpayoff.Thekeystothekingdomwillsoonbeyours.ArethereanyclichésI'veleftout?Idon'tthinkso.It'stimeforustogettowork.
TheBigTakeoff(withapartner)Exercise17:17:The
Youaregoingtoneedafullhourtodothisexercise.Ifthere'soneexerciseyoudon'twanttorush,believeme,
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-36-it'sthisone.Theexercisebeginswiththemanlyingonhisback,receivingasensatefocusgenitalcaressfromhispartner.Focusonhowgoodyourpartner'scaressfeelsasyourarousallevelbeginstorise.Yourpartnershouldbefocusedontouchingyou,andhowsensualthatfeelstoher.
ThefirstthingyouaregoingtodoispeakatLevel4,thenletyourarousaldroptwolevels.Takeyourtime;bothofyoushouldbeenjoyingallthesensations.Next,doapeakatLevel5anddropbackdown.FollowthiswithapeakatLevel6.Eachpeakshouldtakeatleastthreeorfourminutes.OnceyouhavedroppeddownabitfromLevel6,youarereadytoswitchpositions.
Yourpartnershouldlieonherbackwithherlegsupandherkneesbent.Youwanttobeonyourknees,withmostofyourweightbeingsupportedbyyourlegs.Youaregoingtodoaseriesofpeakswhilehavingintercoursewithyourpartner,butthesepeaksaregoingtobeverydifferentfromanypeaksyou'vedonebefore.Fromthispointforwardyou'regoingtobedoingaseriesofreallyfast,intensepeaksusingvigorousthrusting.Andyou'regoingtobedoingalotofconcentrated,powerfulsqueezingwithyourPCmuscle.You'renotgoingtotakealotoftimeinbetweenpeakshere.Thisisasprintingexercise,andit'sgoingtobeveryintense.
Beginbyinsertingyourpenisintoyourpartnerandgentlythrusting.Pickupspeedquickly.NowthrustashardasyoucanuntilyourarousalhitsLevel8.StopthrustingandsqueezeyourPCmusclereallyhard.Yourpartnershouldstopthrustingtoo.Takeadeepbreathandopenyoureyes.Letyourarousaldropalevel.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Thisexerciseworksbestwhenyourpartner'sexperiencemirrorsyours.Thisdoesnotrequireanyactingskills.Thisexerciseshouldbejustasintenseforherasitisforyou,anditisimportantthatshefeelsfreetoexpressthat.Thereisonlyonecatch.Nomatterhowmuchshewantstokeepgoing,themomentyoustopthrusting,shemuststopmovingtoo.
Onceyou'vedroppedalevel,startdoingsomerelaxed,easythrusting.Trytochangetheangleofentryslightlysothatyourpenisispointinguphigherintoyourpartner.Assoonasyou'vemobilizedenoughenergy,startthrustingasfastandhardasyoucan.WhenyoureachLevel8.5,stopthrustingandsqueezeyourPCmusclereallyhard.Yourpartnershouldstopthrustingtoo.Takeadeepbreathandopenyoureyes.Letyourselfdropalevel.
Assoonasyouhaveyourenergyback,youwanttotakeoffagainforanothersprintupthehill.Trytopointyourpenisevenhigherthistime.ThrustashardandasfastasyoucanallthewaytoLevel9.ThenstopthrustingandsqueezeyourPCashardasyoucan.Yourpartnershouldstoptoo.Takeadeepbreathandopenyoureyes.Backoffalevel.
Thisiswhereit'sgoingtostartgettingreallyinteresting.Onceagain,youwanttoslightlyincreaseyour"angleofattack."Bythetimethisexerciseisdone,yourpenisisgoingtobeenteringyourpartneratalmostaninety-degreeangle!Areyouready?Thistime,you'regoingtothrustyourwaytoLevel9.5beforeyoustopandsqueezeyourPC.Rememberthatthehigheryourarousallevel,theharderyouhavetosqueezeandthedeeperyouneedtobreathe.
Dropalevelandcollectyourstrength.Ready?Thistime,you'reaimingforLevel9.75!Pointyourpenisevenhigherthanthelasttime.Nowthrustasfastasyoucanuntilyouhityourpeak.Thenstopthrusting,squeezeyourPCashardasyoucan,takeadeep,deepbreath,andopenyoureyes.Yourpartnershouldstopmovingthemomentyoustop.Anyextramotionrightnowcouldcauseyoutoejaculatebeforeyouwantto.
YourfinalpeakisgoingtobeatLevel9.9...yourpointofinevitability.Thisisthebigone.Don'tpanic.Rememberhowmuchtimeyouhavebetweenthepointofinevitabilityandtheexpulsionphaseofyourejaculation.Yourpenisshouldnowbepointedashighasitcango.Startyoursprint.Thrustashardandasfastasyoucanallthewayuptoyourpointofinevitability.Nowstopthrusting!SlamonyourPCmuscle-giveiteverythingyou'vegot.Takeahugebreath.Openyoureyes.NowtrytoholdthatPCsqueezeforatleastfivetotenseconds.
Rightnow,yourbodyshouldbegoingintoorgasm.Yourheartispounding,yourmusclesarecontracting,andyou'reprobablysweating-butyoudidnotejaculate!Youhavejusthadanorgasmwithoutejaculation.
Whatyouwanttodonowisbackoffandrestalittlebitbystartingsomereallyslow,easythrusting.Theslow,sensate-focusthrustingwillhelpyoumaintainyourerection.Giveyourpartnerlotsofkissesforbeingsowonderful.Butremember,it'snotoveryet.Onedown,onetogo.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Afteryourfirstorgasm,yourerectionmaygodowntemporarily.Onahardnessscaleofonetoten,itcoulddropaslowasfive.Thatiswhyyouneedtoresumethrustingassoonaspossibletobringyourselfback"up"tospeed.
Onceyou'rebothrestedandready,it'stimetoheadforthehomestretch.Startbyintensifyingyourthrusting.Letyourarousallevelrise.Butthistime,don'ttrytostop.PassLevel8.Keepthrusting.PassLevel9.Keepthrusting.Thrustallthewaythroughyourpoint,ofnoreturn.PassGO.Collect$200.Letyourselfhaveafull,fabulousorgasm,completewithejaculationandeighty-pieceorchestraaccompaniment.Congratulations!Youhavejusthadamultipleorgasm.Andboy,doyoudeserveit.
Thisexerciseiscalled"TheBigTakeoff"becauseitremindsmeofthewayairplanestakeoffatJohnWayneInternationalAirportinOrangeCounty,California.Tocutnoisepollutionontakeoff,thepilotanglestheplaneupreallyhigh,acceleratesreallyfast,thencutstheengines.YourfinalpeakatLevel9.9shouldfeelthesameway.Your
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-37-penisisangledupashighasitcango,youarethrustingasfastasyoucan,thensuddenlyyouuseyourPCmuscleto"cuttheengines."Getthepicture?
Thereisanotherimagethathelpsmyclientslearnandrememberthisexercise.Whenyouaredoingthisexercise,thinkofyourselfrunningupahillasfastasyoucanuntilyoureachasignthatsays"Level8."Youhitthebrakesandcatchyourbreath.Maybeyouslidebackdownthehillalittlebittothesignthatsays"Level7."Whenyoureachthatsign,youstartsprintingagain.Thistime,yousprintallthewaytothesignthatsays"Level8.5"Youhitthebrakesagain,catchyourbreath,andslidebackdownonelevel.ThesesprintscontinuetoLevel9andLevel9.5.Yourlastsprintistothesignthatsays"Level9.9:NOTRESPASSINGBEYONDTHISPOINT."Nowthissignisjustinchesfromthetopofthehill,andbeyondthatisasteepdroptothebottom.Sothistime,yousprintasfastasyoucanuptothesignandhityourbreaksreallyhardbecauseyoudon'twanttogooverthathill.Buteventhoughyourfeetarefirmlyplantedatthesign,youremotionalmomentumstillmakesyoufeelasthoughyou'vegoneoverthetop,andyouexperienceallthesensationsoffallingwithoutactuallyfalling.
Thesetwoimages-thenoiseabatementtakeoffandhillsidesprints-shouldhelpyougetyourmotionandyouranglesrightatthecrucialpointsinthisexercise.Ifyoualreadyhaveanimageofyourown,useitbyallmeans.Ijustfindthesetwoparticularimagesextremelyhelpfulwhensomeoneislearningthesetechniquesforthefirsttime.SomeclientstellmethatyearsaftertheyhavelearnedthesetechniquestheystillgetalittlemistyeyedeverytimetheyflyoutofJohnWayneInternationalAirport.FortheDo-It-Yourselfer
Someday,therewillbeanoldsaying,"Youdon'thavetohaveapartnertohaveamultipleorgasm."Today,youjusthavetotakemywordforit.ThefollowingmethodistheoneIusemostoftentoteachmenhowtohavea.multipleorgasmwithoutapartner.Evenifyouhaveapartnertolearnwith,practicingonyourownalwaysacceleratesthelearningprocess.Thisisaparticularlygoodexercisetopracticevarioustechniquesandhoneyourcontrol.Mostmenwindupslippinginatleastafewprivatepracticesessionswhentheyarefirstlearningthesemethods.There'salottolearninthebeginning,andmentellmethatpracticingontheirownhelpsbuildtheirconfidence.
Exercise18:Two-TimeChampion(solo)
Liedownandgetverycomfortable,orsitinacomfortablechair.Takesomelubricationandbeginstrokingyourpeniswithasensatefocusgenitalcaress.We'regoingtostartbydoingsomenice,slowlow-levelpeaks.IrecommenddoingoneortwoLevel4peaks,followedbyaLevel5peakandaLevel6peak.Eachpeakshouldlastatleastthreeorfourminutes.
Onceyouhavecompletedatleastthreeorfourlow-levelpeaks,you'regoingtotargetLevel8.Butthistime,you'regoingtodosomethingalittlebitdifferent.
TROUBLESHOOTINGTIP:Thistechniquedoesnotworkifyoutrytojumpintothedeependofthepoolandstartwithhigh-levelpeakslikeLevel8orLevel9.Youmuststartslowly,practicingpeaksatLevel4,Level5,andLevel6.
Insteadofusingaslowsensatefocusstroke,youaregoingtostrokeyourpenisasfastasyoucantobringyourarousaltoLevel8.
WhenyoureachLevel8,slamonyourPCmuscle,takeadeepbreath-asdeepasyoucan-andopenyoureyes.Slowyourstrokingdownandletyourarousaldropacoupleoflevels.
YournexttargetisgoingtobeLevel8.5.Togetthere,startstrokingyourpenisasfastasyoucan.WhenyoureachLevel8.5,squeezeyourPCmuscleashardasyoucan,takeadeep,deepbreath,andopenyoureyes.Slowdownyourstroke,breathereallyslow,andletyourarousaldropagain.
You'regoingtorepeatthisquick-strokemethodforLevel9andLevel9.5.Onceyou'vecompletedthesetwolevels,you'rereadytostrokeyourselfasfastasyoucanallthewayuptoyourpointofinevitability-Level9.9.Whenyouhitthatpoint,youwanttosqueezethatPCmuscleashardasyoupossiblycan.Openyoureyes.Breathedeeply.Holdthatsqueezetightforatleastafullfiveseconds,ifnotmore.
Atthispoint,yourbodyshouldgointoorgasm,butifyourPCmuscleisstrongandyoutimedyoursqueezeright,youwillnotejaculate.
Thisishardwork.You'reprobablysweatingandgaspingforbreathrightnowifyou'vebeenfollowingmyinstructionscarefully.Soletyourselfdropacoupleoflevelsandreallycatchyourbreath.Don'tstopstrokingbecauseyoudon'twanttoloseyourerection.Juststrokeyourselfslowlyforalittlewhile.
Readyforyoursecondorgasm?Great.Onceagain,beginstrokingyourpenisasfastasyoucan.PassLevel9,passLevel9.5,andkeepstroking.Strokeallthewaythroughyourpointofinevitabilityintoorgasm.Don'ttrytostop.Don'tuseyourPCbrake.Justletyourselfhaveafullorgasm,completewithejaculation.Andthatishowtohaveabeautifuldo-it-yourselfmultipleorgasm.Nowhittheshowers.
YouKnowIt'sWorkingWhen...
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-38-Letmeremindyouonelasttimethatyourinitialattemptswiththesemultiple-orgasmexercisesmightbringstrangeorunusualresults.Youmayonlyhaveapartialorgasmthatdoesn'tfeelallthatspecial,oryoumayfeelasthoughyoumissedanorgasm.Youmayevenhaveapartialejaculationwithoutanyorgasmafteryourfirstorgasm.Don'tgetscaredanddon'tgetdiscouraged.Thisisallverygoodnews.Youareclearlyonyourwaytohavingyourfirstfullmultipleorgasm.Yourbodyisjustgettingadjustedtosomenewideas.AsIsaidbefore,mostmenhaveatleastoneoftheseunusualexperiencesbeforetheirtechniques"click."Sojustrelaxandenjoytheprocess.
CHAPTER11
Practice,Practice,Practice
Learningthetechniquesinthisbookislikelearninganythingnew.Someguyswillbejustplainlucky.Theywillbecomemultiorgasmicquicklyandeasily,andretainthatability,evenimproveuponit,fortherestoftheirlives.Butwhatabouteveryoneelse?It'smyexperiencethatmostmenmastertheartofmultipleorgasminamoreconventionaltwostepsforward,onestepbackwardfashion.Forthesemen,thekeytoimprovementisthatonewordwealldread:practice.
Don'tyoujusthateitwhenateacherstartslecturingyouabouttheimportanceofpractice?IknowIdo.That'swhyIstoppedtakingviolinlessonsfourtimes.But...sigh...asweallknow,sometimesthere'sjustnosubstituteforputtingtheoldnosetothegrindstone.
Youarelearningtodoamazingthingswithyourbody.It'snotfairtoexpectyourselftobeperfectthefirsttimeandeverytime.
Withalittlebitofthe"p"word,however,youcaneasilysolidifyandrefinethetechniquesthatwillgiveyouyearsandyearsofmultiplepleasures.Themostimportantthingtorememberisthatfollowingthesetechniqueswillalwaysbringresults.Besides,thereareworsethingstobepracticingonaSaturdaynight.
Oneeasywaytostrengthenyourtechniqueistokeeprepeatingtheexercisesyou'vejustcompletedinchapter
10.NowIdon'tknowaboutyou,butthatdoesn'tsoundlikeaverypainfulhomeworkassignmenttome...andIhatehomework.Itisalsoveryhelpfultoreturntotheexercisesinearlierchaptersthatstresscontrolandtechnique.Practicepeaking(Exercises6and7),peakingwiththePC(Exercises8,9,and10),andplateauing(Exercises11and
12).Theseareespeciallyhelpfulifyouhavealittletroublecontrollingyourhigh-levelpeaks.Ofcourse,youshouldalwaysbegivingyourPCaworkouttokeepthatwonderfullittlemusclestrongasavise.
Thereisoneotherexercisethatreallyfocusesonfine-tuningyourtimingandcontrol.It'sareallyexcitingexercise,andevenifyoudon'ttryit,youshouldreadthroughit.Youmaypickupanideaortwoforlater.
SplittingtheAtom(withapartner)Exercise19:19:Splitting
Thisexercisebeginswiththemanlyingonhisbackwhilehispartnergiveshimagenitalcaress.Startbydoingsomereallyeasy,low-levelpeaksorplateaus,sayLevel4,Level5,andLevel6.Takeyourtimeatleastfourorfiveminutesateachlevel.Focusonthesensationsofthecaress.
Assumingthatyouhaveagooderectionatthispoint,it'stimetoswitchpositions.Yourpartnershouldlieonherbackwithherlegsupandkneesbent.Asyouenteryourpartner,becertainthatyourweightisbeingsupportedbyyourlegs,notyourarms.Startthrustingatamediumpace.
TrytopeakatLevel8.WhenyoureachLevel8,slowdownabitandgiveyourPCmuscleasqueeze.Makeitamediumsqueeze,notacrusher.Yourpartnershouldslowdownhermovementstomatchyours.Letyourarousaldropalevel.NowpickupyourspeedandpeaktoLevel8.5.SlowdownonceagainandgiveyourPCanothermediumsqueeze.Onceagain,yourpartnershouldslowdownhermovementstomatchyours.Letyourarousaldropalevel.PickupyourspeedagainandpeaktoLevel9.Slowdown.SqueezeyourPCandletyourleveldrop.Eachofthesepeaksshouldlastatleastthreeorfourminutes.
Nowthisiswhereitgetsalittlebitmoreinterestingthanusual.Fromthispointforward,you'regoingtobeinchingyourwaytowardthepointofinevitability,doingaseriesofshortpeaks(forty-fivesecondsorless)athigherandhigherlevels.ThinkofyourselfastryingtodoapeakatLevel9.1,Level9.2,Level9.3,etc.,allthewayuptoLevel9.9.
Itmaysoundabitridiculoustotryandsplithairslikethis,butactually,itisn'tthathard.Forexample,thedifferencebetweenLevel9.4andLevel9.5isprobablyjustafewthrusts-itcouldevenbeasinglethrust.Sowhatyou'regoingtobedoingisaddingnomorethanafewadditionalthrustseverytimeyoupeak,usingyourPCmuscletobringyoubackdownabitinbetweeneachpeak.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-39-Yourfinalpeakwillbeatyourpointofinevitability-Level9.9.Becauseofthegradualapproachyouhavemadetoreachthetop,youwillprobablyfinditmucheasiertosqueezeyourPCmuscleatjusttherightmomentthistime,lettingyourbodygooverintoorgasmwithoutejaculating.
Afteryourfirstorgasm,giveyourselfashortrestbydoingsomeveryslowthrustingandsomerealeasybreathing.Areyoureadyformore?Ifyou'remaintainingyourerectionandyourarousalisprettyhigh,pickupyourspeedandthrustallthewaythroughyourpointofinevitability,havingasecondorgasm,completewithejaculation.
Thisexerciseisveryunusualforbothpartnersbecauseit'salmostasifyou'redoingaveryhigh-levelplateauwhilesqueezingyourPCmuscleeveryfewseconds.Itmightfeelasthoughyourbodyishavinglittlespasmsormini-orgasmsbeforeyouhaveyourfirstbigorgasm.
Ifyoumissoneofyourhigh-levelpeaksandwinduphavingapartialejaculation,orevenafullejaculationwithyourfirstorgasm,that'sperfectlyokay.Thisisapleasuretechnique,notabirthcontroltechnique,andtherearenogradeshere.Trytohaveanotherpeakandanotherorgasm,butifyoucan'trecover,don'tsweatit.Justrememberthatthenexttimeyoudothisexercise,you'regoingtotrytobealittlebitmoreconservativewithyourthrusting.
Likemostofthetechniquesyouhavenowlearned,thispracticeexercisecanalsobedonewithoutapartner.Infact,it'saparticularlygoodexercisetodobyyourselfbecauseitisalittlebiteasiertocontroltheintensityofstimulationtothepeniswhenyouareusingyourownhands.Sincewe'reworkingwithsuchsubtleincrementalchangeshere,everylittlebitofcontrolmakesadifference.
Exercise20:TheDailyDouble(solo)
Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisliedownandgetcomfortable,orsitinaverycomfortablechair.Usingplentyoflubrication,beginasensatefocusgenitalcaress,slowlystrokingyourpenisinawaythatpleasesyoumost.Forthefirstpartofthisexercise,I'djustlikeyoutodothreeorfourlow-levelpeaks(e.g.Level4,Level5,andLevel6),usingyourPCmuscletocontrolyourarousalateachpeak.Trytouseamedium-strengthsqueezehere,notabone-crushingmonstersqueeze.Remembertobreathedeeplyateachpeaktohelpbringyourarousalbackdownanotchortwo.Takeyourtime.Eachpeakshouldtakeatleastthreeorfourminutes.
Yournextpeakisgoingtobeaslightlymoreintense,Level8peak.You'reprobablystrokingyourpenisabitfasterbynow.That'sfine,aslongasyou'renottryingtorushtheprocess.KeepusingthatPCmuscletocontrolyourarousal(afirmsqueeze,butnotakiller),andremembertobreathedeeplyasyousqueeze.ThenextphaseofthispracticeexercisebeginsatLevel9.Trytocreateaseriesofmini-peaksatLevel9,Level9.1,Level9.2,Level9.3,etc.,allthewaytoLevel9.9.
Thissoundstricky,butit'snotthathardonceyouknowthatitonlytakestwoorthreeextrastrokestoraiseyoufromonemini-leveltothenext.So,let'ssayyou'vejustusedyourPCmuscletopeakatLevel9.ResumeyourcaressandgothreeorfourstrokespastLevel9-thisisLevel9.1.AtLevel9.1,giveyourPCamediumsqueeze,breathedeeply,andletyourleveldropeversoslightly(notevenonefulllevel).Startstrokingyourselfagain.Thistime,gothreeorfourstrokespastLevel9.1thisisLevel9.2.GiveyourPCamediumsqueezeandbreathedeeply,lettingyourleveldropagain.Resumeyourcaress.Youaregoingtotrytocontinueinthisfashion,onetinyincrementatatime,untilyouhaveworkedyourselfallthewayuptoLevel9.9.
BythetimeyoureachLevel9.9,youshouldfinditrelativelyeasytogivethatPCmuscleonelastsolidsqueezeatjusttherightmoment,enablingyourbodytogointoorgasmwithouthavinganejaculation.AsIstressedinthepreviousexercise,thereisnoneedtofretifyoumissoneortwoofthesemini-levelsandfindyourselfhavingapartialorfullejaculation.Justmakeanotetobemoreconservativewithyourstrokingthenexttimeyoudecidetopractice(i.e.,fewerstrokesand/or,slowerstrokes).
Afteryourfirstorgasm,letyourselfrelaxforaminuteortwobydoingsomeslow,evenstroking.Ifyou'restillinthemoodformore(thisexerciseisprettyexhaustingandyoumayhavehadenoughforonesession),pickupyourspeedagainandstrokeyourselfallthewaytoasecondorgasm.Thistime,don'ttrytoholdbackyourejaculation.
YouGofromHere?WhereDoDoYouGofrom
Howareyoufeelingrightnow?Havingyourfirstmultipleorgasmcanbealife-alteringexperience.It'sdisorientingtorealizetheeffectthisprocesswillhaveoneverythingfromyourdeepestfearstoyourdeepestfantasies.Oneofthemostrewardingmomentsformeasaclinicianiswhenaclient"getsit"forthefirsttime.Tobepresentforthatmomentwhenaperson'sunderstandingofhisownsexualpotentialchangesforeverisquiteaprivilege.Obviously,Ican'tbewitheachandeveryoneofyourightnow.ButbelievemethatIamwithyouinspirit,andthatIamtrulyproudoftheworkeachofyouhasdone.
Onceyouhavetakencontroloftheprocessyouhavejustlearned,multipleorgasmsareeasy.Atfirst,you'llprobablywanttostickcloselytothestyleandstepsoftheexercises.Butbeforelong,you'regoingtofeelsoconfidentinyourejaculatorycontrolthatyouwillbereadytoexpandyourhorizons.Fortheambitiousmanandhispartner,abravenewworldawaits.Thinkofalltheexercisesinthisbookasyour"starterkit."I'veincludedeverythingyouneed
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-40-togetgoing,andhavehoursandhoursoffun,butit'sreallyjustthebeginning.Soonyou'regoingtowanttoaccessorize.
I'msureyouhavenoticedbynowthatineachofthemultiple-orgasmexercisesinthisbook,Iencouragedyoutohaveyoursecondorgasmwithinaminuteortwoofyourfirst.Thereasonforsuggestingyouhaveyoursecondorgasmsoquicklywastomakelearningthesetechniqueslessoverwhelming.It'shardenoughtogettothepointwhereyoucanhaveyourfirstnonejaculatoryorgasm.Youdon'tneedtobeworryingaboutyoursecondorgasmtoo.Inthebeginning,it'smoreimportanttoknowthatyoucanhaveasecondorgasm.Thetimingofthatorgasmisalotlessimportant.
Butnowyouknowyoucanhavetwoorgasmsinarowwithoutlosingyourerection.Nowyou'reabeliever.Youmaynotwanttohavethatsecondorgasmsoquickly.No...youmaywanttowaitawhile...andwait...andwait.Afterall,isn'tthatwhatyou'reherefor?
It'stimetostartexpandingyourrepertoire.Mostexerciseregimensbeginwithstretchingexercises,butthat'swhereoursisgoingtoend.Beginbytryingtostretchoutthetimebetweenyourfirstandsecondorgasm.Howlongcanyougobeforehavingyoursecondorgasm?Howlongdoyouwanttogo?Maybeyoudon'twanttoejaculatethesecondtimeeither,soyoucanhaveathirdorgasm...orevenafourthorgasm!Whynot?You'veearnedit.Fromnowon,hereisyournewmantra:Stretch,stretch,stretch.Startexperimentingtoo.Becreativeandbeambitious.Nowthatyouknowwhattodo,you'reincontrol.justkeepinmindthatyoualwayshaveyourtriedandtruestarterkitexercisestofallbackonshouldyouloseyourway,Experimentwithyourtiming.Experimentwithyourtechniques,withyourpacing,andwithyourpositions.Butbeforeyoudoanything,getyourpartner'sinput.Whatdoesshewantrightnow?Whatareherfantasies?Whatareherneeds?Wheredoesshewanttogofromhere?Letheranswersbeyourguide.
Malemultipleorgasmisamagicalthing.Magicalforyou,magicalforyourpartner,andmagicalfortherelationship.Thehardestworkisnowbehindyou,andthefutureisfullofpossibilities.Justrememberthatwhereveryoudecidetogofromhere,themostimportantthingforbothofyouistoenjoyyourselves.
CHAPTER12
Success!
Iwouldliketoendthisbookbyintroducingyoutofourmoremultiorgasmicmen.Allofthesemenhaverecentlylearnedtheverysametechniquesyouarenowpracticing.Eachmanhasaslightlydifferentstorytotell,andeverystoryiswellworthtelling.Whileeachofthesemenstartedwithadifferentmotivation,adifferentunderstandingofmalesexuality,adifferentattitude,andadifferentphysiology,theyallhadthesamegoal:malemultipleorgasm.Havingnowachievedthatgoal,theyallwereeagertosharetheirexperienceswithyou,thereader.Someofthemevenhadadvicetheywantedtooffer.
Stephen'sStory
Likemanymenwhoareinterestedinlearninghowtobecomemultiorgasmic,Stephen'smotivationwasanaturaloutgrowthofhispleasureorientation.Whenwefirstmet,hegavemethefollowinginformationabouthimself:
"Ibelievethereissomuchpleasuretogetoutofeverysingleaspectoflife.NomatterwhatitisI'mdoing-skiing,biking,painting,evenworking-I'malwaystryingtofindthepleasurezoneandstretchmyexperienceinthatzone.Tome,that'swhatlifeisallabout.Ofcourse,I'vealwaystriedtodothesamethingwithsex.I'malwaysexperimentingwithdifferenttechniques,alwaystryingtoexpand'thezone.'Don'tgetmewrong-it'snotanobsessionoranythinglikethat.Ijusthaveaverystronginternaldrive,coupledwithunendingcuriosityandawillingnesstotrynewthings.
"That'swhyIwassodrawntotheideaofmalemultipleorgasm.Thewholeconceptfeltlikesuchanaturalextensionofmyattitudeandmylife.IstillremembermyreactionthefirsttimeIheardthatsuchathingexisted.IwaslisteningtosomesexologistontheradiotalkingabouttheoriginalKinseyfindings.Itwasaprettyboringdiscussion,untilhementionedthepartaboutmultiorgasmicmen.Suddenly,abigsmilebrokeacrossmyface,andIsaidtomygirlfriend,'Nowthatsoundslikeitshouldbeme.'"
Stephen'sgoalwhenhestartedworkingwithmeattheclinicwastolearnhowhecouldstayinsidehispartner'svaginaatveryhigharousallevelsforaslongaspossible.Hetoldmethathedidn'twant"justanyoldmultipleorgasm."Hewaslookingforanexperienceofmaximumintensity.Thatreallymademelaugh,sinceItendtothink
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-41-ofalmosteverymultipleorgasmasaprettyintenseexperience.
ThisishowStephensummeduphislearningprocess:
"Aftermasteringtheinitialexercises,itwasn'tlongbeforeIlearnedhowtomaintainmyerectionandmyarousalaftermyfirstorgasm.Atfirst,Iwasn'talwaysabletostopmyselffromejaculating.Thisdidn'tsurpriseme.Afterall,I'vebeenejaculatingduringorgasmforalotofyearsandmybodyhastobeprettyusedtothatpath...Ididn'texpecttogettotalcontrolovernight.
"EvenifIejaculatedIwouldtrytocontinuethrustingforaslongaspossible.Dina,mypartner,wasextremelyhelpfulduringthosetimes.Sheneverjudgedme,nevercriticizedme,andmostimportant,nevertriedtostopme.ShejustletmedowhateverIcoulddo.Iwasdeterminedtogetthehangofthisonewayortheother,buthergenerousattitudereallyhelped.
"SoonIwasabletohaveasecondorgasmwithintwoorthreeminutesofmyfirst.Butthatwasjustthebeginning.OnceIknewIcouldkeepmyerectionandkeepgoing,Ireallystartedtopush'thezone.'Fiveminutes,tenminutes,fifteen,twenty...IfindthatnowIcanevenletmyselfejaculateduringmyfirstorgasmwithoutlosingmyerection,andIstillhaveasecond,partialejaculationwithmysecondorgasm.That,tome,isamazing.
"Thekey;Ihavediscovered,hasbeentofocuseverythingonthesensationofmovinginandoutofmypartner'sbody.That'swherethesensatefocusexercisesreallypaidoff.WhenDinaiswetfrommyfirstejaculation,theexperienceisevenmoreintense.Iguessthat'swhathelpsmakethe'impossible'-nowpossible."
Alex'sStory
WhenAlexwasateenager,hewasabletohavemultipleorgasmswithmanyofthewomenwithwhomhewashavingsex.Hewasveryself-assured,andreallylovedhavingsex.Ashegotolder,however,helosthismultiorgasmicability.Healsolostalotofhissexualconfidence.
AlexcametomyofficewithhiswifePaula.Theyhadbeenmarriedforsixyears.Whiletheyassuredmethatmanyaspectsoftheirsexlifewereveryrewarding,theyalsoacknowledgedthattherewereareasthatneededwork.
Duringthisfirstvisit,Alexexpressedaverypowerfuldesiretoenhanceandcontrolhissexualresponse,andtorecapturethemagicofhisteenageyears.Paula'sgreatestconcernwasAlex'slackofconfidence,butshewasalsointriguedbytheideaofmalemultipleorgasm,andhadnotroubleimaginingthepossiblebenefitsforbothofthem.
AlexstartedhisrelearningprocessbystrengtheninghisPCmuscle.HethenbegandoingpeakingandplateauingexerciseswithPauladuringintercourse.HereishowherecalledhisinitialsessionswithPaulapracticingthesenewtechniques:
"DuringintercoursewithPaulaIwouldsqueezemyPCateachpeak,allthewayuptothepointofinevitability.Atthatpoint,IwouldhavewhatIwouldcalla'60-percentorgasm'alongwithapartialejaculation.Iwasabletomaintainmyerection,andcontinuehavingintercoursewithPaula,whichwasgood.Butfrankly,itdidn'tfeelthatgood.Itactuallyfeltkindoffunny-weirdfunny-andatthatpointIwasskeptical."
AftertalkingtoAlexandPaulaabouttheseinitialexperiences,IrealizedthatAlexhadnotbeenhighlysuccessfulhisfirstfewtimes.IfeltthatAlexneededtobackupabitandslowhisprocessdown.Insteadofpushinghimtokeeppracticingthetechniqueshewasalreadyusing,Iencouragedhimtodomoreawarenessexercises.
Asacouple,IthoughtAlexandPaulawouldbenefitfrommorepracticedoingsensatefocuscaresses.AndIsuspectedthatAlexwouldalsobenefitfromfocusingmoreontheprocessofcreatingandmaintainingplateausathigherandhigherlevels.Isuggestedhepracticehisplateausaloneatfirsttokeepsomeofthepressureoff.Thathelpedalot,asAlexillustrates:
"Istartedtopracticebymyself,doingplateausatLevel8,8.5,9,and9.5.AtthepointofinevitabilityIwouldfocusintentlyonmygroinandthesensationofthrusting.Atthispoint,Ihadasenseofanextremelyprolongedorgasm–maybetentotwelveseconds,comparedtomyusualthreetofourseconds.Iwouldbesweatingliketheydointhemoviesandmyheartwouldbepounding.Thatwasaverynewexperienceforme,anditwasveryintense.IrememberthatatthetimeIwasthinkingtomyself,'Youmaybeontosomethinghere.'
"ThenItrieddoingthesqueezeagainduringintercoursewithPaula.ThefirstthreetimesItried,Ionlyhada'50-percentorgasm,'butunliketheprevioustimes,Iwasnolongerejaculating.Somethingaboutmybodywasdefinitelychanging,andIfeltreallyencouraged."
AtthispointinthetrainingprocessIdecideditwastimetointroduceAlexandPaulatomyfavoriteexercise:"TheBigTakeoff."Alexrecalls:
"Learningthenewexercisewasthefinalturningpointforus.TheveryfirsttimePaulaandItriedthis,Ihadtwo'100-percentorgasms'withinsevenminutesofeachother.Paulaalsohadanextraordinaryorgasm.Success!"Atfirst,itwaseasiertohavemysecondorgasmoutsideofPaula'svagina.Onceshefeltsatisfied,wewouldstophavingintercourseandshewouldmasturbatemetomyclimaxwithherhands.Thatwasfineforawhile,buteventuallyIbecamecomfortablestayinginsideherformysecondclimax.Ofcourse,thatfeltbetterforherandforme.
"Icannotoverstatewhatbecomingmultiorgasmicagainhasdoneforme.WithinlessthantwomonthsIwent
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-42-frombeingextremelyuncertainaboutthewholethingtobeingabletohavetwo'100percentorgasms'-onewithoutanejaculationandonewith-wheneverIchosetodoso.Becomingmultiorgasmichasgivenmebackmysexualconfidence,andasenseofmyselfthatishardtoputinwords.Paulateasesmeaboutitallthetime.ShesaysthatI'madifferentperson-apersonshewantstohavesexwithalotmoreoften."
Charles'sStory
Charlescompeteseveryyearinanumberofmarathonsandbiathlons.Beingaseriousathlete,hewaspreparedtobuilduphistechniquesthesamewayanathletewouldbuildupenduranceforamarathonorothersportingevent.Charlesknewhisbodywellenoughtoknowthatifhewaspatient,hecouldtrainhimselftohaveamultiorgasmicresponsealmostautomatically.Here'swhathehadtosay:
"Ilovesex,andmywifeandIhavegreatfuntogetherinbed,butthereisapartofmethattakessexveryseriously.Ihavepushedmybodyhardthroughallkindsofrigorousathletictrainingprograms,andithasalwayspaidoffintheend.Intuitively,Iknewthatitwouldn'tbeanydifferentforsomethinglikemalemultipleorgasm.Youputyourselfthroughyourpaces,yougettheresult.
"Mystrategywastodoanexerciseandlearnatechniquebymyself,thentrythesametechniqueinasessionwithmywife.Thesessionswithmywifewerestrictlyforourpleasure.Ididthehardworkbymyself."
Charleswasanxioustogetstarted,yetheprogressedthroughhistrainingslowlyandmethodically-themarkofanathletewhotakeshisworkseriously.Heexplains:
"IexercisedmyPCmusclealot,butIneveroverdidit;Iknewitwouldonlybeamatteroftimebeforeeverythingkickedin.Peoplepushtoohardwhentheydon'tknowtheirbodies.Butseriousathleteshavelearnedtherewardsofpacingthemselves.Whyshoulditbeanydifferentwiththeseexercises?"
DidCharles'spatienceandhardworkpayoff?I'lllethimtellyou:
"IthasbeenalmostayearnowsinceIstartedtolearnthesetechniques,andtheresultshavebeenextraordinary.Comparedtootherexerciseregimensofmine,thisonewasasnap.Ineverneededtolearnthe'windsprint'technique.AllIhadtodowaspracticemypeaking,plateauing,andPCcontrolandeverythingelseunfoldedeffortlessly.Icouldn'treallytellyouwhyIdidn'tneedthefinalexercises.Mybodyjustfoundadifferentway."
Therearemanypathstothetopofthemountain,andclearly,Charlesfoundhis.Thegoalhereismalemultipleorgasm,andasfarasI'mconcerned,whateverworks,works.Notsurprisingly,it'sstillworkingforCharles:
"Whenamarathonisover,it'sover,butwhenyou'remultiorgasmic,itneverends.Iambecomingmoreandmoreorgasmicallthetime,eventhoughIdon'teventryanymore.Ihavehadasmanyasfiveorgasmsduringonesessionofintercoursewithmywife.Youknowwhattheoddpartis?It'sasthoughI'vesuddenlydiscoveredthatmybodyisnaturallymultiorgasmic.IneverknewitbecauseIdidn'tevenknowthatsuchathingexisted.Butnowitfeelslikeit'swhoIam,andwhoIalwayswas.
"MywifesaysthatknowingmeandknowinghowdeterminedIcanbe,she'snotentirelysurprisedbymysuccess,thoughshecertainlyispleased.ShethinksthisallhappenedsoeasilyformebecauseI'msodriven,butIthinkthat'sonlyhalfofthestory.Ireallywonderhowmanymenareprobablyjustlikeme,withthis'natural'abilityjustsittingthere,waitingtobetapped."
Frederick'sStory
Finally,I'dlikeyoutomeetFrederick.Frederickisastructuralengineerwhotoldmethathisdesiretolearnaboutmalemultipleorgasmwasdrivenby"anengineer'sfascinationwithhowhisbodyworks."MenlikeFrederickaresomethodicalandscientificintheirstyleofapproachthatfromtheverybeginningtheirsuccessseemsinevitable.
Totrainhisbodytorespondthewayheenvisioneditcould,Frederickinventedhisownstyleof"ridingthe9's."HelearnedtoplateauatLevel9forafulltenminutes,usingacombinationofbreathing,PCcontractions,andvaryingthespeedofhisthrusting.Youlearnedtocreateplateauslikethisinchapter7,butyouprobablydidn'timagineyoucouldride,high-levelplateausallthewaytoorgasm.Well,Frederickdid,andhelikedtheresultssomuchthathestuckwithit,creatinghisownpersonalstyleofclimaxing.
Ridingawavelikethisatveryhighlevelsisdifferentfromthemoreaggressivetechniquesyoulearnedinchapter10.Insteadofpushingyourselftothepointoforgasm,youalmostfalloverintoorgasmafterplateauingforlongintervalsatveryhighlevels.AsIbrieflymentionedearlierinthebook,thistypeofapproachmostcloselyresemblesthewaymanywomenhavemultipleorgasms.
Notsurprisingly,Frederickhadalottosayabouthisprocess:
"Ididmostofmytrainingbymyself.IwasabletobringmyselftomultipleorgasmbeforeItrieddoingitwithapartner.IfIcanbefrankhere,I'vealwaysfeltthatmasturbationisessentialifyou'regoingtolearnyourownpersonalresponse.Iknowthatsomepeoplemightbeuncomfortablewiththis,butpersonally,Ithinktheyaregettinginthewayoftheirownprogressandtheirownpleasure.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-43-"Ifyou'relikeme,thekindofguywhocangetprettyobsessedwithmasteringsomethinglikethis,Idon'tthinkit'sfairtoaskyourpartnertoworkwithyoueverysingletimeyouwanttopracticethesetechniques.Sometimes?Yes.Butnoteverysingletime.Still,thatpracticeisimportant-atleastitwasforme.Icouldn't'imaginelearning'to'navethekindofcontrolInowhaveifIdidn'tspendalotoftimeworkingonthisalone."
Frederickhaslearnedtohaveasmanyasfourorgasmsbeforeheejaculates.Hisfinalwordsonthesubjectshouldbeaninspirationtoeveryman:
"Youcan'tfail!Ifyoudothework,yousimplycannotfail!Everyexerciseisasteppingstoneclosertothegoal.Eachone,nomatterhowitfeels,isalearningexperience.Sometimesitworks,sometimesitdoesn't,andsometimesyoudon'tknowwhetheritdidoritdidn't.Thatcanbealittleweird,butyourbodykeepschanging;itkeepsadjustingandadapting.Themostimportantthingistokeepapositiveattitudeallthetimeandjustkeepgoing.AndkeepworkingthatPCmuscle!AstrongPCmuscleisarequirementforsuccess!"
YourStory
Sothereyouhaveit.Fourverydifferentmen,fourverydifferentexperiences,yeteveryoneisasuccessstory.Sowhataboutyou?What'syourstory?Iwanttoknow.Whydidyoudecidetolearnaboutmalemultipleorgasm?Whathasthelearningexperiencebeenlikeforyou?Whatwaseasy?Whatwaschallenging?Nowthatyouhavecompletedalloftheexercises,whatdoesitfeelliketobeamultiorgasmicman?Howhasyourbodychanged?Howhasyoursenseofyourselfchanged?Ifyouareinarelationship,howhasthatchanged?Whathasbeenyourpartner'sexperienceofthisprocess?Whatadvicedoyouhaveforothermenwhoareinterestedinlearningthesetechniques?I'mreallyinterestedinyourinput.Letmeknowbywritingtomecareofthepublisher.
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HowtoMakeLoveAllNight(andDriveaWomanWild)Dr.BarbaraKeesling,Ph.D.-
44-APPENDIX1.InterestingThingstoReadWhenYou'reNotHavingSex
Anand,M.(1989).TheArtofSexualEcstasy.LosAngeles,CA:JeremyP.Tarcher,Inc.Interesting"ecstasy"exercisesformen,women,andcouples.
Barbach,L.(1975).ForYourself..TheFulfillmentofFemaleSexuality.NewYork:DoubledayandCompany.Fortheladies,andthemenwholovethem,thisbookfocusesonincreasedorgasmicresponseforwomen.
Brauer,A.,andBrauer,D.(1983).ESO(extendedsexualorgasm).NewYork:WarnerBooks.Packedwithorgasmenhancementexercisesformenandwomen.Interestingtoreadandfuntotry.
Carter,S.,andSokol,J.(1988).WhatReallyHappensinBed.NewYork:Evans.Asolid,sanelookatsexualfears,sexualfantasies,andsexualrealities.Smart,smart,smart.
Danoff,D.(1993).Superpotency.NewYork:WarnerBooks.Helpfulformenwhoaretryingtodevelopamorepositiveattitudeabouttheirsexuality.
Dunn,M.,andTrost,J.(1989)..Malemultipleorgasms:Adescriptivestudy.ArchivesofSexualBehavior18(5),377-387.Oneofthemoreimportantjournalarticlesconcerningtheexistenceofmalemultipleorgasmandnonejaculatoryorgasm.Amust-readforanydoubtingThomas.
APPENDIX2.MaleSexualOrgans(diagram)
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